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Let's spread some musical misinformation
- Thread starter pklima
- Start date
The Italian word for organ is oregano. The rumour/joke that Italian mommas' thighs can crush your organ is a corruption of the true story of criminal families who emigrated from Sicily to Cuba, setting up gangs in major US cities. These gangs would attend mass, hanging around until people had left, then steal the church oreganos to be shipped back to Cuba for grinding to a fine powder by the mommas' thighs. The finest pizza toppings were created by this method, pushing the price up to truffle-like levels. It also led to the FBI categorising this activity as "organised crime".
It also had the effect of declining church attendance, as many city priests were now reduced to "uno, due, tre" and humming the opening bar of the hymn for the congregation. Things came to a head in the early 20th century and the advent of ready-made pizza supplied in cardboard boxes. Having stripped out the pulpits of all Catholic churches in major US cities, the gangs turned their attentions to the movie theaters and stole all the organs/oreganos there. Silent movies that had to be watched in actual silence were so unpopular that Hollywood was forced to make films where actors talked and sounds of trains hilariously crashing through someone's wooden house had to be recorded. This killed several acting careers, not (a common misconception) because they had weedy, high-pitched voices but because their bottoms, when kicked, never sounded quite as amusing as a badly tuned kettle drum.
By the 1950s, the profitable pizza scheme died out - partly due to J Edgar Hoover (who hated Italian food and preferred a nice chicken biryani), organ/oregano shortages in both churches and theaters, and people getting used to unconvincing dialogue in films. A huge surplus of unwanted cardboard resulted, until the enterprising Domino Familia recycled the cardboard into pizza toppings - later muscling in on Hollywood (the Best Actor/Actress criterion now being who best resembled the cardboard cutout in the theater foyer). They even renamed the state of Hipster - source of 90% of the world's cardboard - to Oregon, in an attempt to convince the public that Domino's pizzas were still "just like momma makes them". Citizens of Oregon often protest about the export of their commodity and are pacified by waiters jumping out of rental vehicles administering extra helpings of pepper as they walk home with their takeaway, with a free lift to somewhere if still not satisfied.
It also had the effect of declining church attendance, as many city priests were now reduced to "uno, due, tre" and humming the opening bar of the hymn for the congregation. Things came to a head in the early 20th century and the advent of ready-made pizza supplied in cardboard boxes. Having stripped out the pulpits of all Catholic churches in major US cities, the gangs turned their attentions to the movie theaters and stole all the organs/oreganos there. Silent movies that had to be watched in actual silence were so unpopular that Hollywood was forced to make films where actors talked and sounds of trains hilariously crashing through someone's wooden house had to be recorded. This killed several acting careers, not (a common misconception) because they had weedy, high-pitched voices but because their bottoms, when kicked, never sounded quite as amusing as a badly tuned kettle drum.
By the 1950s, the profitable pizza scheme died out - partly due to J Edgar Hoover (who hated Italian food and preferred a nice chicken biryani), organ/oregano shortages in both churches and theaters, and people getting used to unconvincing dialogue in films. A huge surplus of unwanted cardboard resulted, until the enterprising Domino Familia recycled the cardboard into pizza toppings - later muscling in on Hollywood (the Best Actor/Actress criterion now being who best resembled the cardboard cutout in the theater foyer). They even renamed the state of Hipster - source of 90% of the world's cardboard - to Oregon, in an attempt to convince the public that Domino's pizzas were still "just like momma makes them". Citizens of Oregon often protest about the export of their commodity and are pacified by waiters jumping out of rental vehicles administering extra helpings of pepper as they walk home with their takeaway, with a free lift to somewhere if still not satisfied.
I'll never shop at GC again.
I got a 12 pair pack of drum sticks delivered today...they're ALL left handed except one stick. WTH am I supposed to do with that?
I bought a set of strings there last week and I am fuming as they are 40, 60, 80, 100 not the 100, 80, 60, 40 I wanted.
My grandfather tried to join a disorganised crime syndicate that was trying to make pianos from a composite made of ground thyme and resin (3/4 ratio for ordinary pianos, 7/8 for jazz players, but he had to explain to Brubeck that 5/4 wasn't going to work as that wouldn't be sufficient resin). In the end someone tweaked the recipe and it became very popular as Bakelite.
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They sold you left-handed strings...
You can use them on a right handed bass, but you will have to change the phase of your amp. It probably still won't sound right though.
Gonna either have to switch lefty/righty or learn to play everything backwards...BE CAREFUL WITH THE BLACK SABBATH MUSIC if you choose the latter!
Upside down is an option too, but they only make the gravity boots for drums for right now.
Also, you might have simply opened that package wrong.
You can also install them with the "ball" at the machine head, but then you have to devise a way to tie them off at the bridge.
You can use them on a right hand acoustic bass, but you won't hear it until you are a block away.
My first composition ever was all rests. 16th and 32nd rests too! I played it all day long and people were glad.
Stonehenge is actually a musical key to a portal that will take you to a place where all of the late music greats now reside
It has to be played using a 4th century wooden mallet in proper sequence at a very high speed level, by one who is pure.
You would either have to be as fast as the flash or have that many pure people together to play it, and we all know there are not that many pure people left.
If you try using an augmented 3rd century wooden mallet the universe will explode.
Playing out of sequence will result in copyright infringement charges.
It has to be played using a 4th century wooden mallet in proper sequence at a very high speed level, by one who is pure.
You would either have to be as fast as the flash or have that many pure people together to play it, and we all know there are not that many pure people left.
If you try using an augmented 3rd century wooden mallet the universe will explode.
Playing out of sequence will result in copyright infringement charges.
Sadly, this is NOT disinformation:
www.talkclassical.com/67207-schenker-gets-cancelled.html
And 2+2=5, but only sometimes....
When will the madness stop?
Sorry, I'll see myself out.
www.talkclassical.com/67207-schenker-gets-cancelled.html
And 2+2=5, but only sometimes....
When will the madness stop?
Sorry, I'll see myself out.
I didn't play on anything. Somebody owes me some royalties! Actually, everybody!
