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Just got asked to leave the band...
- Thread starter recreate.me
- Start date
Thanks everyone for the kind words!
Most of you guys were right, and like most of you i grew up with that 'feeling' inside that says "you are meant to do great things" but never knowing what it was for until i started playing bass. However, i actually didnt start playing UNTIL grad school, so i have been playing for only a few years. The rest of the band has been playing for probably a decade each.
The band started as a side project, until the main project went down. Then it became the main goal. During that time i never really thought we would do anything more then practice and play shows for fun, make money if someone paid us, and enjoy it!
I am not sure what changed but the band seemed to all of a sudden say "when i am older i want to look back and know that i did everything i could to make it" and for them i see that, but for me i want to look back and say "man, that was fun"
I think thats where we parted they got serious, and i just want to have fun!
Chrisbandicoot: I have heard great things about Villians! The 19th is a rough night, we play with Papermaps, and Lifestorey Monologue is playing Blind Dog that night too, it really splits the crowds bigtime.
Kwesi: I did Civil and Environmental engineering, not mechanical
i LOVE science, math and engineering, which is kinda why i love music!
I think in the end of this; whether the band gets famous with or without me, or it breaks up with or without me, my feelings for music and my youth won't change and I will be happy either way.
Now the REAL trouble is finding weekend worriers in Windsor/London that aren't 45 and playing classic rock lol
Most of you guys were right, and like most of you i grew up with that 'feeling' inside that says "you are meant to do great things" but never knowing what it was for until i started playing bass. However, i actually didnt start playing UNTIL grad school, so i have been playing for only a few years. The rest of the band has been playing for probably a decade each.
The band started as a side project, until the main project went down. Then it became the main goal. During that time i never really thought we would do anything more then practice and play shows for fun, make money if someone paid us, and enjoy it!
I am not sure what changed but the band seemed to all of a sudden say "when i am older i want to look back and know that i did everything i could to make it" and for them i see that, but for me i want to look back and say "man, that was fun"
I think thats where we parted they got serious, and i just want to have fun!
Chrisbandicoot: I have heard great things about Villians! The 19th is a rough night, we play with Papermaps, and Lifestorey Monologue is playing Blind Dog that night too, it really splits the crowds bigtime.
Kwesi: I did Civil and Environmental engineering, not mechanical
i LOVE science, math and engineering, which is kinda why i love music!I think in the end of this; whether the band gets famous with or without me, or it breaks up with or without me, my feelings for music and my youth won't change and I will be happy either way.
Now the REAL trouble is finding weekend worriers in Windsor/London that aren't 45 and playing classic rock lol
"The world has changed, and left me here." I think the other guys had these plans for a while, probably since the band started playing out. Good for them too. On the other hand, you need to follow the career that you've been preparing for as well, so it's probably for the best that you part ways. I hope you all remain friends, and good luck to you.
True, I think everyone kinda has that idea in mind when they start a band, if this works i'll run with it, kinda thing. I guess for me i had something else that worked a bit better and I ran with that.
I think we will all stay friends, probably not as tight, but friends.
I think we will all stay friends, probably not as tight, but friends.
The key here is that you have something to fall back (a pretty cushy pillow if you ask me) on if you decide to go head first into a musical career later on. I'm currently working on my day job degree (IT Network Admin) which will get me on my feet so that I can pursue music when I have more than $5 to spend in a day.
I'm not a teenager (I'm 24) but I know with most young folks they think that having a degree or a REAL job is a death sentence for your possibilities as a musician. I thought that allll the way up until a few years ago when I realized that being 21 and broke isn't cool when your credit rating is taking hits. Plenty of guys had pretty demanding day jobs before they became "successful" as musicians (Adam Jones from Tool doing computer animation, etc). A lot of jobs allow workers to do four 10-hour shifts a week instead of the regular 9-5 shift five days a week. I picked my career path because that was a possibility for me, so I can spend 3 days of my week focused on music while still supporting myself comfortably. But back to the point, what are they going to fall back on? The BL from 2 bands ago had a crony job where he got in at a place that did application screening and organizing for big oil companies...made pretty good money but he had no degree or anything that qualified him for that job. He got fired by the company and now works at Chik Fil A. Brand new truck, music gear, wife, and a baby on the way...a degree REALLY would have helped him =/
I'm not a teenager (I'm 24) but I know with most young folks they think that having a degree or a REAL job is a death sentence for your possibilities as a musician. I thought that allll the way up until a few years ago when I realized that being 21 and broke isn't cool when your credit rating is taking hits. Plenty of guys had pretty demanding day jobs before they became "successful" as musicians (Adam Jones from Tool doing computer animation, etc). A lot of jobs allow workers to do four 10-hour shifts a week instead of the regular 9-5 shift five days a week. I picked my career path because that was a possibility for me, so I can spend 3 days of my week focused on music while still supporting myself comfortably. But back to the point, what are they going to fall back on? The BL from 2 bands ago had a crony job where he got in at a place that did application screening and organizing for big oil companies...made pretty good money but he had no degree or anything that qualified him for that job. He got fired by the company and now works at Chik Fil A. Brand new truck, music gear, wife, and a baby on the way...a degree REALLY would have helped him =/
+1
I also suggest learning piano for the long haul. It will help you musicianship in general and allow you to write some tunes eventually. Maybe start writing some poetry/lyrics as well.
