Is my friend a bad person?

[MakoMan]

So my friend - I'll call him Bob - told his wife yesterday that he had to take one of his basses down to the shop to have some work done on it. Then he took an empty bass case, kissed her goodbye, loaded the case into his car's trunk and headed to the store.
At the store Bob tried out a bass he was interested in and discovered he really liked it. Bob had cash on him that he had taken from a hidden spot in his garage where he puts money from gigs and stuff he sells, so he paid for the bass, asked the store to set it up etc and told them he would pick it up the next day. Then he went home and just left the empty case in his trunk.
The next day Bob went back to the store to pick up his new bass, put it in the case, went home and told his wife he was going to go to his music room to test out the repaired bass. After a little test - just a few hours - the new bass just slipped into the collection with his other dozen or so basses.
Bob says he really didn't intend to deceive anyone... it just happened. Is this normal behavior, or is my friend a bad person?

 

[bassist4dalord]

I’m not here to pass judgment because it’s not my place. I will tell you this- when I’ve hid stuff from my wife, she always finds out and it’s always an awful conversation.

Take that for what you will.

 

[lug]

So my friend - I'll call him Bob - told his wife yesterday that he had to take one of his basses down to the shop to have some work done on it. Then he took an empty bass case, kissed her goodbye, loaded the case into his car's trunk and headed to the store.
At the store Bob tried out a bass he was interested in and discovered he really liked it. Bob had cash on him that he had taken from a hidden spot in his garage where he puts money from gigs and stuff he sells, so he paid for the bass, asked the store to set it up etc and told them he would pick it up the next day. Then he went home and just left the empty case in his trunk.
The next day Bob went back to the store to pick up his new bass, put it in the case, went home and told his wife he was going to go to his music room to test out the repaired bass. After a little test - just a few hours - the new bass just slipped into the collection with his other dozen or so basses.
Bob says he really didn't intend to deceive anyone... it just happened. Is this normal behavior, or is my friend a bad person?

Depends. Does he look exactly like you in a mirror?

 

[5StringBlues]

I think you know the answer, Bob.

 

[707GK]

One action does not make someone a bad person. He did lie to his wife when he didn't need to, though. If he had the money and it wasn't going to impact their finances as a couple, why lie about it? Odd choice from your friend, IMO.

 

[JimmyThunder]

We're going to need to see pictures of the bass to make a judgement call here

 

[MakoMan]

One action does not make someone a bad person. He did lie to his wife when he didn't need to, though. If he had the money and it wasn't going to impact their finances as a couple, why lie about it? Odd choice from your friend, IMO.

What if it was the third bass he'd purchased since losing his job last month? And he'd been totally up front about the other two?

 

[knockerjoe]

That is really subjective but I’d give him a pass.
Bad guy to me would be hiding money for drug, gambling or cheating
purposes. To me it’s sometimes part of life as your wife maybe
buying shoes or clothes and hiding it too. My bet would be the
lying and deceit will come to the surface at some point. You will
not want to be there for that

 

[MakoMan]

We're going to need to see pictures of the bass to make a judgement call here

Unfortunately Bob is unable to take pictures at this exact moment. He says he'll shoot some tomorrow morning before my wife gets up.

 

[Diamond_Dave]

Don't stand outside if you hear thunder, Robert.

 

[MakoMan]

That is really subjective but I’d give him a pass.
Bad guy to me would be hiding money for drug, gambling or cheating
purposes. To me it’s sometimes part of life as your wife maybe
buying shoes or clothes and hiding it too. My bet would be the
lying and deceit will come to the surface at some point. You will
not want to be there for that

The truth is if Bob's wife finds about about the bass she will probably just laugh it off and ask why he didn't just tell her.

 

[Maxdusty]

Unfortunately Bob is unable to take pictures at this exact moment. He says he'll shoot some tomorrow morning before my wife gets up.

What??? Bob is sleeping with your wife?

If I were this "Bob", I'd buy flowers and come clean and he should offer to sell a bass if she wants him to. (Answer will probably be "no, you don't need to", as long as the flowers weren't swiped from the neighbor's yard)

 

[Rezdog]

Greetings from the North,

Maybe a little sly....
But bad?
Nah....
May there be peace in the valley.
And I hope he enjoys playing your new bass,
without shame.

Rezdog

 

[TheGreatSealof]

You are Bob.

 

[tb-player]

I always talk to my wife about bass purchases. She gets it. Of course, it doesn't hurt that every time she wants a new Louis Vuitton purse, I'm happy to oblige. I have G.A.S. She has P.A.S.

Happy wife. Happy life.

 

[BAG]

What if it was the third bass he'd purchased since losing his job last month? And he'd been totally up front about the other two?

the new bass just slipped into the collection with his other dozen or so basses.

I would say that Bob may have his priorities a bit wrong but I don't have the full picture.
Does Bob and his wife have enough savings to live without income for three months?
Is it possible that in the immediate future that the money spent on this bass might be needed for food, medical expenses or other necessities?
I'm going to sound like your wife here.... sorry, like Bob's wife.... if Bob already have a dozen or so basses were three more really necessary when unemployed in a job market that is not great?
I would say Bob is playing with fire here and may live to regret the decision.

 

[mikeoso]

Well, since you asked...lying to his wife so he can have more toys says something sad about the relationship with his wife, the priorities in his life, and his maturity. This is something that gets joked about a lot in music fora, but if this is real, the level of dishonesty on display here isnt funny. Is a bass really more important than having the trust of his spouse? If so, he should have stayed in 8th grade and wished for weekend hookups. Marriage is for grownups.

 

[MakoMan]

It's our 20th wedding anniversary next week. Maybe I'll buy her something nice and then show her the bass and say it's her anniversary present to me

 

[MakoMan]

You are Bob.

What gave me away. Was it that Bob was also a bass player? I knew I should have said he played guitar...

 

[sleddogn]

We're going to need to see pictures of the wife to make a judgement call here

i too vote for pics, gotta see how hot...