More gems from the Onion!

Fantastic.

 

That was a very amusing read.

 

Awesome!

 

This one deserves a bump.

 

The second I put my bass gig bag over my shoulder and walk around on campus, suddenly more people look at me, probably wondering what kind of music I play. Except I always get stuff like:

Them: "What kind of guitar is that?"
Me: "It's a bass, actually."
Them: either says "oh" and they're done, or... "Is it a Fender?"
Me: "No, it's a Musicman Stingray."
Them: either says "oh" and they're done, or... "You should get a Fender."

My bass playing brings all the people to the bar,
They're like, "Do you have a Fender?"
I'm like, "No, I have a Musicman."
"I could teach you, but...*cuts in* "No I don't want lessons. You should get a Fender."

Nah nah, nah nah, nah.
Get a Fender.

Bored at work, attempt at humor potentially failed.

 

after band practice, we went to the pub. drummer says, do i want to put the case in his car? no thanks, I say.

one of the backing singer girls: 'he wants to be seen carrying it'

she was only half right...

 

A friend of mine has a shirt from the onion.

You guys ever seen those Che shirts with the stylized Guerillero Heronico (I.e. That famous picture of Che) on them? My friend's Onion shirt has a picture of Che (in Guerillero Heronico pose) wearing one of those shirts on it. Hilarious.

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread.

 

Yeah, the case is a weirdo magnet on the train around here. Any time I take my bass anywhere, I get at least 2 or 3 hobos/crazies/random shady dudes trying to follow me around and talk my ear off or ask me questions. Headphones and a book are absolutely required.

 

As a teenager I thought I looked cool. Most people actually don't give crap.

Unless you pull out the guitar and start strumming and singing, if it is remotely good, then they will turn around and you can even make a few bucks in a big city this way.

Then you look cool.

Music does make people happy, that's one of the positive things that make me happy and prevent me for thinking this world totally sucks. That and hot chicas.

 

The joke is on us: THERE IS NO GUITAR IN THE GIG BAG!

 

Yeah, I totally get that too. They start telling me about when they used to play with BB King... and they had a '64 Precision ... and an Ampeg SVT ... tube amp, bro, tubes are the best ...

 

I have that shirt too. Lots of double takes.

 

I love the onion.

Funniest story I saw was the one about Obama where the story said "some black guy is asking for change" .. he keeps telling me he wants dang change. He's standing out in the crowd asking everyone for change.

LOL that was so hiliarious.

 

Similar: "Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job"
http://www.theonion.com/articles/black-man-given-nations-worst-job,6439/

 

Funny but let's not even go there, we decided to keep politics out of TB.

I do visit HuffPo every day, though. People of both sides going at in in the forum, I don't even post, I just make myself a bowl of popcorn and read.

 

No, let's go ahead and bring politics into this thread, though many fellow TB'ers would consider this to be "taboo."

http://www.theonion.com/video/congressmen-submit-emergency-3-am-bill-demanding-i,17473/

 

I can't get to the Onion from my work computer, but do a search for: "National Funk Congress Deadlocked On Get Up/Get Down Issue" - hilarious.

 

At school, carrying my bass is a b*tch through the crowds. People usually curse me out instead of being interested.

 

Personally, I thought this was a great onion story:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ro...llowing-just-doe,18137/?utm_source=recentnews