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Just got asked to leave the band...
- Thread starter recreate.me
- Start date
It doesn't even have to be people with decent jobs; most of my bandmates are college students and I've been playing with two of them since they were in high school.
Tough one. I've been on both sides and was single parent to boot so I had to stick with the day job.
I can tell you this, though... I'm older now, own my own business, play better than I ever did, am still alive, live indoors, have health insurance, don't have to play weddings, have basses I could only dream about when I was playing for a living... and don't regret a thing.
A lot of my friends who chose the other path can't say half of those things.
Life is what you make it.
I can tell you this, though... I'm older now, own my own business, play better than I ever did, am still alive, live indoors, have health insurance, don't have to play weddings, have basses I could only dream about when I was playing for a living... and don't regret a thing.
A lot of my friends who chose the other path can't say half of those things.
Life is what you make it.
+1
I'm not exactly in the same situation as the OP. I'm working on a bachelor's degree in computer engineering right now, and I plan to get my master's degree later down the road. The advice above has been my reasoning for a while now. It's like you get to have some of both worlds. IMO, there just aren't as many options without a decent day job to fall back on if things don't go through.
- Sep 4, 2010
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+1, great post
Music is there for you to make something of, and makes it possible to give something back to the world.
-I have a day job, health insurance, and the only music I have to do is the music I want to do.
-After I was kicked out of my no-name band in Europe I moved to NYC. Since then my music has appeared on 4 very well received cd's, and my arrangement of 'Strange Fruit' was performed by the Duke Ellington Orchestra in a sold out Apollo. I would have NEVER dreamt of such a thing happening, back in the day.
-I sold all my basses a year ago, and regrettably the money went to bills. then a buddy gives me a bass he had sitting around the house for years. Comes out to be the best sounding bass I ever owned in 30 years.
Karma works! keep moving and be open to the future-you just never know.
pbd
Commercial User
bummer, when I was 19 the band I was in left me to join another player. They went on a big "tour", turned out to be a couple of bar gigs that never paid, they got stranded in Florida and had to beg a ride back to Michigan.
Life happens and everyone has to make decisions. Getting your degree and a job has more certainty than being in the band but I don't blame them for wanting to "give it a shot". Sometimes it works out and they might make it, might not.
don't hold it against them, start looking for other guys to jam with, there are lots of people around who are looking to play and have different commitments levels, you should be able to find a match
my 2 cents,
Todd
Life happens and everyone has to make decisions. Getting your degree and a job has more certainty than being in the band but I don't blame them for wanting to "give it a shot". Sometimes it works out and they might make it, might not.
don't hold it against them, start looking for other guys to jam with, there are lots of people around who are looking to play and have different commitments levels, you should be able to find a match
my 2 cents,
Todd
Playing music for a ( so called ) living, is like a pyramid, lots at the bottom, not much real estate at the pointy top bit. Also lonely there. Regards.
I think that we tend to romanticize certain careers and not others. Who is to say that the OP should not "give it a shot" in engineering? In the next five years, he might have his great discovery, breakthrough, invention, or business idea, while his mind is still racing with all of the stuff that he learned in school, and he isn't distracted by the growing accumulation of adult responsibilities.
Funny thing, I've been looking for work for 2 years now and have found nothing despite being qualified and a great interviewee. I gave up on finding a 'real job' and have focused on music and am now making a great part time living off of it - and it's in an originals band, no less.
As a college kid soon to be entering the workforce full time, I'm actually going to spend the next 3 years focusing on music because there is more potential there for me than in the current job market. And this is coming from a double major in Marketing and Supply Chain with a 3.5 GPA, previous work experience, and an internship in my field under my belt.
jive1
Commercial User
Hey, you're like me almost 20 years ago. I graduated with a degree in business with a 3.6 GPA into a recession. (Sound familiar?) Job prospects were slim, and I had family issues, legal and financial problems, so I moved to Colorado.
Job prospects were bad out there as well. I got a full-time job while I got my music going. Things happened at work, I resigned and did music full-time. I was playing about 8-12 times a month and I was barely getting by. But it was OK, because I was barely getting by before. I didn't make much money, didn't get any savings, had no health insurance, but aside from the health insurance, my standard of living wasn't very different than before - crappy.
I did this for almost 2 years, and I did a bunch of searching, stopping and starting on various things in the meantime. At the end of my full-time stretch, the .com craze was happening and I found myself in a good job afterwards. Oddly, if it weren't for being in a band, I may not have had the skills to do the job as I learned a bunch of computer skills to build websites, promote the band, etc. which proved valuable in getting hired.
It's been more than 10 years since then, and even though I'm not playing out as much, I'm getting more per gig. I'm better on the business end, and I'm more stable financially which helps for getting your band promoted and equipped. I like my job for the most part, and it lets me do the things I really love - my family, my shop, and my music.
