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Man Laws II
- Thread starter iamlowsound
- Start date
Again, the second point of Dr. Smagg.
So I'd like to propose this for a man law:
There is no such thing as 'awkward silence' when you have your junk out next to another dude who has his junk out. When you're using the urinal, there's no talking.
DrSmagg said:
So I'd like to propose this for a man law:
There is no such thing as 'awkward silence' when you have your junk out next to another dude who has his junk out. When you're using the urinal, there's no talking.
No talking at urinals?
It seems like the most intimidated make a lot of fuzz about a situation where they timid and feel akward.
I never had that problem. I have no reason to be so timid and intimidated at a joint unrinal visit.
It seems like the most intimidated make a lot of fuzz about a situation where they timid and feel akward.
I never had that problem. I have no reason to be so timid and intimidated at a joint unrinal visit.
Does this apply to absolutely every situation? Are you allowed to continue a conversation you were having before you reached the urinals?
I'd like add these as an addendum
to this
Actually come to think of it. I think the awkward silence clause is already covered by 4a. So scratch that. It also covers the conversations already in place question too.
and...
Man Law 4c. When you shake you shouldn't see urine flying beyond the confines of your own urinal.
Man Law 4d. Do not over-exaggerate the shake. You are not impressing anyone and you look like a tool.
Man Law 4e. Don't walk up to the urinal and rip a giant fart, then turn to me and make a joke about it.
Man Law 4f. At no point should your arms be dangling alongside your body with your schlong un-tethered. Leave the circus act at home, or take your little show on the road. Standing like "Superman" is not allowed either.
Man Law 4g. When you are at the urinal do not answer your cell phone, or send a text with your Blackberry. You can wait a few more minutes to switch tracks to the new Bon Jovi tune, trust me. Keeping your mobile devices in your pocket not only reduces the chances of feces contamination by 1000%, but it also reduces the chances of getting yourself punched in the face by 10%.
Man Law 4h. Don't use the short urinal if you are 6'5", unless the others are all taken. It's not fair to your short brothers to have to stand on their tip-toes, with their nuts resting on the porcelain, just to take a piss.
EDIT: I think instead of making a new man law, I think 4a should be modified to read like this:
Man Law 4a. No striking up NEW conversations while working the urinals... Eyes straight ahead, focused and ALL business. There's no such thing as 'awkward silence' when you have your junk out next to another dude who has his junk out.
DrSmagg said:
to this
Man Laws said:
Actually come to think of it. I think the awkward silence clause is already covered by 4a. So scratch that. It also covers the conversations already in place question too.
and...
Man Law 4c. When you shake you shouldn't see urine flying beyond the confines of your own urinal.
Man Law 4d. Do not over-exaggerate the shake. You are not impressing anyone and you look like a tool.
Man Law 4e. Don't walk up to the urinal and rip a giant fart, then turn to me and make a joke about it.
Man Law 4f. At no point should your arms be dangling alongside your body with your schlong un-tethered. Leave the circus act at home, or take your little show on the road. Standing like "Superman" is not allowed either.
Man Law 4g. When you are at the urinal do not answer your cell phone, or send a text with your Blackberry. You can wait a few more minutes to switch tracks to the new Bon Jovi tune, trust me. Keeping your mobile devices in your pocket not only reduces the chances of feces contamination by 1000%, but it also reduces the chances of getting yourself punched in the face by 10%.
Man Law 4h. Don't use the short urinal if you are 6'5", unless the others are all taken. It's not fair to your short brothers to have to stand on their tip-toes, with their nuts resting on the porcelain, just to take a piss.
EDIT: I think instead of making a new man law, I think 4a should be modified to read like this:
Man Law 4a. No striking up NEW conversations while working the urinals... Eyes straight ahead, focused and ALL business. There's no such thing as 'awkward silence' when you have your junk out next to another dude who has his junk out.
I would like to add a man law. I do not know if it is already covered, but it needs to be said:
Always offer to buy/pay for the beer/cigarettes/Taco Bell etc. at least once. Excessive mooching show signs of self-insufficiency, which requires the loss of the man card.
Always offer to buy/pay for the beer/cigarettes/Taco Bell etc. at least once. Excessive mooching show signs of self-insufficiency, which requires the loss of the man card.
This depends. How long were you talking? How many other people are in the bathroom? Does the conversation involve pens, hoses, posts or any other phallic imagery?
I have a question regarding this whole talking whilst urinating business.
Let's say I'm drunk in someone's back yard and me and a mate need to relieve ourselves at the same time, so we do so on a fence or in a bush. I would normally continue to talk during these sorts of moments, would this be acceptable given that we are not in the mens room and (being drunk) the conversation has a 70% chance of being about breasts?
By the way, here in Australia such moments are known as a "Team Slash".
Let's say I'm drunk in someone's back yard and me and a mate need to relieve ourselves at the same time, so we do so on a fence or in a bush. I would normally continue to talk during these sorts of moments, would this be acceptable given that we are not in the mens room and (being drunk) the conversation has a 70% chance of being about breasts?
By the way, here in Australia such moments are known as a "Team Slash".
"Man Law 4. Minimum 1 U urinal separation at all times unless no more separation is available."
Potential amendment or addition of subsection 4i: Never take the middle urinal of a 3 urinal set-up. Allows for maintaining the 1 urinal buffer zone (once again, unless all others are taken). When in competition, 1 round of rock paper scissors is permissible, with the loser banished to the buffer urinal.
Potential amendment or addition of subsection 4i: Never take the middle urinal of a 3 urinal set-up. Allows for maintaining the 1 urinal buffer zone (once again, unless all others are taken). When in competition, 1 round of rock paper scissors is permissible, with the loser banished to the buffer urinal.
I don't care who you are, you will feel like more of a man if you're wearing a wifebeater tucked into your jeans.
As long as one or both of you lets out a fart while talking, I'd say that's acceptable.
