Is your band a mess?

[LBS-bass]

Originals bands tend to not play very much. It's hard to attract an audience with original music and venues like to see people in their place spending money, so I'd suggest that you might look for another option to help you stay busy. It's hard to say what might be going on with this band; one of the byproducts of not working much can be a loss of momentum as idealism gives way to realizations that the originals road is often difficult and not particularly rewarding.

Many people start out convinced that they're going to be the next big thing and when reality sets in, things change.

Your BL might just be losing enthusiasm for it.

I personally don't see the point of putting together a band for a personal project involving music written by one person.

 

[outoftune]

I mean you, with other bands.

I was in a working band that has since broken up. we were at it for 10 years and covered a lot of ground in our area. One of the members, singer/rhythm guitar is moving soon and needed to bail. The area I live is small and it seems covid has killed a few bands. Believe me I am trying to find a cover band to jump into.

 

[Shalto]

Possibly answering a question the OP didn't ask, but you don't always have to formally quit a band that is being too slow. If you want to, you can join another band to keep you occupied while the first band does or does not get organised.

 

[mrcbass]

I'm pretty sure "band" is Latin for "mess". Just part of the territory. However, your situation is not something I'd be interested in continuing with.

I have seriously thought about walking but I just want to play and anything seems better than nothing, but funnily enough we are pretty much at nothing.

Seriously, I have not found that unpleasant is better than nothing. Yes I do put up with some crap with a gigging band, and do play in band that feeds the soul, but may never get out of the garage - but I would not be involved an a terminal garage band that isn't fun.

Granted, this is probably a harder move for original guys vs. cover guys, but really what is the point of doing something that is not paying and is not satisfying?

 

[TheOxRocks]

A few weeks ago at (what I, at least viewed as) a jam session, after lead guitarist has been backbiting, demanding, snide and generally dictatorial:

Him: “Okay, now we’re going to play ‘Margaritiaville’.”

Me: “Hold it. YOU’RE going to play ‘Margaritaville’. I happen to detest that song. I’m not playing it.”

Him: “Well, I’M the leader of this band, I decide our repertoire, and we’re playing ‘Margaritaville’ now.”

Me: “Back the (fornication) up a bit. When did this suddenly become a band? And who elected you the ‘leader’? I sure as hell didn’t get that memo. You sure as (defecation) aren’t in charge of ME. I still haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to stick with this particular outfit, but your attitude is making my decision a real easy one. So you’d better start re-evaluating this whole ‘leader-of-the-band’ stance of yours. And if I say I’m not playing a (fornication)ing song, there isn’t anything short of you pointing an AR-15 at me that’s going to make me play it. Are we understanding each other here?”

We play another song that is not “Margaritaville”. But he’s clearly not happy about it.

I don’t think anybody has ever said “no” to this guy in his life. But if he and I are going to be in a band together, he’d best get used to the idea. Not that I’m not a team player, but I have problems with people with delusions of grandeur who try to lord it over me against my will.

At our next - and so far, last - get-together, he asked me for my frank assessment of this aggregation, knowing that I’ve played in pro bands. He seems to think that we’re ready to go out and play clubs. He wasn’t too happy with my response: “Out of five ‘singers’, we have about one and a half good ones. We have no vocal harmonies worth talking about. Nobody seems to remember what parts they’re supposed to be playing or singing, except me. The keyboard player only plays basic chords, and is about five times louder than he needs to be. I’ve never heard the drummer behind a real kit - only him slamming away on a practice pad. We’d NEVER get invited back if we even tried to do this at an open mic.”

I suspect this might be the reason we - or at least, them with me - haven’t played together in two weeks. Hey, he ASKED.

 

[CB3UK]

If me and the drummer don't click, I don't stay. I've been playing drums and bass both since '98. Bass is my love but I actually started out on drums.

It obviously aids me in communicating with drummers because I speak their language, and I can actually sit down and show them what it is I want if the need arises.

 

[pepj]

That rant at the self professed Band leader is well overdue. I don't know how people invite these situations where someone has to be the Band leader with decisions over all or just assumes it.
I've said before a 'strong lead' in an admin sense is ok, but they are not judge and jury.
Besides, what does he think he is leading?
Does indeed sound a mess. It isnt even a jam band because the band bit doesnt seem to apply.
Think the Ox has it bang on here.