Your plan has some risks in it, but it doesn't mean it can't work. I'm a living example.
Sure you can. You just...haven't.
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Maybe you aren't looking hard enough. My girlfriends company is looking for a marketing manger. Starts at about 60k. It's out there.jmattbassplaya said:
I have a story that is similar in several ways, and I think I know how you feel. My story has a happy ending; yours can, too.
After putting 2 years into a startup, I was pressured to quit just as the show was getting up to par and the bookings were starting. I was very disappointed, and for a little while I even pondered quitting music altogether.
Turns out it was the best thing that could have happened. A few weeks after leaving the startup group that was drifting into conflicts about money and control, I wound up finding and joining a long-established group of unbelievably fantastic folks, who care about music and people, and could not care less about money.
It is a fit in every respect: gig schedule, practice schedule, work ethic, personal style, musical taste, and talent level. They've got 150 cover songs, and a handful of originals, and I think I like every single song on the list. They've got a local following...
I am still learning how to say "we" instead of "they," but the others have put years into this, I am just the New Guy, and I feel as lucky as Ringo Starr right about now. I hope it won't be long before you find something like this, too.
After putting 2 years into a startup, I was pressured to quit just as the show was getting up to par and the bookings were starting. I was very disappointed, and for a little while I even pondered quitting music altogether.
Turns out it was the best thing that could have happened. A few weeks after leaving the startup group that was drifting into conflicts about money and control, I wound up finding and joining a long-established group of unbelievably fantastic folks, who care about music and people, and could not care less about money.
It is a fit in every respect: gig schedule, practice schedule, work ethic, personal style, musical taste, and talent level. They've got 150 cover songs, and a handful of originals, and I think I like every single song on the list. They've got a local following...
I am still learning how to say "we" instead of "they," but the others have put years into this, I am just the New Guy, and I feel as lucky as Ringo Starr right about now. I hope it won't be long before you find something like this, too.
I wasn't asked to leave, but I had to quit a band for a new job/path before. I gave the group a month's notice and even trained their replacement bassist. All of those guys remain some of my closest friends.
My band just had to let our keyboardist go for the same reason.
He actually saw it coming because we started to book out of town gigs and talked of doing mini tours of the Ski towns this winter. He was the only one of us not self employed so he just couldn't pull it off. He made it easy and just bowed out without me having to make that phone call. It was a bummer for us as well but these things happen all the time.
Now I have been in the OP's shoes a few times. I worked hard on a project for a few years that just kinda all fell apart and living in a small town means theres not always a ton of folks to play with. So what I did and what I'm recommending the OP does is buy some toys. I bought a $75 keyboard, a Boomerang, and a bass effects pedal. I've learned enough basic chords/scales on the keyboard to write entire songs using its patches. Drums,guitar,horns, synth.. and a million other sounds right at your fingertips. Then I can pick up the Wick and play over what I just wrote, played the way Iwant, til I'm blue in the face...And believe me that can happen. I'm kicking myself for not doing this ten years ago. The best part is that using the boomerang is like playing to a click track of your own beats and notes. your time will get better while you hunt out new folks to play with and you might even have some of your own original music to share with them.
He actually saw it coming because we started to book out of town gigs and talked of doing mini tours of the Ski towns this winter. He was the only one of us not self employed so he just couldn't pull it off. He made it easy and just bowed out without me having to make that phone call. It was a bummer for us as well but these things happen all the time.
Now I have been in the OP's shoes a few times. I worked hard on a project for a few years that just kinda all fell apart and living in a small town means theres not always a ton of folks to play with. So what I did and what I'm recommending the OP does is buy some toys. I bought a $75 keyboard, a Boomerang, and a bass effects pedal. I've learned enough basic chords/scales on the keyboard to write entire songs using its patches. Drums,guitar,horns, synth.. and a million other sounds right at your fingertips. Then I can pick up the Wick and play over what I just wrote, played the way Iwant, til I'm blue in the face...And believe me that can happen. I'm kicking myself for not doing this ten years ago. The best part is that using the boomerang is like playing to a click track of your own beats and notes. your time will get better while you hunt out new folks to play with and you might even have some of your own original music to share with them.
gnc: you hit the nail on the head. I wasn't willing to play russian roulette with my life. Others are, and I think that's great, as it is a personal choice.
My choice ended up working for me.
Would I rather be a multi-millionaire rockstar than a six digit salaried civil engineer? Sure! Sounds fun! But I chose the path that had better odds for success. I guess I'm just not as brave as some other folks.
When I see someone who beats the odds and makes it big, I say "good for them!" I like to see people succeed.
Just for kicks, the other day I stood up on top of my desk in my office and cranked some Behemoth and spun my head around so that my hair was spinning in sync with the music, but then I started to get a headache so I sat back down and went back to my engineering work. Hmmm....maybe I made the right choice after all.
