Well, I'm a bassist who is totally dedicated to a songwriter/guitarist with whom I play. We met in a bar cover band a couple years ago. That didn't last long, and the two of us have worked on his originals and covers and played together since then.
We picked up a drummer. Personally and musically it wasn't the best match, but it did help us to get our band together. Well, we decided to dump him after one too many head bumps and have been looking for the next one. We're getting some great gigs and folks really like us, but the drummers that we have used seem to want to speed up our songs. The first drummer was a lot more able to follow us and we had a great show, but he wasn't able to be there for the next one so we practiced with another guy we know who is in a real popular local band. It went fine, and it seemed that we were all on the same page, but when we went for the gig it seemed like he just decided that our songs needed to go way faster and he pretty much just took the lead. In his band this works just fine but ...
Anyway, after listening back to the recording, I told my guitar player my best idea (in my old school ways), which was that I was going to have to hurt one of 'em. We live in a pretty small northern California area, so everybody would know about it and either drummers wouldn't play with us or, if they did, they wouldn't mess with me (the tempo nazi).
Well, my band mate thought a metronome might be a better option! Okay, so is it rude to measure a song, set the metronome, and put it in front of the drummer? I don't know about the norm, but we really don't need someone to lead us, we need someone to follow us. For now I promise not to punch any body. Any suggestions? Thanks.