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Let's spread some musical misinformation

#1,881
The metal scene has matured a lot over the years and become somewhat more tolerant. It used to be all "if you are a false do not entry, you will be burned and died". Now it's more like "if you are a false use the side entry, you will be pointed and laughed".
 
#1,891
There are no brown notes in "Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter".

K-POP has replaced Disco.

Everyone that lives north of the Arctic Circle has a large jazz collection. "Tea For Two" is the most played song at the North Pole. Explorers looking for the NorthWest Passage often found local natives playing Esk-jazz, a type of jazz known for it's sporadic off-timing and heavy focus on percussion. The Beatles used a lot of Esk-jazz elements in their song "I Am The Walrus".

There is a 7-11 store about 3 miles from the North Pole. Large impromptu jazz-jams are often held in the parking lot. Blubber is free but they encourage donations.
 
#1,892
Many bass players, after long and arduous finger-picking practise sessions experience "Saint Vitus Bass Guitar Players Dance".

This is where you go to bed but your fingers on the picking hand won't stop picking.

If left unattended your hand will crawl all over the place preventing you from sleeping.

Easily solved......Duct-tape your fingers together and then Duct-tape your hand and arm to your body.
 
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#1,893
Since the invention of the bass guitar, over 4 trillion bass guitar picks have been sold.

But people still find fingerpicking more enjoyable.

If you only pick with one finger, consuming eight cups of coffee before you start helps.....

A new cyborg prosthetic is being introduced that has 2 thumbs and 6 fingers which fits over your hand and is controlled by brain impulses.

Comes with a bag of picks in case you just can't make it work for you.

They will also take the package back in on trade for a Key-tar if you just want to play metal.

They have picks available for the Key-tar if you are having trouble playing it with fingers.
 
#1,894
This is the true story of the origins on the Precision Bass.
Leonardo Divinci invented the bass guitar, but considered it useless because there was no place plug in. He hid the drawings by gluing them to the back of '"Study of a Tuscan Landscape".
Leo Fender bought the drawings from Indiana Jones who captured them from an arab prince who had stolen them from the Uffizi Gallery in Florence.
 
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#1,895
Leo Fender never really existed....he is said to have been seen on the streets of Anaheim,California back in the 40's.

But it's a myth started by The Epiphone Company.

It was they who invented the electric bass guitar (Wilfred Ibanez worked for them)...and they needed a scapegoat to take the heat for failed early models.

So they created the urban legend of Leo Fender.

There was actually a man named Leo Fender in Anaheim at that time. But he had nothing to do with building guitars and worked at a wholesale garden produce plant.

He got so tired of calls to him about dead spots on the guitar neck that he changed his name and moved to Connecticut.

The Epiphone Company had heard about Da Vinci's drawings....and offered Indiana Jones 5 years free shopping at Guitar Center in exchange for them....
 
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#1,896
In Connecticut Leo was recognized by a man who happened to be a Rickenbacker bass player and helium addicted singer.
This Canadian convinced him to move to Canada to work as a lumber jack.
Chopping hard maple, he discovered the tonal qualities of the wood.
He decided to build copies of a Korean bass, which had to be better than the original.
He succeeded, the dead spots were 'better' indeed.
 
#1,897
The Canadian Rickenbacker player and helium-addicted singer was in reality a US undercover operative from Area 51.

Area 51 is where all supposedly dead rock stars go. Every rock star that you think is dead faked their own deaths and now lives there.

Area 51 is a huge underground high-end totally soundproofed resort. They routinely send fake saucers up in the air to fool the public.

Elvis has been there for years. So has Jerry Garcia and Jim Morrison.

People are flown to the site in unmarked planes every weekend for the outrageous parties that go on there.

The population of rock stars that live at Area 51 is 8,510. The underground facility covers 9 square miles and is state of the art.

The medical research is so advanced there, that you can expect to live to be at least 200.

Since moving there many rock stars have produced offspring by association with the female rock stars.

Some of the offspring are well into adulthood....they are smuggled out of Area 51 for 2 or 3 weeks at a time so they may appear as "impersonators" of their parents in places like Atlantic City or Vegas. The public just thinks they are people off the street looking to get attention.

The give-away is Florsheim shoes. All Area 51 offspring wear Florsheim shoes because Florsheim has an exclusive footwear contract there.
 
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#1,898
The Boston Tea Party was never about taxation or rule by an offshore government.

It all came to a head one night when the Americans had finally had enough of English waltzes as the mainstay of tavern music.

And the fact that British sailors preferred tea over beer.

At the time, blues music was gaining huge ground thanks to the cotton plantations.......and one of George Washington's psychics had predicted that a man by the name of Chuck Berry was going to revolutionize American music.

Annoyed and fed up with British music the colonials didn't realize the psychic was off by a big margin about the arrival time of Berry.

They thought he would show up in the summertime and decided to act right away.
 

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