Most pitiful thing youve ever seen a bassist do live

[dreads311]

Getting dressed as Elmo for a charity gig might be a fun thing to do, but under lights it gets a little warm and I fainted.

Hah! Saw a local metal band a while ago. Singer/guitarist belts out a long extended scream. Must've let out too much air. His knees got wobbly and BOOM! Head first right off the stage. He came to and was fine, so I don't feel bad about laughing about it. (Not a bass story, I know, but still fitting).

 

[HeavyJazz]

Bass Day '98 (I think - the second one anyway) where they drug out an ancient Hispanic or Cuban player of sorts who could barely play at all, but a headlining guest insisted he be there - who inevitably fawned all over him. I really felt sorry for the guy... Uncomfortable.

 

[RS66LB]

My most pathetic story is from when I played guitar, not bass...

I was playing electric guitar in a university jazz ensemble (15-piece horn section, drums, piano, bass, and me). We had our first concert of the semester with 1,500 people in attendance. Our first song was a groovy jazz-fusion piece called Island of Introspection. After a 4-bar piano intro, I was supposed to come in with a shimmery Bsus2 chord along with the rest of the rhythm section. Well, the moment came, I hit the chord, and... I realize I forgot to turn on my freaking amp. I just kept playing like everything was fine, and when there was a pause in my part I flipped the amp on. And tried not to let my face glow red for the rest of the show.

lol! great story and thanks for sharing it

 

[chazmosis]

Some great stories one here. Here's one of mine (my first post): In the band I was part of in the early 90's the guitarist/leader flatly refused to use a set list, he always wanted to "read the crowd" then just call out the next song with like 2 seconds notice like JB. Problem was he was usually pretty stoned and the drummer and I didn't always hear him, so he'd take off with his guitar part alone while the rest of us stood in silence until we could figure out *** he was playing. I was always embarrassed to be part of that chaos...

 

[viper4000]

Not bass playing, but sousaphone playing....it's all the same right?

I played sousaphone in my high school marching band. We were asked to come play at Sea World for some special weekend in the middle of the summer (I can't remember that far back!!). We get there line up, march in and start playing. I violated the first rule of line formation...I locked my knees. About 3/4 way through a song I blacked out. The last thing I remember I was at about a 45 degree angle falling into a girl playing sax in front of me. I knocked her out when my bell hit her int he head. So there we both are in the middle of the formation laying there unconscious. I woke up in the Sea World infirmary. I only got to see Shamu for like 5 minutes because of that. I was bummed.

But seeing the video of a 6'3" 220 lb sousaphone player literally wipe out like that was pretty funny. Plus seeing the bell of that horn after the fact...would make any rational tuba player sick.

 

[Drunk Heffalump]

Had a gig where there was a last minute addition of another band by the promoter. How late you ask? Well I found out when this sad sack pair approach the stage with my guitarist in tow, as he's in Cheshire Cat mode I figure this has got to be good.

" Uh....dude....uh can we maybe borrow some stuff?'
"Like what?' I say
" Um.... can he" points to diddlyboob bassist in tow and doing the best Silent Bob impression ever " Borrow your amp, and a cable and a strap?"
Now amps I get, and if forewarned MIGHT have some sympathy, but a &*@^%$ STRAP?
No no and no are my quick reply, and before you get to hating, it's wired in stereo, it's wireless and I'm always strap-locked.
At this point guitarist cracks up and says he'll lend a hand, they light up thinking the day is saved until he hands them a piece of paper with directions to the nearest music store, which actually was open and really very close, but still who the *&)(&% goes to a show without a %$@#&* STRAP?????

 

[JDLowEnd]

I used to have a blast playing shows and would kind of try and wear something to get the crowd laughing. I ended up with a girls volleyball jersey, a pair of high socks and some real sort cut off jean shorts, I know I am painting an ugly picture here. Anyways I do a dip/lunge sort of move and my jean shorts split all the way through the crotch in the front. Pretty much stood there in my boxer briefs, my guitarist comes over and continues to rip off the rest of the shorts until I was ACTUALLY playing in my underwear, and a volleyball jersey. The crowd loved it, so I guess I succeeded in entertainment, my playing might make up for my gig apparel.

 

[TolerancEJ]

I used to have a blast playing shows and would kind of try and wear something to get the crowd laughing. I ended up with a girls volleyball jersey, a pair of high socks and some real sort cut off jean shorts, I know I am painting an ugly picture here. Anyways I do a dip/lunge sort of move and my jean shorts split all the way through the crotch in the front. Pretty much stood there in my boxer briefs, my guitarist comes over and continues to rip off the rest of the shorts until I was ACTUALLY playing in my underwear, and a volleyball jersey. The crowd loved it, so I guess I succeeded in entertainment, my playing might make up for my gig apparel.

One time I wore a 1-piece pajama/suit. It was a very unique design made for me. I would have worn it live again but it was SO hot especially with the lights. I could feel my whole body sweating.

 

[tinman 1967]

My most pathetic story is from when I played guitar, not bass...

I was playing electric guitar in a university jazz ensemble (15-piece horn section, drums, piano, bass, and me). We had our first concert of the semester with 1,500 people in attendance. Our first song was a groovy jazz-fusion piece called Island of Introspection. After a 4-bar piano intro, I was supposed to come in with a shimmery Bsus2 chord along with the rest of the rhythm section. Well, the moment came, I hit the chord, and... I realize I forgot to turn on my freaking amp. I just kept playing like everything was fine, and when there was a pause in my part I flipped the amp on. And tried not to let my face glow red for the rest of the show.

