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My Band Staged A Coup

#21
You need to demonstrate that you are the band leader. Also, I would have auditions for a new drummer behind his back, then show up with a new guy and say "Hi. this guy's replacing you." Also have a rythym guitar as backup.

ON TOPIC:
I'm sorry but this band seems to be falling down around you. I say get the original drummer back and start from scratch. Take your songs and band name and tell the drummer he's fired.
 
#23
I thought all the musicians over there were all chilled out :D
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But seriously, you're a member/song writer/manager/booking agent. Why are you waisting your time with these people??? You MUST have met some level-headed musicians along the way. Get your stuff, get your songs, and get the heck away from those people.
 
#24
Maybe studying leadership will be of some help here. Letting other people make decisions for you kinda points to the possibility that maybe you're not management material.

Since it was "your" band, when your band mates started doing stuff w/o your approval, they should have been fired on the spot.

Otherwise, it's not "your" band.
 
#25
Is it just me or my experiences that hardcore,punk,metal or hard rock music bands have allot of ugly band break ups and violent crazy type band members?
I have heard several stories kinda like this with stolen equipment, fights and the same behind the back games in my area metal type bands. Not that lighter bands dont do it but maybe there is a little less anger and the players are less hostile towards one another?
 
#27
SLIV said:
Like all relationships, every band has problems. I can't believe the things I put up with in the past that I refuse today. You'll look back at this later and laugh.... but it will take a while. Good luck.
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go get your gear,register all your intellectual property,and find some guys to start again.....you are lucky to find out now before you invest any more time and money
 
#28
A few others have said the same thing, but I'm wondering how it is that you met up with this collection of humanity. Unless there are details that you aren't mentioning this seems like another TB thread where I wonder where these people come from.

I've been in a bunch of bands and been through some rough times and breakups but nothing like some of the threads I've seen around here. People plotting behind your back to kick you out of your own band and then asking if you'll continue to book them gigs and let them use your equipment?

WTH man?
 
#29
Man, thats some drama right there!

Here's my advice to you: Wash your hands of this situation... entirely. Just walk away, let them keep the name, the songs, everything! The drummer will ruin that band for good, so let him. Get your gear and start over. This time, dont use friends, and dont let anyone have any pull over you, remember that its YOUR band and its YOUR WAY or the HIGHWAY.

A side story to put some of this in perspective for you (I know Ive put my previous bands drama out there already, so I won't go too much into it):

My band broke up. We were an Improv band, 3/5 of that band wanted to write music while still doing the Improv thing. I wasnt so down with that, and after a lot of behind the back style drama I decided it needed to end. The 5 of us met up, had some words to air the drama, I told the guitarist & drummer I didnt want to play with them anymore, and the key player was with them (in the side project). So, that was that. I found some new guys to play with and 3 days later played our first show, it went alright. Last Friday (8 days after the breakup) we played our second show. The guitarist & drummer were both there to show support, and we all had good times together, and they both said that we sounded good that night.

It doesnt always have to be so dramatic, and band breakups are not the end-all, be-all they may seem to be.
 
#30
ok hold up, I'm confused here...to recap,
1. you started the band, lead guitard moves out of state 5 months later

2. you restarted the band with your old rhythm guitarist

3. you found a drummer, your rhythm guy went to lead guitar and you found a new rhythm guitarist and a vocalist. so now you have a complete band

4. vocalist brings in a buddy of his, a drummer, who thought that he was supposed to be replacing your drummer.
Who made the decision to replace the drummer in the first place? I didn't see anything about the drummer being a problem or anything saying he was planning on leaving.

5. Old drummer sees the new guy and quits, right then and there. Who let this new drummer in? if you're the band leader you should have told this other drummer right then and there, piss off and showed him and the vocalist the door.


6. So you start gigging with this new drummer, just let your old guy walk out for no reason. then this drummer proceeds to be a primadonna dn the rest of the band is ok with it? now the new drummer who is a "buddy" of the singer wants to oust the singer??

7. on top of that this drummer decides he is getting rid of you too? and yet somehow the guitards are following hitler?
Then they steal your band name, your songs and your gear?

I'm sorry but i gotta tell ya, theres gotta be a whole hell of alot more to this story. Plus as the band leader how did you just let some new guy that you didnt even know was going to replace your drummer just waltz on in and replace him? then he takes over your band but yet somehow the rest of the band is ok with that?

otherwise the way it should have gone down...
vocalist shows up with new drummer...you pull the vocalist aside ask him *** he thinks he is doing, tell him the original drummer stays, you show this new drummer and the vocalist the door. You smooth things over with the drummer and start auditioning new vocalists...the end
 
#31
It's not quite as complicated as you want it to be.