 

[pepj]

If a drummer doesn't get it, I'll not work with them.
Things like kit tune, groove, time and good ears are the basics.

I decline but I have a current date with an average drummer as asked to help by a friend and one gig which turned into 4.
My dilemma was this really isnt appealing...because of drummer first and foremost, but the actual gigs have been ok and I've put a lot of work into the set so the pay returns are acceptable. But, they've asked me to join and I cant say 'yes'. I dont want to wreck their band as they are obliviously ok with their set up. Best leave them to it.

 

[basseux]

Possibly answering a question the OP didn't ask, but you don't always have to formally quit a band that is being too slow. If you want to, you can join another band to keep you occupied while the first band does or does not get organised.

It's possible if you have time for two bands.

But currently the situation is that 3 on 7 members of the band have two bands or more and are clearly slowing us down by not investing enough time learning songs or comming to reharsals.

They will always privilege the band that has an approaching gig, so everything is done last minute, like stuffing two rehearsals a week before and not comming to reharsals two weeks.

Then they say that if we want people invest more time in learning and regarding then you need professionals.

But we are not professionals we just like our hobby and are not unrealistic about how much band we can deal with.

A guy wants to be professional, he thinks about us doing shows, but he isn't learning and comming to reharsals, and also he wants to rearrange tunes, while I advocate more just learn like the record, so we can all be on same page and not waste time talking and not playing.

All that is why prefered not bother with a band and just go to jams when I want to.

 

[pglaser01]

When you say “other music” has been released….

can I ask if this happens to be solo work by your BL?

 

[PJ Muzikmansky]

It’s his baby. I respect that but don’t try to say band when everyone is expendable to make YOUR dream work. Pay me as a player in YOUR project. I brought that up before and it died quick.

He can't manage himself on social media without letting everything get to him.

Sounds like the general consensus is go find something else. I will heed that advice and move along. I will probably leave only because I’m not driving 3 hours for a poorly planned out gig with little prep beforehand. It’s a shame really. The music is good and we were jiving well for a bit but I really think the guy can’t get out of his own way. Which drags us all under. I think I care more about his project and how to attack it than he does. But in one ear and out the other.
Here’s a couple tunes from the (maybe) upcoming release. Enjoy.

I listened to the tunes.

You're a fine player with excellent tone.

You shouldn't have any difficulty getting other gigs.

All the best.

 

[paulears]

I suppose so much depends on what the band leader is for and what they do. In our case, with the end nigh - our band leader wants the band to continue so thinks we need to replace him - the opposite of normal, but we don't want to. We have had a chat. He does the bookings. he does the publicity. He runs the bank account. He also knows everybodies parts inside out. When we come off stage, he'll tell me that in the second verse of a certain song I have to sing an F Sharp, but I must play the F on my bass, because it's me who is adding the Major 7th to the chord - and today I sang an F! He does the same to us all, and it keeps us tight and accurate. In my ears, I don't have any of the drummer's singing, and none of the guitarists guitar - I have no idea what they play or sing at some points and only the band leader does. Our one can be very annoying but he does lead the band. We just do what we need to. If we replaced him, then before two months had passed, we'd be a mess - taking short cuts, or the easy way. If you join a band, you need to be followers, doing your job, taking the money - or a real cooperative with the inevitable disagreements over all things band, or you join as the leader.

Changing from one to the other will always be destructive.

 

[pepj]

I dont actually know any band that 'works' like that...or anything remotely close to it in all my years..

 

[getbent]

A good thing to keep in mind is that, unless some band has you on retainer (aka paying your bills), it doesn't have to be your only musical outlet or the thing where you get all of your musical needs met. Look around, jam with other folks, see what else is out there. If the first band keeps calling, you can assess your schedule and decide if first band is worth doing, or you just say you're busy that night. If you continue to be busy on those nights, they'll get the hint or ask what's up.

None of this is on the level of "Metallica didn't want Jason doing side projects and so he was banished from the kingdom". Life is short, find like-minded people to play with and enjoy it.

 

[outoftune]

When you say “other music” has been released….

can I ask if this happens to be solo work by your BL?

