Is your band a mess?

[outoftune]

is anyone else in a band that is an absolute mess?
So I am in a band that out the gate was active, as we could be in our area for original music, but lately everything has ground to a halt. We recorded, played, practiced, shot a video. All the things bands do. Now? Nothing.
We recorded an album last year that is in the can ready to go but for some reason it doesn’t get released. Leader says he’s working on it. Yet, is releasing stuff in the meantime.
We play occasionally and that’s usually without practice since our drummer moved away and the fill in thought he was the new guy (I thought he was too) got pissed and now doesn’t want to play.
The only gigs we get are 3 hours away for 45 minutes. Band leader says we need to get the music out there. Yet we have an album that’s not released and zero social media presence I don’t mind playing if there is a reason to do so. Something to gig for and promote.
I have seriously thought about walking but I just want to play and anything seems better than nothing, but funnily enough we are pretty much at nothing.
Should I stick around?
Should I just bail while the bailing is good?
Damn my writing skills are crap.

 

[Oddly]

I get the sense your BL isn't fully committed to this band and is holding back to see if his other stuff 'takes'.
Playing 3 hours away for 45-minute slots? I'd want to be getting very well-paid for that, and be convinced it was actually having some impact.
Can you all sit down and hash out exactly what's the delay, and get a time-frame nailed down?
I don't know how much say the rest of you can have...in my gigging days I never had a BL as such, most bands were either democracies or support for the main creative force...but you guys in the States seem to have BLs much more often.

Honestly, I'd be looking for something else.

 

[Lobster11]

As @Oddly intimated, it's time for a band meeting. Everyone has to come clean about what they want out of this and what they're willing to put into it. I wouldn't bail until this happened, whether in person or via Zoom.

One other thought: A 3-hour drive for a 45-minute set could be a good investment if you have an album to promote and available for purchase. Otherwise it seems to me just a waste of (expensive!) gas.

 

[flannel cat]

Id leave your band your number and get out and play, If you wanna play you have to look out for you, but dont burn the bridge unless you want to.

 

[buldog5151bass]

Your present band isn't doing anything. No reason you can't look around, and play with other people's le, without giving notice

The first rule of wing walking - never let go of a support until you have a hand on another one.

 

[outoftune]

As @Oddly One other thought: A 3-hour drive for a 45-minute set could be a good investment if you have an album to promote and available for purchase. Otherwise it seems to me just a waste of (expensive!) gas.

I whole heartedly agree. If we have a product I’m all about getting out there and promoting.
Some great advice here and I will take all and digest. I truly need to find a different gif that has everyone’s best interest in mind. Not just the band leader. And I say band leader because he started this thing but there has been numerous lineup changes. I am starting to understand why.

 

[pepj]

My friend had same problem, they had some backing and promises but at the end they werent working.
He canvassed opinion from friends and had an offer from another. That didn't have the same sort of promised/perceived profile but he took the new offer and said to the other guys, call when there is something needing doing.
Sitting around and doing nothing is no good to people who want to play.

If it were me, I'd hook up some covers and retain an interest in the originals. You dont need to leave at this point..its not taking up any time anyway.

Use it or lose it...

 

[paulears]

Not really the kind of mess you all mean but we are in such a mess, we’re stopping. My really good friend who started the band 20+ years ago has been getting I’ll, and covid messed him up badly. He was in hospital and while the doc stood there his lungs collapsed. They saved his life, only to discover after the tests that he has maybe a couple of months and that’s it. No question of even thinking about the band, but he’s trying to get everything sorted in a stupidly short time. All the silly band stuff means nothing. He can’t play and he can’t talk much, let alone sing. All those little niggles in the band just mean nothing now.

 

[Oddly]

^
Puts things in perspective, for sure. That's a lousy situation, and I wish your friend all the best.

 

[lfmn16]

You’re right; that’s a mess. Start looking for a new band today. You can’t do anything about the time you’ve already wasted, but you don’t have to waste any more time.

 

[Skillet]

In this day and age, No social media?

 

[BobDeRosa]

Your BL seems to be a "leader" in name only. He obviously lacks management skills. I agree with the idea of a band meeting. Maybe you'll find that he really doesn't want the responsibilities of leader and will willingly give up that role to a member who's better equipped to handle it.

