Just got asked to leave the band...

[SteveHeissner]

You can be a talented musician and starve to death. You can be an average businessman, doctor, lawyer, whatever and make a lot of money. You can always play in bands on weekends, keep your day job/career, and not worry about how you're going to pay the mortgage.

 

[fingerbun]

This is what people that don't go for it tell themselves. I started my day job career about ten years after everyone else and there were certainly days I counted my money at fast food places before ordering. However, I wouldn't trade those memories for anything and I never have to wonder if I would have made it if I'd really tried.

The world will need engineers in five years too. The reality is that by the time they retire most people will have changed fields several times anyway, so giving music a shot when you are young won't likely set you back in the long run.

This comment is NOT specifically aimed at SactoBass because I don't know if he made it or not! I love it when people who never made it feel they need to stop others from trying. My sister works in the geriatric field and most of the people she talks to regret the chances they didn't take.

Same here though I guess there is some danger of the college degree getting stale if not used. Still an individual choice though.

 

[guy n. cognito]

That, or they might be living the dream and he'll be stuck with a job he hates.

It goes both ways, you know

Only on a very rare occurrence.

 

[Saxn]

I have an almost-the-same-story sort of thing. When I was in college and playing with my first gigging band, the closest "scene" was in Athens, Georgia. About midway through my senior year the rest of the group decided that it was time to go there, and I told them there was just no way I could uproot and leave at this particular time. Just like you, I felt really bad at the time.

Well, I finished school and went to work in the technical field, and a few years later I tried to look them up in Athens only to find long-past Internet records of where they would be playing, etc... they had vanished from the face of the planet. I am willing to bet they had a little fun along the way, but in the end I think I made the right call.

 

[brotherbassj]

Bottom line is there are no real guarantees in anything these days. I have a huge thread about potentially going on tour with my band. I'll sum it up here......

I'm in a modern rock band that apparently is pretty good. We have opened for 8 or so National acts at bigger venues. We are signed, going on first leg of tour with known nationally recorded touring acts, tour bus, etc......the kicker......I have a family, wife and three kids.......I am the income....might have to quit my two jobs so family can live........insurance.......house payments........anyway you get the point.

I am going to have to bid farewell to the band I co founded over 4 years ago. Unless my jobs let me take leave w pay......which I have and keep my insurance......hahaha.

What company do you know that will let you leave for 50 days to go touring and get paid (probably minimal).

So yeah.......I can tell you how things feel. It's ok though......as others have stated its how you maintain your own personal outlook about your situation. I sure wanna go out on tour BUT.......I love my family.......I do not leave unless its "right"

Keep playing, go to open mics......have fun!

 

[ChrisBandicoot]

This is a really unfortunate situation. I'm also from Windsor and have seen some really upsetting things happen in the music scene here. It seems so many people are willing to abandon the people that got them where they are in order to get out of Windsor ASAP. I would come out to your show on the 19th, but I'm playing at Villains that night. It's unfortunate, but there are still a lot of very talented and open minded musicians around here. I sincerely hope that you find a new, fulfilling project.

 

[Marley's Ghost]

Dust youself off and find another band with people who are on the same wavelength. There is nothing wrong with being a weekend warrior. I am a network engineering manager, and have $$ for gear, a house, family, savings, 401k, pension etc. All stuff that most of the touring bands only dream of. I am having way more fun now then I did when I was in my teens and 20's. And the look on the faces of my peers at work when I first invite them to see my band live is priceless.

 

[1958Bassman]

Thanks guys, I am already starting to feel better.

Our last show is Nov 19. After that I am on my own.

I think the biggest bummer is the fact that I am not a song writer. i can write a bass line to your song and write bass lines in general, but i cannot write guitar or piano or drums or anything to really fill in a song, nor can i sing or write lyrics. I feel like I have a writer/singer who wrote very similar stuff to what wanted to and it was almost like i was writing it. Now its just back to playing covers by myself for a while.

How do you guys bounce back from the parting of a good band?

Have you asked around at work, to find out who plays? I have one friend who worked for Honeywell and another with Texas Instruments- both were playing in bands and the one with TI played in a Corporate Battle of the Bands. The final battles were held at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. All of their gigs benefited charities.

 

[Saxn]

... And the look on the faces of my peers at work when I first invite them to see my band live is priceless.

