If you're just starting a band, and you're not much good: whenever you're gigging, make it a policy, right at the onset, to commandeer the desk — the lights won't be a problem — and turn everything up to eleven and do the same with all the amps, all the effects, the pedals, and the monitors. Then, let rip. Trust me. You'll be HUGE.
And don't worry too much. Your sublime mediocrity, and the band's multitudinous technical failings — with all that mind-numbing racket coming off the stage … it'll all come out in the wash — in hot water, with a good long soak beforehand, and a load of bleach, and a packet or two of Sard's Wonder Soap, and a box of Sunlight, for good measure.
Nobody will know you're all actually recalcitrant patent attorneys taking a very long lunch — bookable hours.