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It finally snapped

S

SOA_bassist

May 10, 2006
491
3
#1
Here it is as short as possible.

My bro has a learning disability which gives him trouble with reading, writing, and math. Other than that he is very smart.

He is taking writing, reading, and math courses in a 2 year college. He is passing his reading and math but not his writing. He does not understand many of the concepts. When i try to help him he wont listen to me and he will just watch tv. The day before he has to go to school ( he has done this 4 or 5 times so far ) he will say to me at 2 or 3 AM " Hey, can you do this for me? its too hard. " and he will hand me about 30 or 40 work sheets and anywhere from 2 to 4 writing assignments. They only take me and hour or so but I do them. I do them only because the one person that can help him and that he will listen to is my dad, and my dad does not like to help anyone with homework. My dad used to do all of my brothers high school homework instead of explaining things to him just to get him out of the room so my dad could continue reading or sleeping. WHenever I tried to explain something to my brother both of my parents would yell at me.

Well now my brother cant stand asking our dad for help because he knows what is coming " not now, i'm trying to read/sleep ", and I have finally told him I am not doing his work anymore, it is bad for him and I am having trouble keeping my grades up ( trying to maintain a 3.5+ GPA and I teach myself ) and I have to tutor my nephew whom seems to have the same torubles in math as my brother does.

My bro and I got into a fight about this and my dad got in the middle of it. I told my dad " it is your fault. You always did his work for him instead of helping him with the concepts, you wouldnt let me help him, and now he doesnt know any of this stuff when he really needs it. " Instead of speaking about the problem he just said things like " you have no friends " and " you are acting like mom, how she gets in everyone's business ".

It turned into a huge fight and now my bro has no one to help him. He still wont listen to me ( thats another long story which ill explain later if anyone needs to know ) and I know this will all turn out to be my fault ( in my family I am the one to blame for everything, no bs. If you need to know what I mean ill explain later ).


So a brief review
- bro needs help in school but no one will/can help him
- not going to do his work anymore
- I will be blamed for everything

anyone got any advice of any kind? :help:
 
#3
haha, my family + counseling = never

we are fairly poor, my mom already is going to divorce my dad when I turn 18 ( she has been counting down the days since i was 15 and has been blaming me for the divorce ) and my dad is usually a good man but all he does now is work, do a few chores, watch UFC, read, go to sleep

its pretty odd... and im very confused with what to do about my brother ( hes going to need these courses so he can do better on his own when he moves out, which wont be for a while, but it will happen someday ) and I know without help he wont get enough out of these courses to help

also, he cant get tutoring at school. They charge you to get tutoring, and like I said, we are poor. If my dad didnt run into some money by getting 1/4 of his finger cut off I wouldnt have my amp... ill put it this way... it took my parents 3 years to pay me back $200 so I could buy a bass...
 
#4
What kind of 2 year college makes you pay for tutoring? I don't know man. It's a bit late for that now. If he has to retake a class... well, it's better than going on to the next class and being expected to have already know the material.

I know what you mean about the divorce thing, too... my parents are a lot like that. Suprised when you said that, actually...

Can't he apply for some waiver or something on account of your family's income?
 
#5
he can but he and the rest of my family are lazy, and unless it gets you money in your pocket they wont bother with it.

right now my dad just did almost all of my brothers homework and my mom is screaming at me because im not helping my nephew fast enough and every few minutes she walks in to yell at him for something completely irrelevant to the homework lol i got a crazy family
 
#8
Hey SOA,

I don't really have any advice, but I teach English in a strugling urban district. A lot of my students go on to community college with writing skills that aren't up to snuff.

Looks like he's doing the classic avoidance behaviors-- he's a bad writer and wants to avoid writing at all costs.

If you can keep the emotional sparks from flying, you might be his best bet. Tutoring writing is not all that hard.

Give your bro some conidence building positive comments while he works, and just get him to say what he needs to write aloud, then have him write it. You can help with eliminating slang &c., but make him think of the replies on the worksheets and make him write them.

Of course, this is if you can scrape together the time... sometimes some things come before music...
 
#10
This is going to sound harsh but, Get your education done so you can get the hell out of there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My dad was an ass to me as a teenager, worse than most, I had witnesses. I joined the army as soon as I could to get out of that situation. It was the best thing I ever did.

My dad and I are pretty good friends now and we have talked about the past , he has sincerely apologized and I am over it.
 
#11
All I can say is that you have a messed up family. What I will say is that there are a lot of organizations out there to help people with learning disabilities. If he is classifiable, he should be able to get all the assistance he needs. As for you, you need to get your education done so you can get out of that house. I'm going to put it to you straight, your parents are screwed up people. Unfortunately, people who reproduce aren't automatically parents. I know you at least have some realization of this, so don't repeat history in your own life.

So, take some time to give your brother tutoring if you can spare it without ignoring your own education. Don't do his work for him anymore. It's better to fail a bit in college than to fall on your face in a career.
 
#12
thanks for all of the support guys. a lot of what has been said i have thought of or known, some i havent. that which i have known, well it just makes things seem easier when i know someone else sees them the same way i do.

oh and my bro is going into something about computers, idk. he knows how to fix them and how to build them and he wants to make a living off of that. like i said, he isnt stupid, just has trouble with reading, writing, and math.

eh idk where this is going all i gotta say is ty for the support

well i gtg take care =-p =-)
 
#13
okay, from a (in some senses) learning disabled person myself-

almost all disabilities come with unique strengths. I, for example, have a form of autism, and while I'm a freakishly fast learner of most things, I'm almost clueless socially. so, the important questions here are:

-does your brother have a diagnosable disability (asperger's syndrome, ADHD, dyscalcula, dyslexia, etc.)?

and, most important,
-What is he exceptionally talented at?

If his talent is something that can lead to a sucessful career and be implemented without further study, I would go so far as to suggest he drop the course and focus on stuff he'll use. If a gifted person is given the ability to work with one of thier interests, it's amazing what they'll do. If he's not the type for academic based courses, which is quite likely, suggest practical based courses to him, and he can find something useful.

If someone has a neurodiverse condition, thier family can be either the solution or the cause of all thier problems. At this point, it is rather obvious that yours isn't helping him out much. That in itself supports that he should get a job sooner, rather than later.

A computer repair expert doesn't need to write essays. A computer repair expert needs to repair computers. Education for education's sake is not for everyone.
 

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