Double Bass "Is that a cello ?"

[IrishBassLad]

Stupid man: Hey is that a Viola you gots in der?
Me: Yes, It's a contra-basso vio viola with contra tenor tuning and an adjustable nut with a k29 tuner on the H string.
Stupid man: I think my cousin has the same thing!
Me:* Walks away shaking head *

 

[Dr_Atomic]

On the MTA in NY going to Juilliard about two years ago:

Mother of a little kid: look honey, a cello.
Me (not wanting the kid to grow up ignorant): actually, it's a bass.
Mother of a little kid: I know what I'm talking about. It's a cello!!
Me: *couldn't think of anything to respond*

 

[caillean]

LOL - well - I play both and haven't actually heard anyone get the confused - but - there are the "do ya keep your clothes in it" comments (to which the answer is - have done in the case in the past!) or - "is it a gun" (chuckle chuckle), to which I answer - nope, that's a violin - this is a super-charged, surface to air missile - wanna take me on punk?????!

Seriously, my biggest problem seems to be trying to fit everything into the car ............ but that's a whole different thread

 

[bassteban]

'You're gonna wish it was a cello when I stick it- '
oh- sorry, thought I was in slabs for a minute...

 

[Dr_Atomic]

Oh wait, this might be my best experience on this topic:

On the subway about a year ago in NYC.

Mailman: I know what that is... it's a harp, right?
Me: Sorry, no.
Mailman: Oh of course not, how stupid of me. It's an oboe!
Me: No.
Mailman: Right, um... a violin?
Me: No.
Mailman: Ok, wait, I know what it is, really I do. It's a bassoon.
Me: No.
Mailman: Ok, fine, what is it?
Me: A double bass.
Mailman: Right! Of course! I knew that...

 

[Phil Rowan]

I'd been used to "Hey man, shoulda picked the piccolo!", but one day, walking from the G to the E/V at Court Sq, I actually heard "Man, should have played the trumpet." I was dumbfounded to actually hear someone suggest something that actually made some sort of sense. People always say piccolo but don't realize how that might (most of the time) hurt ones ears.. unlike (most of the time) the trumpet.

 

[Marcus Johnson]

Lotta ex-trumpet players among double bassists. I'm one myself.

 

[Uncletoad]

Lotta ex-trumpet players among double bassists. I'm one myself.

+1. Played solo book in a big band for several years. Spent 2 years in the OSU Marching Band and my chops were never the same.

 

[Marcus Johnson]

Ugh. Marching band. I bet you had to do it in the snow like I did. UW-Eau Claire in the winter.

 

[emilio g]

Half my family still calls it "the big guitar".

 

[EthanTheBassist]

My best friend who I play with a few times a week still calls it a cello! I haven't stopped correcting him. He'll learn. (It may take him while though...he plays guitar! *rimshot*)
Godspeed.

 

[BenderR]

One of my favorites:

Innocent Bystander: What is that?
Me: It's a double-bass.
Innocent Bystander: Oh, really? what does it have two of?

That's actually a pretty good comeback.

Once while walking to a lesson I also had a lady ask me if I was carrying a guitar(it was still in it's case). I told her it was a bass. Upon hearing this, she said something like, "No, it must be a guitar, that's WAY too big to be a bass, isn't it?" After explaining to her it was indeed a bass, and that a guitar was much smaller than a bass, she seemed really confused. Poor lost soul.

My Warwick, short-scale, slab-bass is actually smaller than a Stratocaster.

That's great! I'm gonna remember that one. The two guys I work with are both Rochester Phil bassists, so their cronies are always stopping in to shoot the balogney and get their basses tweaked, and I rarely miss an opportunity to bust their stones a little. Like:
"Nice bass, but it's looking a little old, why don't you try one of our nice new ones?"
It's best when they don't know me well and think I'm serious.

That reminds me, when is Warburton going to buy a new bass and give up on the old thing?

A 6/4 size, with sub-contra-cello tuning.

Great answer!

I have not even been playing DB that long ~1 year and I have gotten the cello thing. I told them that my cello has a pituitary problem and it is very sensitive about it.


jeff

Another great answer.

On the MTA in NY going to Juilliard about two years ago:

Mother of a little kid: look honey, a cello.
Me (not wanting the kid to grow up ignorant): actually, it's a bass.
Mother of a little kid: I know what I'm talking about. It's a cello!!
Me: *couldn't think of anything to respond*

"In that case I'm going to the music store and asking form my money back 'cause I specifically asked for a bass!" Now, if it happens again you'll be prepared.

Half my family still calls it "the big guitar".

The one that gets me is the slab player that insists an electric bass guitar is its own family of instrument.

It's all a matter of semantics.

 

[Paul Warburton]

That reminds me, when is Warburton going to buy a new bass and give up on the old thing?

That's that "old thingy".

The coolest remark I've heard about our instrument from a by-stander came from an old Readers Digest.
Guy was standing in a snow storm with his bass waiting for a bus. An older lady was just getting up from the bench to get on her bus. As she started to enter the bus, she turned around and said to him: "Well, I certainly hope they ask you to play when you get there."

 

[BenderR]

That's that "old thingy".

I used to tease Dale all of the time about saving up for another amp to replace that old GA-50.

The coolest remark I've heard about our instrument from a by-stander came from an old Readers Digest. Guy was standing in a snow storm with his bass waiting for a bus. An older lady was just getting up from the bench to get on her bus. As she started to enter the bus, she turned around and said to him: "Well, I certainly hope they ask you to play when you get there."

That almost makes up for being medically constrained from playing double bass. Now that the doc says nothing longer than a 30" scale I can disguise my bass as a guitar. It's actually smaller than most solid-body electric guitars.

 

[Gopherbassist]

Cello? How odd. They're not even in the same family.

 

[Phil Rowan]

I've been thinking of having a patch made that simply says, "not a cello", to be promptly applied it to my bass bag.

 

[backline112]

I guess the disappointment or surprise increases when the people are better off and you expect them to know better. My latest, a few weeks ago, entering the lounge on a cruise ship, bass still in its cover: "Is that an oboe?" An OBOE???

A guy saw my electric bass (gig bag) and asked: Is that a trumpet? Seriously, no kidding.

 

[MadMan118]

I got the cello thing today for the first time in a while. Conversation as follows:
Woman to child: "Thats a cello"
Me: "No It's a bass."
Woman to me: "No it's not thats a fish"
Me: "...."

 

[fdeck]

Friday night, someone said: "Nice purse."

 

[Bijoux]

so today I came in the ballroom of the hotel I had to play through the back, and the staff were all from south america. as they see me coming in with my big bag they were all saying, "here comes the Mariachi!"
I thought that was funny. lol