 

[Das Jugghead]

is anyone else in a band that is an absolute mess?
So I am in a band that out the gate was active, as we could be in our area for original music, but lately everything has ground to a halt. We recorded, played, practiced, shot a video. All the things bands do. Now? Nothing.
We recorded an album last year that is in the can ready to go but for some reason it doesn’t get released. Leader says he’s working on it. Yet, is releasing stuff in the meantime.
We play occasionally and that’s usually without practice since our drummer moved away and the fill in thought he was the new guy (I thought he was too) got pissed and now doesn’t want to play.
The only gigs we get are 3 hours away for 45 minutes. Band leader says we need to get the music out there. Yet we have an album that’s not released and zero social media presence I don’t mind playing if there is a reason to do so. Something to gig for and promote.
I have seriously thought about walking but I just want to play and anything seems better than nothing, but funnily enough we are pretty much at nothing.
Should I stick around?
Should I just bail while the bailing is good?
Damn my writing skills are crap.

Being in a band for the sake of being in a band is as self-destructive as being in a relationship so that you are not alone. Not the best analogy but you get my drift.

Your situation sounds all-too familiar to me - been there done that. I wasted years trying to make things work in bands simply because I (admittedly) was afraid if I left that particular band I would be unable to get in another band. Truth be told there are as many great bands out there to be in as there are lousy. I wouldn't waste another second in the band you are in. At the very least start jamming with other musicians and networking. Things tend to fall into place when you let them.

 

[boombloom]

I read your post a couple times. "I just want to play." If that's what you want, then play! I love to play. I don't care about recording or gigs or any of that. I'm happy in a living room or rehearsal space as long as the groove is there. I love the connection between the musicians when it's all going well. I embrace the role of the bassist and I work hard to make sure everyone else is sounding their best. The rest of it happens when I play with people who want paying gigs and to record and all that. I consider playing out and studio time byproducts of playing but they're not my goals. I bet you can find great opportunities to play if that's all you really want.

 

[getrhythm]

Travel 3 hours for a 45 minute gig? I wouldn't waste MY time.

 

[DrThumpenstein]

Music, money, hang.

if you guys aren’t practicing or playing, sounds like there’s no music or hang and you’ve already said there’s no money. What is the motivation to stay in this band versus looking around? One advantage of being a decent bass player is that you can usually find work. Sounds like it’s time to have a band meeting if you want to try to work it out with this band, or to move on. Should you decide to leave, I agree with the advice above not to burn any bridges in case they do get their act together. That is, if the situation was satisfactory in the earlier days of the band, which seems to be the case.

 

[Smooth_bass88]

You're a bass player, the most in-demand of musicians. Find other gigs!

 

[basseux]

I read your post a couple times. "I just want to play." If that's what you want, then play! I love to play. I don't care about recording or gigs or any of that. I'm happy in a living room or rehearsal space as long as the groove is there. I love the connection between the musicians when it's all going well. I embrace the role of the bassist and I work hard to make sure everyone else is sounding their best. The rest of it happens when I play with people who want paying gigs and to record and all that. I consider playing out and studio time byproducts of playing but they're not my goals. I bet you can find great opportunities to play if that's all you really want.

I was about to write the exact same message.

What matters for me is taking pleasure in the groove, and this is supposed to happen regardless of it's a show a rehearsal or a jam.

That's why I don't understand people that don't work tunes for reharsals, and only do so if there is a show comming in the next week.

 

[pepj]

Your BL seems to be a "leader" in name only. He obviously lacks management skills. I agree with the idea of a band meeting. Maybe you'll find that he really doesn't want the responsibilities of leader and will willingly give up that role to a member who's better equipped to handle it.

'Band leader'...? in what sense?
The only thing a band probably needs is someone to take a lead....like be the obvious first point contact... and that is appreciated, but not only their territory.
Everything else is by consensus and they need to be canvassing opinion so not to speak out of turn.
Band members should be experienced enough to take on a task..getting gigs, run media, website so not dump all on one person.
The gig money is an equal split unless a one off occasion warrants something different but otherwise members are equal.
If someone is to be fired, then the band members need to decide that collectively.

If the band is definitely one persons baby then they need to be paying good rates/min fees.

 

[Tim Grant]

Are the potential rewards going be greater to you by putting your energy into it? Rewards can be intrinsic (feel good) or extrinsic (money/ product). If so, ask the BL how you can help. Bands don't just start themselves with good music without any leg work from someone. Maybe the BL just needs help getting things off the ground. If you don't think it's worth your time then walk. Do what makes you happy. Good luck.