I'd been dating the lead singer for 2 months now but I heard that's generally frowned upon to date your bandmates is it true?
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Is it bad to date the lead singer ???
- Thread starter Max Mona Kulas
- Start date
Well, all the best to you!
The big question in these situations is of course always: What happens with the band, if your relationship doesn't work out? But the answer to that depends on so many different things, in the end only you two know what is right.
The big question in these situations is of course always: What happens with the band, if your relationship doesn't work out? But the answer to that depends on so many different things, in the end only you two know what is right.
/\ That's intended in the spirit of fun, by the way. Hope it all works out.
I have been in a bad where the drummer was dating (and later married) one of the lead singers. It was all very low drama.
You might want to have a discussion with your other half about boundaries and generally agree on protocol for band discussions/decisions etc.
I have been in a bad where the drummer was dating (and later married) one of the lead singers. It was all very low drama.
You might want to have a discussion with your other half about boundaries and generally agree on protocol for band discussions/decisions etc.
NOT dating other band members was a hard lesson I learned, fairly early on. Other than maybe Pat Benatar and Neil Girardo, I don't think I've ever seen it work.
Good luck to you, though.
Good luck to you, though.
Well, it never did Fleetwood Mac any harm!` 
No band member would want any couple problems to be their problems too, is probably all
Salud!
It's a potential (and inevitable) source of band drama, but the heart wants what the heart wants.
Enjoy it!
It's a potential (and inevitable) source of band drama, but the heart wants what the heart wants.
Enjoy it!
My family totally resented me for dating the lead singer
Which was typical of my Wife and kids
Which was typical of my Wife and kids
Frowned upon by whom? If it's frowned upon by your band mates, it's something you need to consider, and you probably need to come to some agreement with them on, uh, exit strategies in case the relationship isn't bliss. If it's merely frowned upon by rando's on the internet like us, pfft.
Horse play is all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
Dating a member of your band can’t be any worse than crowdsourcing relationship advice from total strangers on the internet.
It's not about dating her, it's about the drama it can, and will create if it all goes south? In fact, if people were honest in a reply, the whispers are already there. Who will leave the band if all that happens? From there, the band as a whole could be comprised. If you stop dating her it's an issue anyway for both of you. Now, a catch 22.
I played in a band years ago with this arrangement. Nothing was said about it up front but, there was plenty otherwise. They bickered all the time, It was never comfortable! The band broke up because of it. Together they were never hired just because of that reputation. They eventually played in separate bands and they split up anyway. It's not what you are seeing and hearing, it's the opposite. For me, after my experience, I will never play in a band with a couple involved. I'm a BL, and would never hire a couple.
I played in a band years ago with this arrangement. Nothing was said about it up front but, there was plenty otherwise. They bickered all the time, It was never comfortable! The band broke up because of it. Together they were never hired just because of that reputation. They eventually played in separate bands and they split up anyway. It's not what you are seeing and hearing, it's the opposite. For me, after my experience, I will never play in a band with a couple involved. I'm a BL, and would never hire a couple.
There are definitely risks, but there are a lot of variables. How serious is the band? Is there a band leader or is it a democracy? How serious is the relationship? Did the relationship exist first, or the band?
I think there are basically two dangers to band members dating. One is that any trouble in the relationship spills over and messes up the band. If the couple break up or start fighting, the rest of the band suffers. The other is the danger that, if the relationship is very strong, that can also create trouble in the band - the John and Yoko problem. If one of the couple is the BL, for instance, other band members can feel that their partner has undue influence. If the band is a democracy, the couple become a voting bloc that can shut out the wishes of their bandmates. If it's a democracy but one lover votes against the other on a big issue, that might create friction in their dating relationship, and round you go again.
There are cases where it works. Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo, Susan Tedeschi and Derek Trucks, and others. But be mindful of the issues and talk through how you intend to handle them, with each other and with the rest of the band.
I think there are basically two dangers to band members dating. One is that any trouble in the relationship spills over and messes up the band. If the couple break up or start fighting, the rest of the band suffers. The other is the danger that, if the relationship is very strong, that can also create trouble in the band - the John and Yoko problem. If one of the couple is the BL, for instance, other band members can feel that their partner has undue influence. If the band is a democracy, the couple become a voting bloc that can shut out the wishes of their bandmates. If it's a democracy but one lover votes against the other on a big issue, that might create friction in their dating relationship, and round you go again.
There are cases where it works. Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo, Susan Tedeschi and Derek Trucks, and others. But be mindful of the issues and talk through how you intend to handle them, with each other and with the rest of the band.
Great to get the advice and opinions of people one never knows, especially re things like pickguards or potential life partners.
If it's that big of a deal maybe having a word with your bandmates would be a better idea? There's even a slight chance that they don't really give a damn and just want to play music...
Of course, if she's the drummer's GF, leave her alone ～ Rhythm Section Sticks Together. Singer or lead guitarist's significant other, however, is totally fair game.
If it's that big of a deal maybe having a word with your bandmates would be a better idea? There's even a slight chance that they don't really give a damn and just want to play music...
Of course, if she's the drummer's GF, leave her alone ～ Rhythm Section Sticks Together. Singer or lead guitarist's significant other, however, is totally fair game.
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