I am pretty nonconfrontational, try to go with the flow. The original drummer was supposed to be leaving the islands at the end of the year, and we'd all wondered aloud how we'd replace him as drummers are hard to come by out here. That was the vox's cue, I guess.

I found everybody originally via CL, as is the norm for the 'I don't know anybody in the scene' types like me at that point in time.

Continuation of the story:

I informed them that I would be keeping the name and my songs and that they needed to move on since their 'new direction' was no longer even what the band was to begin with and that they were a whole new band.

That brought a lot more drama. Guitarists and drummer were pissed. Vox was willing to let it go. Drummer shows up at my house drunk, followed shortly thereafter by housing security and the police. Drummer gets citation for disturbing the peace and drunk and disorderly, but they didn't witness him driving so they couldn't DUI him.

New bassist, I dunno. Vox tells me he stormed away from studio practice time, and that lead isn't eve showing up to practice any more, and rhythm wants to cancel shows. Vox is trying to start something new, wants me in. I declined.

Kinda just enjoying playing by myself again for a while, while I organize my own shows. Got an off-island one coming up next month, and am planning a benefit show for the children of homeless families in September.
 
#33
Jimmy Bones said:
I am pretty nonconfrontational, try to go with the flow.
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As the leader of a band, IMO, you should be directing the "flow" instead of being washed about by it.

Speaking up for yourself, in and of itself, does not make a "confrontation", it's just good business.

Seeing it as a confrontation is your interpretation of the situation. When you are the leader of anything, the other members expect you to speak up, make decisions and give direction, etc. Otherwise you are a leader in name only. As soon as the others find out you're not speaking up, you will have a rebellion on your hand soon enough.
 
#35
I've seen a few tantrums in my day.

For me, any band member who "throws a tantrum" should be recommended by me for immediate probation, regardless of musical skill. That kind of static makes things too unpleasant. Yelling and screaming about not getting your way shows a tremendous lack of willingness to cooperate. If I can't get along with someone personally, so much harder to gel musically.


The only exception would be a band leader who is paying me well, but even then...
 
#36
Hawaii Islander said:
Invite them to go Opihi picking on the Big Island! :smug:
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I must be the only one that got that. For those uninitiated, Opihi picking is the dangerous practice of harvesting tasty sea snail creatures called Opihi. It requires getting low in the surf to pull 'em off the rocks and you've got to turn your back to the ocean. Back to the ocean + rocks = death. I've never had the pleasure but that's how it was explained to me.

The only comment I have on the original post is that those guys sure were dumb to piss off the guy that did the bookings and wrote the songs and owned the band name.
 
#39
MatticusMania said:
So, OP, any updates?
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Not really.

I still don't have a band, but I decided to try to join someone else's project rather than rebuild my own for now. Looking into a ska/punk originals thing, a numetal thing, and a classic rock style thing.

As far as my band goes, they refused to lose the name, though they agreed to stop playing my songs once they've finished writing their own crap. Everybody in my network who matters (other promoters and such) are all aware of what happened and all recognize me as the guy behind the name. The majority of them won't cooperate with them if they try to get shows now.

I repurposed my band name into a production/promotion outfit name. Using it to organize small monthly shows under a name besides my personal name. Have an off-island show in August, and working to organize a charity show for September (just invited Spinal Tap to come play, still waiting to see if they'll play ball. :D ).

That's more or less it.
 
#40
Jimmy Bones said:
Not really.

I still don't have a band, but I decided to try to join someone else's project rather than rebuild my own for now. Looking into a ska/punk originals thing, a numetal thing, and a classic rock style thing.

As far as my band goes, they refused to lose the name, though they agreed to stop playing my songs once they've finished writing their own crap. Everybody in my network who matters (other promoters and such) are all aware of what happened and all recognize me as the guy behind the name. The majority of them won't cooperate with them if they try to get shows now.

I repurposed my band name into a production/promotion outfit name. Using it to organize small monthly shows under a name besides my personal name. Have an off-island show in August, and working to organize a charity show for September (just invited Spinal Tap to come play, still waiting to see if they'll play ball. :D ).

That's more or less it.
Click to expand...

Which island?
 

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