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My Wife Died Yesterday
- Thread starter Solarmist
- Start date
I am so sorry to hear this too. My father recently passes, and while losing a parent is nothing like losing a spouse, I can understand a sympathize with you. Good luck, be strong, but also grieve too. It is OK to feel anger and sadness, and it will be OK to feel joy again one day too.
I am sending my love your way!
I am sending my love your way!
- Dec 21, 2007
- 15,235
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- Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
Wow. I am still floored by this - when I try to imagine losing my wife of nearly 20 years, I go to pieces.
I hope that you can find support through the grieving process, and that the love and support of your family and friends helps you to cope with this devastating loss.
Wishing you peace.
I hope that you can find support through the grieving process, and that the love and support of your family and friends helps you to cope with this devastating loss.
Wishing you peace.
She has systematic lupus, and had a surgery last week on her lower esophagus to help her to quit throwing up all the time.
I thought she would feel so much better, and ...... now she's dead. If the hospital just would have kept her a couple of days longer for observation.
She loves bass guitars too
You're both in my payers.
I had something similar happen in my life, or my Mother's to be exact. She had major rectal surgery after months of being beat-down with diarrhea, radiation, chemo, anemia, bladder infections, and the brutal pre-surgery bowel cleaning prep. [She's 78.] She was slated to stay in hospital for at least seven days; they sent her to the rehab home in five. She made zero progress in rehab because she became infected [likely bladder again] and her blood work looked bad [high white blood count, low hemoglobin....]. Oh, did I say she was dehydrated?
I thought her decline was due to the pain killers, so I tried to find out what, how much and when over the weekend. They found some BS reason not to tell me anything. Oh, did I mention on Friday they booked her for discharge [to home and my care] today?
Long story short, she should have stayed in hospital longer and this likely wouldn't have happened. She looked like hell not because of the drugs, but because she was dying. :scowl:
I think I'll cross-post this over in the "taking care of parents thread.
Thank you for posting her picture and for reaching out to us. We're all here for you. Very, very sad for your loss. My husband died four years ago and I know all too well the devastation. Words cannot describe the pain.
But little by little, I recovered. Can't say exactly how or when, although there were definitely defining moments along the way when I felt I'd entered a new chapter, so to speak. Putting one foot in front of the other was a supreme challenge at first. Then it got easier, and easier still.
Things came right for me eventually, but it's probably too soon to speak of that for you. Right now, you'll need to look after yourself, give yourself time, space, support, help, whatever you need in the moment to get through to the next moment. You may feel a little bit crazy for a while. That's okay. Let it all out. Don't hold in your grief, whatever you do. That will make everything so much harder to deal with. Having space is really important. One thing I was really grateful for after John died was the fact that I was now living alone, lonely though that was. I appreciated all the support I had, but I also really appreciated my alone time when I could "talk" to him, talk to the walls, cry, yell, dance, stare off into space, whatever. This is how the psyche heals itself from trauma. Go with your impulses and let yourself express whatever you need to. If you have some space to do that, it will help a lot. If you don't have space for yourself, you might consider getting away to someplace where that's possible for a bit of a retreat. Just a thought. In time you'll come back into balance, come back to yourself, feel stronger, and be able to go forward. PM me if there's anything I can help with. Trust me, it does get better in time. Support groups can also be really helpful, so don't be afraid to make contact there if that speaks to you at all.
Sending you prayers of love, healing and peace.
But little by little, I recovered. Can't say exactly how or when, although there were definitely defining moments along the way when I felt I'd entered a new chapter, so to speak. Putting one foot in front of the other was a supreme challenge at first. Then it got easier, and easier still.
Things came right for me eventually, but it's probably too soon to speak of that for you. Right now, you'll need to look after yourself, give yourself time, space, support, help, whatever you need in the moment to get through to the next moment. You may feel a little bit crazy for a while. That's okay. Let it all out. Don't hold in your grief, whatever you do. That will make everything so much harder to deal with. Having space is really important. One thing I was really grateful for after John died was the fact that I was now living alone, lonely though that was. I appreciated all the support I had, but I also really appreciated my alone time when I could "talk" to him, talk to the walls, cry, yell, dance, stare off into space, whatever. This is how the psyche heals itself from trauma. Go with your impulses and let yourself express whatever you need to. If you have some space to do that, it will help a lot. If you don't have space for yourself, you might consider getting away to someplace where that's possible for a bit of a retreat. Just a thought. In time you'll come back into balance, come back to yourself, feel stronger, and be able to go forward. PM me if there's anything I can help with. Trust me, it does get better in time. Support groups can also be really helpful, so don't be afraid to make contact there if that speaks to you at all.
Sending you prayers of love, healing and peace.
My sympathies. That is very sad. Be strong and be kind and nurse yourself. Take time out to heal. ATB