LOL Isn't that the truth! A few years ago I brought back some Mardi Gras photos of myself playing with a brass band on Bourbon Street - in my company digs! Those photos still get talked about from time to time.

 

[GypsyMan]

What's that old cliche, "If you love something, let it go ..."

If returns to you, it's yours.
If it doesn't return to you, Hunt it down and kill it!

 

[collins81]

How do you guys bounce back from the parting of a good band?

Easy. Switch to state farm, then go buy yourself a falcon.

 

[MrDOS]

It goes both ways, you know

Yes, but in a ratio of even less than 1 to 99

 

[TC2112]

In engineering, if you do a good job, the money will come on its own. You're right, having money is a very nice thing and it surely is not the be all and end all. But if you will allow me to quote Cher, "I've been poor and I've been rich. Rich is better."

As David Lee Roth stated - "Money can't buy you happiness. But it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it."

 

[pedroims]

Well is regarding what you want to do with your life, seems to me like you have a solid plan, believe me , the time will come when you will have a family to feed and a bunch of bills to pay. You will find that there are ALOT of musician in your situation, people that have daily jobs and music is a hobby, right now I am in band where all of us know that the band is not our priority, if somebody need to work or have family duties then the rehearsal is posponed till next week without a drama.

 

[Bob C]

Please, enough with the posts comforting the OP that he'll be making more money than his poor rockstar wannabe friends.

While that may be true, it's not a healthy stance to take. His band mates seem to have come to the logical conclusion that it is time to part ways.

OP, it is normal for you to feel sad and bewildered. But pour yourself into your new life, get in a new band when you can and keep your old contacts and memories.

 

[cnltb]

Our lead singer/guitarist and I started our band about three years ago. We have gone through changes of everyone else over the years and have played many shows with some bigger names up here in Canada, and started recording a CD last spring that has just about wrapped up recording.

During this time i finished my masters degree in engineering and he finished a college certificate. I took a job out of town to start a career and he said he wanted to make our band his career. The rest of our band has no post secondary schooling so they are free to travel and play whenever but I am limited to a 4 hour drive and saturday night shows. sigh...

I said i cannot commit to tours, and promoting out of the area yet, or really any shows not on the weekend and they said so long to me!

Its a big let down. It was the reason i started bass. A band with your friends, but i guess growing up gets in the way.

Anyone else have a similar story?

I fully understand you and I fully understand your former bandmates.
Some things just don't go together.
That's life.

 

[pklima]

Similar situation? Yeah, sorta. Quit an originals band because they were starting to get a little too successful and tour more than I wanted to. Zero regrets. Playing in several bands that don't need to tour.

 

[lfmn16]

Same here though I guess there is some danger of the college degree getting stale if not used. Still an individual choice though.

That's a valid point.

There are costs to every decision. Only the OP can make the decision that is right for him. The difference is that, assuming he has no ties, he can choose to try the band or find a day job. After he has a wife, kids and a mortgage, he won't have that choice.

There's nothing wrong with getting a job and playing part time, I just hate to see someone throw away their dream without even trying just to make money.

Good luck to the OP.

 

[Marley's Ghost]

Please, enough with the posts comforting the OP that he'll be making more money than his poor rockstar wannabe friends.

While that may be true, it's not a healthy stance to take. His band mates seem to have come to the logical conclusion that it is time to part ways.

OP, it is normal for you to feel sad and bewildered. But pour yourself into your new life, get in a new band when you can and keep your old contacts and memories.

Thanks Dr Bob for setting us straight.

 

[Kwesi]

During this time i finished my masters degree in engineering and he finished a college certificate.

I read this and couldn't help but laugh my ass off, only because it almost seems like you're selling yourself short! I'm gonna go ahead and make a few assumptions here, let me know where I go wrong. You've come this far into mechanical engineering so you like it on some level or another, right? Despite the difficultly of the engineering program you've continued to play bass so you dig playing right?

I'm sure it sucks that the band seems to be moving on without you but it looks like you're well on your way to living a good life! A good career and a love for music. I won't say there's nothing more you could ask for but you'd be hard pressed to find folks with a better position than that. Find a local event band that will fit your work schedule and live happily. Just make sure that these guys aren't trying to be national acts or anything.