Let's spread some musical misinformation

[mrjim123]

Acme sued because Sue had acne. True story - Acme's president became enraged when Sue, his 50 year old wife, suddenly developed acne and he assumed she must be having an affair with a teenager. One day at work he went off the hook when he caught a subordinate watching an Elbow Grease video on YouTube. He fired the worker and said to his lawyers, "Let's sue those pimple eating Elbonian bastards!", thus greasing the skids for a lawsuit.

 

[dragon68]

Acme sued because Sue had acne. True story - Acme's president became enraged when Sue, his 50 year old wife, suddenly developed acne and he assumed she must be having an affair with a teenager. One day at work he went off the hook when he caught a subordinate watching an Elbow Grease video on YouTube. He fired the worker and said to his lawyers, "Let's sue those pimple eating Elbonian bastards!", thus greasing the skids for a lawsuit.

Rare photo of the Elbonian legal team:

 

[mrjim123]

No one has ever been able to determine why they wear black condoms on their heads, or why their beards look like oven mitts.

 

[Jay2U]

Rare photo of the Elbonian legal team:
View attachment 2931584

No one has ever been able to determine why they wear black condoms on their heads, or why their beards look like oven mitts.

Strictly the Elbonian team isn't a team. As can be seen in the rare photo, they're conjoined twins.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Awesome stuff on that website. I saw that they sell "bass air" for improved sub-woofer performance. I'm wondering if this would improve the output of my acoustic bass guitar. I might have to order some and test that theory.

I hear there's a place in California where they make the air for campanologists.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

The best wood for 1950s-inspired glam rock is Roy.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

The best wood for metal is iron wood.

The best wood for pop is plastic wood

The best wood for Canadian music is maple, eh.

The best wood for Cajun music is swamp ash.

The best wood for bluegrass/old time music is alder.

 

[mrjim123]

The best wood for girls is, well ...

 

[EricMordus]

and then the guitar player said to me: "Hey, can you turn up, I can hardly hear you"

 

[-Asdfgh-]

The best wood for girls is, well ...

Ladywood, in Birmingham, UK!

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Air guitarists should always buy an amp, but never turn it on. It's so they can still get the right sort of feedback.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

All the best metal guitarists have been to northern England to learn the ancient art of gurning, to use during guitar solos. Def Leopard famously opened a school for disseminating this skill in Rotherham.

 

[Shannon]

The band Elbow was originally known as Elbow Grease, until sued by Acme over the use of its brand name.

Elbow was the island Napoleon was exiled to.

 

[mrjim123]

Where, in attempt to disguise himself in order to escape, he became:

 

[Jay2U]

Where, in attempt to disguise himself in order to escape, he became:

View attachment 2932193

Which has been poorly translated from French. It should read "Napoleon's Dining Mate".

 

[-Asdfgh-]

All the best metal guitarists have been to northern England to learn the ancient art of gurning, to use during guitar solos. Def Leopard famously opened a school for disseminating this skill in Rotherham.

I should have said "opened a school in Rotherham for.." as it was to train the world, not just those in a South Yorkshire town

 

[Count Bassie]

I should have said "opened a school in Rotherham for.." as it was to train the world, not just those in a South Yorkshire town

Glad you fixed that.

 

[pklima]

A good way to be perceived as a bad boy who doesn't play by the rules is to play a left-handed instrument right-handed; but if you're a real daredevil, do that with one of those weird "ergonomic" body shapes.

 

[zontar]

Eric Gales is unable to play fast enough to Rock You Like a Hurricane.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

A good way to be perceived as a bad boy who doesn't play by the rules is to play a left-handed instrument right-handed; but if you're a real daredevil, do that with one of those weird "ergonomic" body shapes.

Real bad boys follow The Princess Bride, and play right-handed instruments left-handed, despite being right-handed. This makes Dave Wakeling of The American English Beat, the baddest of them all! (I prefer The English English Beat myself).