You never know until you try....
Good luck.
While I was in college, I was living with other musicians-some going to school, some just focused on music. One of my roommates was called up to a well known national act, was on magazine covers etc. He is an amazing talent, worked hard, and is a great guy, I was stoked for him and was also obviously envious and the rest of us really looked at him as an example of "making it". Years later, he came through town with another national act. I went to see him and we got to hang out after on their tour bus. At 3am, when I got home I was soo thankful for my middle mgmt corporate job, my kids, my tiny house, and my bed (with my beautiful wife in it) My friend went to bed on his bunk that night on the bus. I still get out to play and I am stoked every gig I have.
There was a song by some band that was about how all bands are destined to break-up eventually...I wish I could remember who sang that.
The good news is that you're a bass player and we're almost always in demand. Hit Craigslist and find a group in your area. Good for them -- they may go on tour (or may not) and get to sleep on others' floors and eat scraps. Ahhh, living the dream and the memories that will create. Hopefully, they have a Plan B if financial stability never arrives. As for you, you already determined what your priorities were -- getting an education and a career. You don't have to feel bad about that, just as they don't have to feel bad about taking a chance at making music a career. Just realize that it's time to shift into the mode where you play music as an avocation/hobby rather than a vocation/career. While I respect people who take the chance and those who can make a living at it, I personally prefer to not depend on music to pay my bills. I enjoy it being an outlet and getaway from the day job and other life stressors.
So, don't worry about it. At least they didn't claim you couldn't play in the pocket or something like that! You just were on different paths. There are other bands out there that will fit your current priorities. It just takes time and perseverance to find the right fit.
pbd
Commercial User
What you should avoid doing is compare your success with theirs and vice versa. If they make it, be happy for them.
Tell them that at first you felt sad that they asked you to leave the band, but you are now OK with it.
Oh, and don't sell your equipment because "you're not playing anymore". That's a HUGE mistake!
Tell them that at first you felt sad that they asked you to leave the band, but you are now OK with it.
Oh, and don't sell your equipment because "you're not playing anymore". That's a HUGE mistake!
Doesn't mean you stop playing and writing music. I gig with Dr's, lawyers, architects, etc. all the time in various groups. Good luck with your engineering career. Bob
In a display of classlessness that probed the lowest depths, a band I was in, that I helped form...for over 10 years, they fired me using VM...as I was recovering from cancer.
They're out there.
They're out there.
So what's the big deal?
Go find a band that suits your needs and they will go find a bass player that suits theirs.
Who cares?
Sounds like you do. You wouldn't bring it up if you thought that you were doing the right thing.
If it feels wrong follow your intuition.
Finding a good band that plays the kind of music you like with people that you really get along with and enjoy is a hard thing to do.
Finding a frickin' job is easy.
Go find a band that suits your needs and they will go find a bass player that suits theirs.
Who cares?
Sounds like you do. You wouldn't bring it up if you thought that you were doing the right thing.
If it feels wrong follow your intuition.
Finding a good band that plays the kind of music you like with people that you really get along with and enjoy is a hard thing to do.
Finding a frickin' job is easy.
I have an almost similar story. Graduated college with a Mechanical Engineering degree. Moved 2 hours away for a job. It is a contract job that was supposed to last 2 months. Ive been here for about a year an a half now, will be about 2 years when all is said and done. Then I will be moving back. I am still apart of the band, but it deffinatly made things harder. Also, noone in my band is banking on making music a career. We all think it would be awesome, but chances of any band making it are slim.
pbd
Commercial User
While there may be more potential in music for you IN YOUR CURRENT PHYSICAL LOCATION, I doubt that is true if you're willing to move. Basically structural unemployment.
Its not that i know I am doing the right thing, it just feels like I am giving up 'that dream'. We all have had it or have it. The one where you form a band with your best friends and play all over the world and make it big and get your face on magazines and people love your music.
Well, i kinda did the first bit, i started a band with my friends (i dont know anyone else who plays lol) and we played lots of shows and now we have a good buzz going (which is why they need to tour and push push push it all now and not later) and its hard to say "I cant do that" and, as it turns out, its harder to say "i quit" to a great job with a global company paying me a wage that will allow me to buy a new car, buy a house, and who knows how much gear haha oh and benefits and pension and yada yada...
Its not a case of right and wrong, its a case of a rock and a hard place.
I'll try playing music with strangers soon i guess.
And thanks for the 'dont sell your gear' tip, i was just about to list my Mesa blackface walkabout head, and RS212's lol
