Lost a close friend....

Amidst all the excitement in my life from my football teams playing well, I got a terrible, terrible, terrible phone call today.

One of my best friends mother died just a few hours ago. She was suffering with Alzheimers. It got a grip on her a couple years ago, and seemed to level out for a bit. In the last two weeks, it really started accelerating. Now, she is gone.

Growing up, she was a second mom to me. I spent the night at their house as often as my buddy stayed at mine. She would spank me when I misbehaved, or wash my mouth out with soap if I said a bad word. I went on vacations with their family. I even went through the phase where I had a crush on her, then my buddy found out and told his mom. She took me aside one day and talked to me about it, and said she was just too old for me.

The loss is not touching me right at this moment as the loss of an actual relative, but I think it will shortly. My initial reaction was "Oh, bummer" when my buddy called. Then I hung up and started crying. I am still working right now, so once I shut down from work, I got a feeling it is all going to come crashing down on me.

-Mike

 

Yeah, I got this huge lump in my throat. I'm about to lose it.

My wife is out of town this week traveling for work, so I got no shoulder to cry on. Just you guys.

-Mike

 

I'm taking the last little bit of my day off. I am scheduled to call a client in a few minutes, but I can't keep it together long enough to have a five minute conversation.

This whole experience has been odd for the last hour since I found out. I can feel my body going through the emotions, but it's like I'm not part of them. I'm sad, but it's like...eh, too weird to put into words. Maybe this is me distancing myself from the loss to ease the pain.

I'll drive over to my parents house in a few and talk to them. They don't know yet. They know our friend was in her last days of life, but not what just happened. My buddy asked me to tell my parents.

As usualy, youn'z are great. Thanks for the encouragement. Time to go calm myself down before I get behind the wheel.

Forgot to mention......our son is best friends with their youngest son. It was always neat how I grew up with their oldest son who is a couple years younger than me, and they have another son who is my sons age. They are also best buddies.

-Mike

 

Spent the evening over at my parents house. We looked at some old pictures, home movies, and then just told some stories about our times with their family. I feel better, but somewhat distant now. Like one part of me is going through this, but the other part isn't.

I haven't gone over to my buddies parents house yet. She died at home, in her own bed, so it totally creeps me out to go to the house now. I am really bad about dealing with this aspect of death/loss. I don't like going to the hospital to see people who are about to die, I don't like going to funerals, I can't handle going to visit the surviving family. I just can't do it. I don't know how long it will be before I can go over to the house. My buddy wants me to come over tomorrow after work, but I just can't do it.

On a good note, my wife talked with me on the phone tonight. She is in Virginia right now, but stayed up late to talk to me. It helped as well. Thanks again to my friends here at TB. You guys are like brothers to me.

-Mike