HAPPENED TO ME TWICE...
1) In mid '70's I joined an all originals prog band. We rehearsed 3 times per week on 6 songs..had to be perfect. When I joined, I told them up front, that I had 2 more years of payments, before I was free. All but one guitarist lived with parents. We practiced at his house. When time to play out, we learned covers and interjected the originals. A year later, I was suddenly told that the band was hitting the road and I had a choice to make.
I was stunned by their decision and ultimatum. As I had nothing to fall back on, I stayed behind. Few months later, I ran into my replacement at the Mall. They couldn't make it..had to return. They tried harder, invested more $$ into more and more equipment. Clubs told them ...Never enough... Most $$ earned went into more PA, truck, lights, a few crew personnel.
Greg Curbow..RIP.. was my second replacement.
Later, they even went to England..came back with their tails between their legs.
Although I did see them at the Agora; warmed up for Ramones.
I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION FOR ME IN THE LONG RUN.
2) 2 years later......No bills.... I auditioned for the back-up band for one of may versions of Drifters. We're Leaving for our European tour in 1 month!! I Turned in my 2 weeks notice at work, when they called and said they found another bass player who was more familiar with the material. A little voice in my head told me to let this band go. Fortunately our secretery never turned in my notice. She returned it to me and I tore up.
2 months later, I ran into the keyboard player. I asked him how Europe was. he said, "Oh yeah,that... Tour got cancelled".
I feel for OP but I KNOW other gigs will come..and go. Always do the right thing FOR YOU; let your conscience be your guide is my advice.
1) In mid '70's I joined an all originals prog band. We rehearsed 3 times per week on 6 songs..had to be perfect. When I joined, I told them up front, that I had 2 more years of payments, before I was free. All but one guitarist lived with parents. We practiced at his house. When time to play out, we learned covers and interjected the originals. A year later, I was suddenly told that the band was hitting the road and I had a choice to make.
I was stunned by their decision and ultimatum. As I had nothing to fall back on, I stayed behind. Few months later, I ran into my replacement at the Mall. They couldn't make it..had to return. They tried harder, invested more $$ into more and more equipment. Clubs told them ...Never enough... Most $$ earned went into more PA, truck, lights, a few crew personnel.
Greg Curbow..RIP.. was my second replacement.
Later, they even went to England..came back with their tails between their legs.
Although I did see them at the Agora; warmed up for Ramones.
I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION FOR ME IN THE LONG RUN.
2) 2 years later......No bills.... I auditioned for the back-up band for one of may versions of Drifters. We're Leaving for our European tour in 1 month!! I Turned in my 2 weeks notice at work, when they called and said they found another bass player who was more familiar with the material. A little voice in my head told me to let this band go. Fortunately our secretery never turned in my notice. She returned it to me and I tore up.
2 months later, I ran into the keyboard player. I asked him how Europe was. he said, "Oh yeah,that... Tour got cancelled".
I feel for OP but I KNOW other gigs will come..and go. Always do the right thing FOR YOU; let your conscience be your guide is my advice.
I suppose I bailed on my career in music as well. Typical story... Band broke up, couldn't find another one I believed in, wife was preggers... Decided it was time to make music part time and got a job.
Now that my kids are older, I can take music a tad more seriously. In getting back into the scene, I found there's a few guys still around from back in the 80s that tried for the brass ring. Some got pretty close, but most are all 60 and broke with day jobs. The only ones who made any money are the ones who wrote the songs, and even they're not rich. It turns out nobody I had ever played with on a regular basis wound up rich from music.
At the time I was a tad bitter giving up the dream. Now, I have a job, a family and a house and a few toys, vacations and benefits. One guy who I played with for a year, who has 3 CDs, is now living in a motorhome in his ex girlfriend's driveway with absolutely nothing. A 51 year old still clinging to the dream playing legions.
Looking around at the scene and some of these players that I respected and tried to follow in their footsteps back in the day, I realize I made the right decision.
Now that my kids are older, I can take music a tad more seriously. In getting back into the scene, I found there's a few guys still around from back in the 80s that tried for the brass ring. Some got pretty close, but most are all 60 and broke with day jobs. The only ones who made any money are the ones who wrote the songs, and even they're not rich. It turns out nobody I had ever played with on a regular basis wound up rich from music.
At the time I was a tad bitter giving up the dream. Now, I have a job, a family and a house and a few toys, vacations and benefits. One guy who I played with for a year, who has 3 CDs, is now living in a motorhome in his ex girlfriend's driveway with absolutely nothing. A 51 year old still clinging to the dream playing legions.
Looking around at the scene and some of these players that I respected and tried to follow in their footsteps back in the day, I realize I made the right decision.
