Hi all,
I'm aware there are probably a million threads like this but here I go anyway. I tend to ramble so I do apologize for the rather lengthy piece of text.
Short version:
Our drummer doesn't seem to put in as much effort as we'd like her to but either doesn't seem to realize it or doesn't want to face the issue. What would you do?
Long version:
A few months ago a guy (pianist) from school asked me if I wanted to be in a new band he wanted to form, along with another (female) classmate who would be the drummer. I accepted the offer and since then we've been able to (tentatively) record a few songs, so no problems there.
The "problem" with the drummer is that she doesn't seem as motivated as the pianist and me. We had exams before the Xmas break so she didn't have time for rehearsal that week but she said we should do an extra rehearsal or two during the break. She proposed to get together on two consecutive days, but cancelled last minute (half an hour or so before I left) because all of a sudden she had other things to do on both days. Last Friday was the first time in a month where we were all present.
Every time she blew it off, I did go because I like to play everything through on a regular basis, but because of her absence, the vibe isn't as good as it used to be during the first few rehearsals. The pianist and me have become really good friends and we have a pretty strange sense of humor, and it seems she isn't "in the zone" as much (jokes she doesn't understand or doesn't find funny and such). Even at school we don't talk as much as we used to, so I'm getting the impression she thinks we're angry with her and/or she has an issue of her own but doesn't want to tell us.
On top of everything, she isn't the best drummer in the world, which on its own isn't a big issue but it does mean she's often struggling to play relatively basic drum lines. It's just that the pianist and me are set on really getting something going (competitions, gigs, albums,..) whereas she just isn't putting in as much effort as we'd like her to, even though she told me she wanted to live off playing music. When we told her we thought it was a shame that we hadn't rehearsed in a month, she said that it's normal not to get together for several weeks.
There's another drummer in our class who's very skilled and with whom we get along great. We've seen him play and can tell he would be a good addition to our band (if he'd want to join) but we don't want to backstab our current drummer by kicking her out and immediately replacing her with someone she's also friends with.
So what would be the best thing to do:
-kick her out and ask the other drummer if he's interested?
----> will most likely damage/ruin our friendship
-kick her out and ask someone outside our friend circle to replace her?
----> will probably hurt our friendship but hopefully less than the above option
-see how it goes for a few more weeks and then make a decision?
----> could mean we're still nowhere further than where we are now
I'm aware there are probably a million threads like this but here I go anyway. I tend to ramble so I do apologize for the rather lengthy piece of text.
Short version:
Our drummer doesn't seem to put in as much effort as we'd like her to but either doesn't seem to realize it or doesn't want to face the issue. What would you do?
Long version:
A few months ago a guy (pianist) from school asked me if I wanted to be in a new band he wanted to form, along with another (female) classmate who would be the drummer. I accepted the offer and since then we've been able to (tentatively) record a few songs, so no problems there.
The "problem" with the drummer is that she doesn't seem as motivated as the pianist and me. We had exams before the Xmas break so she didn't have time for rehearsal that week but she said we should do an extra rehearsal or two during the break. She proposed to get together on two consecutive days, but cancelled last minute (half an hour or so before I left) because all of a sudden she had other things to do on both days. Last Friday was the first time in a month where we were all present.
Every time she blew it off, I did go because I like to play everything through on a regular basis, but because of her absence, the vibe isn't as good as it used to be during the first few rehearsals. The pianist and me have become really good friends and we have a pretty strange sense of humor, and it seems she isn't "in the zone" as much (jokes she doesn't understand or doesn't find funny and such). Even at school we don't talk as much as we used to, so I'm getting the impression she thinks we're angry with her and/or she has an issue of her own but doesn't want to tell us.
On top of everything, she isn't the best drummer in the world, which on its own isn't a big issue but it does mean she's often struggling to play relatively basic drum lines. It's just that the pianist and me are set on really getting something going (competitions, gigs, albums,..) whereas she just isn't putting in as much effort as we'd like her to, even though she told me she wanted to live off playing music. When we told her we thought it was a shame that we hadn't rehearsed in a month, she said that it's normal not to get together for several weeks.
There's another drummer in our class who's very skilled and with whom we get along great. We've seen him play and can tell he would be a good addition to our band (if he'd want to join) but we don't want to backstab our current drummer by kicking her out and immediately replacing her with someone she's also friends with.
So what would be the best thing to do:
-kick her out and ask the other drummer if he's interested?
----> will most likely damage/ruin our friendship
-kick her out and ask someone outside our friend circle to replace her?
----> will probably hurt our friendship but hopefully less than the above option
-see how it goes for a few more weeks and then make a decision?
----> could mean we're still nowhere further than where we are now
