I mean, I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic or an addict, but mostly every day for the past 6 years has been work - lunch - work - smoke - 3-4 nights a week drink. A few times the drinking has gotten to an almost problematic point, but I just haven't been able to afford it the past few months, and the past several weeks have been very cleansing for me on both a mental and physical level.
I've actually smoked a twice with my girl over the past month, but really I think it's the booze that was clouding my head. I've had a case in the fridge that's been there for the greater part of 20 days, and I just don't feel like it's something I need to reintroduce into my life at this point. I definitely miss the after work pints with co-workers and friends, but I never really recognized it as a problem because I did it as a social thing, not necessarily to escape or forget anything.
I think there are two big positives in my life that have helped me with this. The biggest being my girlfriend, she's an angel and I love her to death. I'm so happy when I'm with her I don't feel the need to relax by drinking or smoking all the time (I think it's funnier to laugh at her when she smokes than to be on her level haha)
The other big positive is writing music. I haven't sat down and had to write out parts for other bandmates before, and it's such tedious work. I don't want to do it if I get drunk or stoned, and I still hate it sober, but I can concentrate better when my mind isn't going in 10 million other directions because I've been drinking or smoking. I'm starting to get to the point where I can write parts on paper without having to have a bass or guitar next to me to play the melody first, and I feel this is my greatest motivation right now. I love being able to use my pen as my tool, it's much more efficient, and I'm afraid if I fall back into my old patterns that I'll lose this new ability I've acquired.
