Lost My Jones

[THUNDERGODX]

I recently left a band that had become a "no-fun obligation".
Even though it was a perfect situation in all but one aspect.
Massive PA, free equipment transportation, SOTA lights, a complete studio to practice in.
Talented, dedicated players.
Bleeding edge technology.
Hard to believe someone would be dissatisfied with that.

So- Without going into the reasons, which are stated in a different post on here, Im feeling surprised that, understandably, I not only dont miss the last band, but I also am not missing playing in general.

I have had spells of downtime before, but I would still have that "I'll be back" feeling in the back of my mind.

This time, Im not missing it. I havent picked up a bass since last August, the day of the fatal "missed the showtime" gig. 6 months. This after having been involved for over 50 years.

Now, when I come home on Friday evening, I think to myself, "Man, I'm glad i dont have to bounce back out in a big rush to set up, play material I dont even like, and then drive through the middle of the night to get back."

Maybe I'm done.

 

[bholder]

When it becomes more of an obligation than it is fun, it's time to change things for sure. Maybe walking away entirely isn't the best solution, but I sure understand taking a break from band dynamics and drama.

 

[4SG]

A "no-fun obligation" is not a perfect situation. Sounds more like your Jones went off on a little vacation. If it turns into a sabbatical, so be it. It's not lost; your Jones will find you when it's well-rested.

 

[Texan]

I'm in the same hiatus mode. I don't miss it.

I have found that I enjoy just jamming with friends, with no aspirations of a functional band is incredibly fun. Kind of like it was in high school.

 

[jshinal]

I know a retired airline pilot who flew all over during the golden age, now he doesn't even fly his charming antique plane around on pretty days.

Maybe you'll have fun at a jam session with a couple of talented friends. Maybe you can find a student you like. Maybe you need a baritone ukulele and a grassy field. Anyway, there are options.

 

[Ubersheist]

Maybe you need a baritone ukulele...

A basic, baritone ukulele got me fired up. It was great inspiration, which I also took to the bass.

 

[Jimmy4string]

Thats kind of how i was feeling in my last band.
But no "ill be back" in your mind seems like might really be done.
BUT HOLD ON!
Maybe you just need a change -play for fun with some guys in a garage. Make crazy internet videos
play country! Dont let the great time earned bass playing fade from your fingers!
Take a break, Get a new guitar ROCK ON!

 

[growlypants]

You'll be back...but to does take some time!

 

[NZBassman]

I felt that in 2017... was playing in a popular covers band every weekend and playing some good gigs with good money, but I was feeling constantly worn out.... gigs were usually about 1hr drive from my place and I was getting home 3-4am Sunday mornings. So after 6 years I told the band I wanted to leave and have a break... I left in Dec 2017, had 6 months off, a long overdue holiday with my wife and recharged my batteries.

then in June last year I put an ad out to see if there was anyone local looking for a bass player and I hooked up with a bunch of older guys (late 50's) and started enjoying playing again... these guys are 10 minutes from my house and they play about once a month - not for a huge amount of $$ but for the fun and enjoyment
We've got a gig coming up on Saturday and 2 in March - I'm really enjoying it again

You'll be back!

 

[Michedelic]

Just don’t loose your mojo.

 

[buldog5151bass]

I've always if it is not paying for your mortgage, it better be fun.

Take some time. Maybe you want to do something besides gigging. Maybe not.

One band I play in does jazz. Fantastic players, but booking Realmuto (not dinner music) around here is almost impossible. So once a week or so, we get together, have some fun and make some glorious noise. Maybe two or three times a year we get a good gig. Worth it.

 

[Ironbar]

Now, when I come home on Friday evening, I think to myself, "Man, I'm glad i dont have to bounce back out in a big rush to set up, play material I dont even like, and then drive through the middle of the night to get back."

I guess my first question to that statement would be, what material DO you enjoy playing?

 

[THUNDERGODX]

I guess my first question to that statement would be, what material DO you enjoy playing?

Fair question and a good one.

I am rather selective about what I like to play, but I have been in several bands that I really liked everything we did, and it all went over well with a crowd.
Given a preference, I like 80's hair stuff and harder 90's.
Im open to what they play on Octane too, but Im just not so indoctrinated in it or familiar with it.

 

[buldog5151bass]

So maybe focus on that music and finding others musicians who agree. Make playing that music your goal, and see where it goes.

You say you have been gigging over 50 years - tougher to find people your age looking to come out every week. Maybe you do a few parties or something, but make music fun again.

 

[Lichtaffen]

For me personally, it’s always fun until someone brings up gigging. After all these years I found that just playing music with others is the real reason I play music, not the exhibitionism.

 

[One_Dude]

I am in a similar situation. A good band getting good gigs. No druggies, no drunks, no drama. But the BL has decided to persue other musical interests that don't include the rest of the band. The band is not completely over, but the BL has announced that she will only agree to gig requests from our long-standing repeat customer base. I imagine that group of gigs will begin to diminish as time passes.

At first I was quite annoyed that our hard work was going to be lost, but we have been together for 5 or 6 years, and this is the way the music business works. Very few bands last a really long time. The BL has always treated me fairly and with respect so I have no reason to be annoyed.

I am not stepping away from the music; I play at church 2 or 3 times a month, and have done some sub jobs since the announcement. I am also looking for new band opportunities, but am enjoying not having to drive the snow covered roads on Saturday nights for now.

Music is a life long interest, so I suspect you will be back after a well deserved break. Till then, enjoy the time off.

Thump on,

One_Dude

 

[imdkoz]

Did a very similar thing about 7 months ago. Great 3 piece that I owned all the PA, ran sound, sang 95% of the songs and have a full time IT job. Got totally burnt out playing all the time and said I'm done. I only miss it when I'm out watching friends but other than that not really. Getting together with a guitar player friend to see if we gel and if I want to start again. But I'm really enjoying not learning songs I would normally not play and having my weekends off.

 

[Ekulati]

Maybe you need a baritone ukulele and a grassy field. Anyway, there are options.

That's what I was gonna say. Play something ELSE. Bass isn't always what it's cracked up to be. (Uh oh, flame suit on!)

 

[ZAR14]

I've been there before...
Back in the early 90s I decided to pursue other interests (Airbrushing) and put playing music on the back burner. What I thought was only going to be a short period of time turned in to close to 15 yrs.
I got the urge to play music again in the mid/late 2000s and built a nice collection of gear.
I shook the rust off and decided to seek out other musicians to either form or join a band. What I found to be unfortunate was that alot of the Bad Attitudes and Egos that we had in our 20 was still evident in people in their 40s and 50s. Over the last 4-5 yrs it has become very difficult to get together with people and I have started loosing the desire to play...Again.
I can go months without picking up a Bass or Guitar....

 

[joebar]

I’ve been contemplating hanging up my spurs for good as well.
I’m not enjoying any aspect of music anymore