Yep.... Being a long time motorcycle rider, I can identify with this one, kick stand "almost" down doesnt count....

 

[Wadge]

Yep.... Being a long time motorcycle rider, I can identify with this one, kick stand "almost" down doesnt count....

Absolutely brilliant line

 

[blueflamerick]

who the *&)(&% goes to a show without a %$@#&* STRAP?????

I keep a Hello Kitty strap in my gear pack to lend to anyone that forgets his strap. They usually only forget once.

 

[eukatheude]

I once played Smoke on the water while wearing boots, military pants and headbanging the whole thing through, occasionally shredding random notes and playing hard on my B string whenever i had the chance.

 

[hernameisrio]

...I want a Hello Kitty strap!

 

[The Owl]

Had a gig where there was a last minute addition of another band by the promoter. How late you ask? Well I found out when this sad sack pair approach the stage with my guitarist in tow, as he's in Cheshire Cat mode I figure this has got to be good.

" Uh....dude....uh can we maybe borrow some stuff?'
"Like what?' I say
" Um.... can he" points to diddlyboob bassist in tow and doing the best Silent Bob impression ever " Borrow your amp, and a cable and a strap?"
Now amps I get, and if forewarned MIGHT have some sympathy, but a &*@^%$ STRAP?
No no and no are my quick reply, and before you get to hating, it's wired in stereo, it's wireless and I'm always strap-locked.
At this point guitarist cracks up and says he'll lend a hand, they light up thinking the day is saved until he hands them a piece of paper with directions to the nearest music store, which actually was open and really very close, but still who the *&)(&% goes to a show without a %$@#&* STRAP?????

LMAO uncontrollably!!!!!!

 

[DrSpunkwater]

Most pitiful thing I ever witnessed a bass player do was playing an entire song in the wrong key. Apparently, the guy (BL) who wrote the setlist wrote the wrong key on one of the songs. He notified his players of the mistake before the show. Except for the bass player. Who happened to be me.

I probably sound like a jerk saying this, but a good player would pick up pretty quickly that his band mates are playing in a different key. The "mud butt" sound is a huge tip-off.

 

[autodidact]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&NR=1&v=-M1H7mlslfk

Not a bassist, but, This ones great!

I saw a bass player in the Edgar Winter Band whip around real fast on a small stage and clip Edgar in the forehead with a Fender P Bass headstock. Edgar, who is a bit of a bleeder (and a baby to boot) had to coaxed back on stage by me and Leon Russell (I was the stage manager; it was all quite surreal). I think the bassist should have known that you gotta chill on a small, crowded stage when you're working for an albino bleeder.

These reminded me, I was watching an old Bury Your Dead concert on TV a while ago and their guitard did one of those little flippy doodles and smacked their singer right in the back of the head. This was about the 2nd or 3rd song in so dude just took off his T-shirt and held it to the back of his head for the rest of the show, still running around like a maniac. Ended up driving to the ER to get staples but only after the gig was finished. Sheer bad assery.

The most pitiful thing I've seen a bassist do was while doing a cover of Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry, he hyperextended his right knee and literally face planted on the stage.... In front of about 800 people. He ended up tearing his meniscus and MCL. He was carted off the the ER after his knee swelled up like a soccer ball within five minutes. Luckily there was a friend in the crowd that was able to sit in so the band could finish.

I had a great view of all of this too, because said bassist was ME!

This hits close to home, I the ore cartilage in my knee wrestling in high school, after a few months the doctor cleared me to run track [only because I lied a little about the pain, but hey...I was young and dumb]. The next show we played I took a wrong step right before we went on and *POP* knee got all warm and fuzzy. I had to play our set with most of my weight on one leg, kinda like Daniel San before he decided to go with the crane technique

 

[corinpills]

Not bass, but I really felt for this kid. I was judging a high school battle of the bands and this quartet of 15 year olds played "Bomb Track" by Rage Against The Machine- which I thought a pretty intense choice. A lot of the other acts were girls lip synching to Taylor Swift songs and much more mainstream. The lead singer was throwing himself all over the place during the intro and all his classmates were all pumped up. They built up that intro figure and the guitar player threw this giant pose and leapt onto his distortion pedal like a super hero and...the battery was dead. Nothing came out and the bass player and singer whipped around on him like. "***?", he dove to his knees trying to get it to work and all his friends laughed at him. He eventually came in and played the song Oma completely clean sound with a hangdog expression on his face, standing totally still.

 

[bjabass]

Another non bass player story but really was funny. We were doing a gig with another (young) band playing before us, they were doing their sound check and the sound guy says through the talk back mike "you need to bring the guitar up on stage'....the guitar player took two steps forward......

 

[Astreaux]

I keep a Hello Kitty strap in my gear pack to lend to anyone that forgets his strap. They usually only forget once.

+1

 

[iridiumrocks]

The really pitiful thing is that the Jack Daniels bottle contained iced tea. He did it because he thought people would think he was cool if he could down a bottle of Jack.

I always wondered about that too. There is no way you could down an entire bottle of Jack and still function. I saw a video on That Metal Show from the 80's when they were doing a tour of his gear. He had a rolling cabinet with drawers full of gear. They pulled out one of the drawers and it had nothing but bottles of Jack. I always assumed the bottles were stage props filled with iced tea or something that looked like Jack.