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Jive and Maki's Guide to Enjoying College

#81
MakiSupaStar said:
It is. I flew threw it in about a week. It has a forward by William Burroughs too.
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yeah, i'll definately check it out.

i've also decided i'm going to go ahead and start writing the basic guidelines, the foundain if you will, for this hobo mafia (i' decided i'll most likely follow a organizational structure of a mafia organization, just because i've always been fascinated with mafias). so i'm going to write about the basic code of conduct and organizational structure and i'll keep you guys updated.
 
#82
JNowiski said:
college is a waste of time. with the current economical condition and the global financial crisis, i've decided once i'm free from the burden of serving the government, that i'm going to start a hobo gang. Not just any hobo gang mind you...But the biggest hobo gang this world has ever seen. once everyone has lost there jobs, they will have no choice but to join MY hobo gang or try and survive in a world that is run by my hobo gang. Sure, there will be rival hobo gangs, And that's exactly why i'm going to start my hobo gang as soon as i possibly can. so if anyone here wants to go ahead and join the ranks of my hobo gang, just let me know, maybe it'll earn you a spot in my hobo officer's corps. and YOU could be my right hand man. of course, if you're the bigger, not so bright type, i will need Goons that can take care of the dirty work (ie: dealing with the people that don't join my hobo gang). so yeah, that's basically it.


...out.
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I'm charming and manipulative. I think we should work something out.
 
#85
MakiSupaStar said:
Before you do any writing you'll need to understand what it means to be a yegg.
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true that, that book will be a big help in understanding hobo criminal society, although my gang will be more about survival (obviously we might have to do some pretty shady thing to rise about the hardships, but who won't right?). i don't want to hijack maki and jives threads, so i think any furthur discussion should be discussed in PM form or just at a later date.

obviously maki, you'll have an honorary spot reserved for you since your referencing of this book.
 
#88
cheezewiz said:
Two words. Freshman Girls. They are away from Mom and Dad for the first time, aching to assert their adulthood and independence. That can work to your benefit.
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Ignore this if her dad is in Law Enforcement.:D

Wiz, you do realize you have what like two years till your daughter's in the freshman dorm?:hiding:

Great thread guys, somewhere there is a pudgy 51 year old living vicariously thru Maki's college exports.:cool:
 
#90
I demand that this be stickied. I fear for my enjoyment of college because I plan on majoring in Engineering (either Mechanical or Electrical) and every account I've heard was the equivalent of signing away your right to have any kind of fun. So I want to be able to refer to this whenever necessary!
 
#95
steve21 said:
Most student health places offer free condoms.

And even if they don't, it's pretty much a worthwhile investment.
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Won't the school nurse cut you off after a point? I guess that were that barter tip come in...

school nurse:"Maki, I already gave you 2 boxes this week. We need to save some condoms for the other boys at the college."
Maki: "I'll trade you 200 Marlborough miles and my last 2 weeks of coupons from the Sunday papers, which include a $1 off on a the large bag of meow mix AND $.35 off Viva Italian salad dressing."
school nurse: "Well, ok, but this is the last time!"
 
#96
RS said:
Maki, care to share your tips for avoiding STDs and/or unplanned pregnancies while in college?
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First off, choose somewhat wisely. If the chick looks like a crack addict, then don't put your johnson in it. Yes, this is a form of profiling. Profiling is necessary when your johnson is involved. However, there are two types of chicks that are generally safe (notice I say generally - there are always exceptions) - Asian chicks and fat chicks. Asian chicks tend to be studious, and often haven't really explored their sexual side too much before college. (Let's take a moment while Maki daydreams about this for a little while). Ah, good times. Anyway, Asian chicks are generally a beautiful untapped resource. Fat chicks, well, fat chicks are the chicks nobody wants, so in a sense they are also clean. Asian chicks are what you hook up with sober, fat chicks are what you hook up with when you get too drunk. A caveat, These are the extremes of Maki's spectrum. You're personal spectrum might be a little different. All other chicks fall between these two extremes.

So let's say, you've eliminated the crack whores out of the crowd, and you've managed to talk your way up to the point of entry. Make sure you wear a jimmy. Yes. Slow down. Stop. Put a jimmy on. I like to have the chick do it. I've found some very skilled girls in this department, especially when they put it on with no hands. ;). Personally, if it's going to happen, I like to tear the condom package before we get started. This makes the application of said condom much easier. Nothing worse that wrestling with a stubborn condom package when your hands are all slick with the girl you're about to score with. Suddenly you're frustrated and sometimes, if your drunk your johnson might lose interest in the whole prospect and go to sleep before you do. Just take care of that first tear before you get started. As soon as you start kissing the chick, tear the condom package. Put it in your pocket. Even if you don't score and get to use it, so what? You've wasted a condom. No big deal. They're disposable. Most colleges give them away for free at the health center. Grab a handful as you walk by. Nobody likes using them, but it beats not having sex at all.

Second. NEVER finish inside a chick. This can be fun. Get creative. A well placed shot is well... money. This is a practice I carried well into my married life. In fact, I'm surprised that my wife got pregnant considering. Before any of you wisecrackers start making comments, yes, I'm 100 percent positive that my son is mine. When you are done, take a hearty pee, and make sure you watch the condom go down the toilet. It's rare, but there are pyscho chicks out there that might pick it out of the toilet and use it's contents to trap for child support. Tom Lykos recommends carry tabasco sauce for this very occasion, but I think watching the condom disappear down the toilet is sufficient.

But most of all remember, quantity over quality. It's all quality in college. Lower your standards and marvel at all the possibilities.
 
#97
MakiSupaStar said:
Fat chicks, well, fat chicks are the chicks nobody wants, so in a sense they are also clean.
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Bad call. What it means is that they lower their standards. And if they get around (which often times they do because they think they can make up for physical shortcomings by being easy) then we're talking far from clean. The downside to being an "unproud" man is that you're likely going where many men have gone before.
 
#98
TheBigO said:
Bad call. What it means is that they lower their standards. And if they get around (which often times they do because they think they can make up for physical shortcomings by being easy) then we're talking far from clean. The downside to being an "unproud" man is that you're likely going where many men have gone before.
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Yeah, I actually agree. Fat chicks are really all over the map. Because while I know examples like I pointed out, I also know examples like you're talking about. So I might officially amend my statement to just include chicks that are kind of nerdy and homely which often goes side by side with fat. :p
 
#100
RS said:
Won't the school nurse cut you off after a point? I guess that were that barter tip come in...

school nurse:"Maki, I already gave you 2 boxes this week. We need to save some condoms for the other boys at the college."
Maki: "I'll trade you 200 Marlborough miles and my last 2 weeks of coupons from the Sunday papers, which include a $1 off on a the large bag of meow mix AND $.35 off Viva Italian salad dressing."
school nurse: "Well, ok, but this is the last time!"
Click to expand...

I think the nurse would rather hand out condoms to you than put a swap up your pee hole. I don't know what it's like at your school, but in our health office, also student services, and other high traffic areas, condoms were there for the taking in giant bowls. You just grabbed a few as you walking by. There wasn't nurse there to discuss things with you.

However, if there was I would imagine it would go a little more like this.

school nurse:"Maki, I already gave you 2 boxes this week. We need to save some condoms for the other boys at the college."
Maki: "Ok fine, I'll use a few on you too, but this is the last time!"

;)
 

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