music is an aphrodesiac

[Chicory Blue]

But basses are bigger than guitars... shouldn't the bass player be top dog of the band, in your theory?

Though, now that you mention it, I am super proud of the fact that “mine is bigger.” Every time I reluctantly pass my Ray over to a guitarist who’s asked to see it and watch him grunt in surprise from how heavy it is, I feel so very powerful. What, this old thing? Heavy? I certainly don’t feel it. ;p

--^@

 

[Chicory Blue]

Ewww, I don't want it anywhere near my waste.

Oof. Sorry! I’m too sober to type correctly. Edited!

--^@

 

[Don Hergert]

My wife and I met 46 years ago, both playing with different bands at a gig. We started doing music together then at that gig and haven't stopped yet.

I've never had someone throw themselves at me, I suspect people can tell I'm taken. Banjo is my main instrument, so maybe that also has something to do with it. I also generally don't play in bars, that also may have something to do with it.

 

[Nevada Pete]

Hmmm.

Well all I can add to this discussion is something a former girlfriend once told me. She said the women seated on barstools could feel the bass notes vibrating through their seats. Not sure how that ties in with your visual symbolism theory, but she seemed to think it was important.

At least, we can all now rationalize if the ladies aren't up and dancing...

They like Harley Davidson motorcycles too.

Okay, since I love TalkBass so much, I'm going to break my Primary Directive and reveal the secret to anybody who is interested. Ladies will let you know with a "look" when they want you to approach them. There's no rhyme or reason to it. They just do. From that point on, its just a matter of whether they decide they like you personally, or not, after they meet you. You'd be surprised how little age has to do with it sometimes. It doesn't really matter that much what you say in the way of cute lines, etc., when chatting them up. So you might as well just be yourself. Your more personable that way. If you approach a lady without such non-verbal approbation, chances are you will get nowhere fast because the lady you approached will think you are a dweeb for not knowing how the game is played. Most guys I know totally miss most of their opportunities because they don't realize they are being invited to start a conversation. When I see this happening, one non-verbal look from me like: "What, this guy doesn't like you. Well I do!", is often enough to do the trick. Ladies like to be flattered, but not overtly. They see through that. They are non-verbal creatures. You're very welcome for telling you the secret of how to befriend the ladies. It's just that simple. Remember, the fewer guys that know this, the better it is for those of us who do.

Note: Practice the above at a biker bar at your own peril. Biker chicks sometimes like to come on to guys to make their boyfriends (who are prone to violence) jealous. This can lead to getting stabbed, etc. Just saying.

 

[Kaplan]

I did not intend it, but it worked. A really attractive woman came and talked to me after a gig. Since then we are in a wonderful relationship. But maybe it has nothing to do with the bass playing.

 

[Crash 56]

I’ve actually got a super stupid theory about why some instruments are considered “sexier” than others. It’s juvenile and asinine and I am 100% certain it’s true.

Consider this:

Guy holding guitar- super cool, obviously.

Guy standing at keyboard- somehow less cool, even though they’re playing the same song and the keyboardist might even be playing better. At a mere glance, he just isn’t as rad for some reason.

Guy on alto or tenor sax: literal definition of cool.

Exact same guy on soprano sax, clarinet or oboe: who is this geek?

What’s the pattern here? Phallic imagery.

Laugh now, then think about it.

The typical axeman has his guitar somewhere right around or near waist level, with the neck pointing diagonally upwards. Eh? Eh?

Now consider those among our ilk who choose to hold our basses closer to chest level, and what huge nerds we resemble when we do that. A fella might as well be pulling his belt up to his chest! Keeping the neck of the instrument at a suggestive level directly correlates with your lute of choice’s perception of coolness. Unless it’s a ukulele, which just seems innately comedic for some reason.

Now dig on those saxes. What makes a tenor sax so much cooler than a soprano? What makes the general perception of a saxophone so sultry and bluesy while an equally-capable clarinet is seen as a joke, frequently appearing in cartoons as a jab against a character’s masculinity?

I posit it’s the bell. The iconic saxophone’s bell curves upward at waist level while the other aforementioned woodwinds do not.

I don’t make the rules, people- I’m just observing it objectively: Phallic imagery makes an instrument cool.

“But Chicory, you insufferable mad turkeyfish, what about women playing these instruments?”

Well, phantasmal critic, I imagine if my theory were true, a woman observed playing these subconsciously masculine instruments might risk (or embrace) being seen as tomboyish, rebellious, self-reliant and counter-establishment, labels which I’m eyerollingly certain have never been associated with female musicians of any sort, least of all guitarists and bassists, whilst our sisters tooting on flutes and lovingly caressing their violins retain their apparent femininity in society’s eyes.

Anyway. That’s my theory. Crazy? Yes. Stupid? Absolutely. Wrong? Well...

I dunno man. Just something to ponder over.

--^@

I agree with most of your theory , but have you seen the lady that plays saxophone for Bryan Ferry? Absolutely stunning!

 

[clockworkcorpse]

Ewww, I don't want it anywhere near my waste.

I want to like this post twice.

 

[gumtown]

I've never had someone throw themselves at me, I suspect people can tell I'm taken. Banjo is my main instrument, so maybe that also has something to do with it.

I think Banjo is an exception where it may imply incest.
But then ya never know,
you may get the type throw themselves at you that are "if she 'aint good enough for her own family, she 'aint good enough for ours" Gyuck !! Gyuck !! Gyuck !! Haw Haw.

 

[dbsfgyd1]

I didn't start playing bass so girls would talk to me, but damn if that isn't what happened. As a fairly awkward adolescent, it was intoxicating. Girls smell good when you get up close to them. Who knew?

If you have power, notoriety or make your living on the stage, you get groupies. It seems to transcend genre or discipline. There's certainly downsides, like unwanted attention or being too immature to deal with it. You should be required to take "Dealing With Fans" classes along side bass lessons.

Most of us here are probably heterosexual males, but I bet a dollar it works no matter who you are or which way you're plugged in. Bless you, music.

No real conclusions, other than it doesn't happen quite as much fifty years later ;-)

I found that being a musician did give me a leg up meeting girls. Also not being a jerk helped as well. That said, Pretty much as a whole, every female I ran across had a crap relationship, or no relationship with their father and were looking to me ( Me?? Of all people, sheesh! ) for validation.

 

[Killed_by_Death]

I've got zero input on this, being the most androgynous person I know. (long-haired freaky person)