He has been in working with his brother on some songs and recently released one.

I don't actually know any band that 'works' like that...or anything remotely close to it in all my years..

Same.

I bailed from the "band" while the train is stopped. I don't mind being part of someone else's ladder to success but you better pay me to do it. Hopefully I can find something to jump into. If not I'll just jam to tunes in my music room. That's all that is happening anyway.

 

[QORC]

What are YOUR goals in this? Why are you sticking around?

 

[EddiePlaysBass]

I enjoyed those tunes quite a bit!

 

[Bass Viking]

That rant at the self professed Band leader is well overdue. I don't know how people invite these situations where someone has to be the Band leader with decisions over all or just assumes it.

There is a word that fits here: arrogate. As in "He arrogated to himself the right to call the tunes.

 

[Scotland66]

Originals bands tend to not play very much. It's hard to attract an audience with original music and venues like to see people in their place spending money, so I'd suggest that you might look for another option to help you stay busy. It's hard to say what might be going on with this band; one of the byproducts of not working much can be a loss of momentum as idealism gives way to realizations that the originals road is often difficult and not particularly rewarding.

Many people start out convinced that they're going to be the next big thing and when reality sets in, things change.

Your BL might just be losing enthusiasm for it.

I personally don't see the point of putting together a band for a personal project involving music written by one person.

I was asked to play bass for an originals band by a trusted friend of mine. He had been learning and creating lead guitar parts for 25 or more original tunes with another guitar player who is our singer and BL. Before I joined, they added a drummer who is playing in a cover band and gigs 3-4 times a month. We had one gig in 2020 just before Covid hit. We've been practicing the same 25 songs plus learning new tunes the BL and trusted friend have written during the past 2 years. We're up to about 36 originals. The BL says he's been working on us getting gigs but none have materialized and south Texas is open for business. Our drummer's cover band recently lost it's bass player and I auditioned. I told the drummer I didn't want the other guys to know unless I got the job. I also told him I wouldn't be leaving the originals band. At the end of our last practice the BL asked our drummer if they found a replacement yet. I was in disbelief when the BL asked him for a try out. I was even more shocked when the drummer blurted out that I had just auditioned last week. There was this awkward silence, subject changed and then we just packed up and acted as if nothing had been said. I didn't get the job, but I really enjoyed learning part of their set-list for the audition. It's been two weeks and we haven't gotten back together again due to schedule conflicts. I haven't spoken to the drummer about him breaking my trust. I don't know what to think about the BL wanting to play bass for a gigging band and not trying to get us gigs. As I'm reading some of the comments in this thread, I'm beginning to feel like the BL is using us as his pet project. In retrospect, our drummer seems content in jamming and not adding any more gigs to his monthly schedule. I haven't spoken to my trusted friend but I was hoping he'd reach out first. At the moment, I've really lost interest in playing our originals, especially after I got a taste of learning more familiar material. Yes, our band is a mess and I'm searching for answers.

 

[panzerfaust]

is anyone else in a band that is an absolute mess?
So I am in a band that out the gate was active, as we could be in our area for original music, but lately everything has ground to a halt. We recorded, played, practiced, shot a video. All the things bands do. Now? Nothing.
We recorded an album last year that is in the can ready to go but for some reason it doesn’t get released. Leader says he’s working on it. Yet, is releasing stuff in the meantime.
We play occasionally and that’s usually without practice since our drummer moved away and the fill in thought he was the new guy (I thought he was too) got pissed and now doesn’t want to play.
The only gigs we get are 3 hours away for 45 minutes. Band leader says we need to get the music out there. Yet we have an album that’s not released and zero social media presence I don’t mind playing if there is a reason to do so. Something to gig for and promote.
I have seriously thought about walking but I just want to play and anything seems better than nothing, but funnily enough we are pretty much at nothing.
Should I stick around?
Should I just bail while the bailing is good?
Damn my writing skills are crap.

my band is also a mess,..all of member including me not a professional musician,..just playing and so much debate inside it,....yet the band is "my family",...and yeah....we released album.....not amazing one ,,....it has been got mixed review,....but the importance thing is,...where is your top priority ? relation over progress,..or progress over relation ,.... ?