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Lost a close friend....

MJ5150

MJ5150

Moderator
Staff member
Gold Supporting Member
Apr 12, 2001
17,407
35,716
Edinburg, Texas
#1
Amidst all the excitement in my life from my football teams playing well, I got a terrible, terrible, terrible phone call today.

One of my best friends mother died just a few hours ago. She was suffering with Alzheimers. It got a grip on her a couple years ago, and seemed to level out for a bit. In the last two weeks, it really started accelerating. Now, she is gone.

Growing up, she was a second mom to me. I spent the night at their house as often as my buddy stayed at mine. She would spank me when I misbehaved, or wash my mouth out with soap if I said a bad word. I went on vacations with their family. I even went through the phase where I had a crush on her, then my buddy found out and told his mom. She took me aside one day and talked to me about it, and said she was just too old for me. :D

The loss is not touching me right at this moment as the loss of an actual relative, but I think it will shortly. My initial reaction was "Oh, bummer" when my buddy called. Then I hung up and started crying. I am still working right now, so once I shut down from work, I got a feeling it is all going to come crashing down on me.

-Mike
 
#2
Hang in, Mike.

A good cry is not a bad thing. Means you got feelings. Good
musicians usually have those.

After the cry, I recommend the celebration of life mode. Sounds like
you have a lot of good things to remember.

I recommend an Otis Redding CD with your cry btw, Very cathartic, very
emotional, very moving.

Thanks for sharing.
O
 
#6
My condolences man. Those kinds of losses (family friends, the loss of a pet) always seem to hit me in waves where initially I think I'm going to be fine but it just builds up and gets worse and worse as I start recollecting all the memories.

So tip back a beer in her memory and remember all the good times.
 
#9
MJ5150 said:
Yeah, I got this huge lump in my throat. I'm about to lose it.

My wife is out of town this week traveling for work, so I got no shoulder to cry on. Just you guys.

-Mike
Click to expand...

Wow that sucks. Having only TB to cry to. You know the
quality of the discourse here in OT. :smug: ;)

Take a break, go out to your car and put a CD on.

Heck, take the rest of the day off. Tell your boss I said it was
ok and it doesn't pay to cross the G of T.
 
#10
Thor said:
Take a break, go out to your car and put a CD on.

Heck, take the rest of the day off. Tell your boss I said it was
ok and it doesn't pay to cross the G of T.
Click to expand...

I'm taking the last little bit of my day off. I am scheduled to call a client in a few minutes, but I can't keep it together long enough to have a five minute conversation.

This whole experience has been odd for the last hour since I found out. I can feel my body going through the emotions, but it's like I'm not part of them. I'm sad, but it's like...eh, too weird to put into words. Maybe this is me distancing myself from the loss to ease the pain.

I'll drive over to my parents house in a few and talk to them. They don't know yet. They know our friend was in her last days of life, but not what just happened. My buddy asked me to tell my parents.

As usualy, youn'z are great. Thanks for the encouragement. Time to go calm myself down before I get behind the wheel.

Forgot to mention......our son is best friends with their youngest son. It was always neat how I grew up with their oldest son who is a couple years younger than me, and they have another son who is my sons age. They are also best buddies.

-Mike
 
#11
I'm very sorry for your loss, Mike, hang in there. Alzheimer's is such a terrible, frustrating, unpredictable disease--it crept up on my grandmother, then rendered her almost completely "out of it" for years before she finally passed.:( Thor's advice is very sound (of course).
 
#12
Sorry to hear this, bud.
My mother is a RNA for a local "home". She deals with these patients all the time, so I kind of know how these things can go.

I'm sorry for your loss. If there's anything you think I can do, you know how to get ahold of me.
 
#13
GregC said:
I'm very sorry for your loss, Mike, hang in there. Alzheimer's is such a terrible, frustrating, unpredictable disease--it crept up on my grandmother, then rendered her almost completely "out of it" for years before she finally passed.:( Thor's advice is very sound (of course).
Click to expand...

That's what you think. If you talked to my wife, she'd tell
you I'm really an idiot!
 
#14
My best friend died a couple of months ago. I can tell you, you're handling this better than I did. I didn't cry out loud until I was at his funeral in front of friends and family.

Grieving is a good thing.
 
#20
Spent the evening over at my parents house. We looked at some old pictures, home movies, and then just told some stories about our times with their family. I feel better, but somewhat distant now. Like one part of me is going through this, but the other part isn't.

I haven't gone over to my buddies parents house yet. She died at home, in her own bed, so it totally creeps me out to go to the house now. I am really bad about dealing with this aspect of death/loss. I don't like going to the hospital to see people who are about to die, I don't like going to funerals, I can't handle going to visit the surviving family. I just can't do it. I don't know how long it will be before I can go over to the house. My buddy wants me to come over tomorrow after work, but I just can't do it.

On a good note, my wife talked with me on the phone tonight. She is in Virginia right now, but stayed up late to talk to me. It helped as well. Thanks again to my friends here at TB. You guys are like brothers to me.

-Mike
 

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