Need Help!!!

[BayStateBass]

Okay, I'm hoping to get some suggestions and experience here. Please help me!

I have this new, green band I'm playing bass in. It's got so much potential but the members are so disjointed....

I guess I've been elected to be the manager of this band because I am the most organized, I show up prepared, and I'm going all the tech work with the PA system and each member is looking to me for direction. I didn't think this would work out this way; the drummer and rhythm player both have professional experience, but myself and the lead player are both "garage" guys. Don't know how many of you bass players managed your band, but i'm hoping you can help me. I'm in a 4 piece that has the ability to be so good it's scary....

This band started out as a jam band/garage band and originated with me and the lead player. I added the drummer, a guy I knew, and the rhythm player....who happens to be my father. Here are the names so it makes it easier.....

Rick- Lead guitar/vocals
Pat- Rhythm player/vocals- Pro experience, also my father
Jerry (me)- Bass and backing vocals
Ed- Drums- Pro experience

We originally set out to build a blues band that did some blues based classic rock covers and a lot of blues music. Rick and I practiced for a few weeks, we added Ed first, then Pat. Each member can do their part well but not everyone is on the same page. Ed and I can play for hours together but Rick is a loose cannon....very talented, very smart, very technical. Ed is a solid drummer who's easy to play with and I can sit on him all day long and hit his downbeats like it's a gift. They all are looking at me asking me to put some organization to this group.....UGH!!!!

Here are our issues....

1. Rick is just too loud. He's good, but even in practice we have to play VERY loud just to hear ourselves. He needs to turn down. Ed is attacking his drums like he hates them just to be heard. I'm pushing my 210 in a garage just to cut through the mix. Plus, Rick likes odd songs that nobody really knows and I'm not sure that they will be liked by an audience because, unless you like Freddie King, Blind Faith, or unusual Bob Dylan tunes....you won't know these songs.

2. Pat has a different idea of what our setlist should be. He's pushing to do more "southern rock" oriented music, and is trying to pull away from the blues foundation we originally intended to perform. All the songs are do-able, most are basic 1-4-5 songs, or 4 chord rock, but it's not where we wanted to go originally......but his input and pro experience has been good, not to mention the songs he wants to bring in only make our setlist stronger and he brings songs that make audiences happy. I never envisioned John Cougar's "Hurt So Good" as part of our setlist, but he seems to think it's a hit and we should do it. Not to mention Eddie Rabbit's "Driving My Life Away", and a few others. I can play all of these songs with no problem, most are pretty boring for me, but it's an easy group of songs for a bass player. In addition, Pat has certain ideas of how this should go, he's a "perfectionist", but that perfection is solely based on his opinion and how he feels each song should go. He's got great ideas and his work is great, but I don't thing the rest of us see these songs going the same way as he does.....but he's insistent that certain songs should progress and end the way he wants them to. For example, we do a cover of "Sweet Home Alabama" that would absolutely make people get up and scream, but the ending he devised is really strange and hard for all of us to time.....yet he's set on ending it HIS way, even though the other three want to simplify it and just move on to our next song, "I Shall Be Released" (Dylan). We spent over 1/2 hour just trying his weird ending and we all struggled with his concoction....just to be fair, it's good.....just hard to time....even Ed and I kinda fumbled it over and over again...

3. Ed could have a HUGE impact on this. But he's burned out from his pro days. He'll keep beats and play out of his mind for hours at a time, but he doesn't want to make any calls or dictate anything. He asked that I play right in front of him so he can watch me and he's expecting me to be his "signal guy" so he knows when to hit it hard, pull it in, and plan for his ending. I'm the pivot man on this whole thing, it's my job to get Rick's attention, as well as Pat's attention, and give the sign for the end of the song, and, specifically, the last one or two measures. This really only comes into play on our blues songs where Rick loves to play leads and solos like they could go on for days.

4. I've been given the job of supplying everyone with the written material they need. Not all of us know the songs each one wants to do. So I was asked, and agreed to, building a "CARE package" for all the members that would give them a complete loose leaf binder with all of our songs including chords, solos, and basslines. Each person is responsible for using this to learn their part. It actually will be okay, because that way we'll all learn the songs in the same key and it'll make practice go smoother because we'll all be on the same page.....which isn't the case now, entirely.

I didn't want this "honor". I went in hoping to play my bass and do a little singing, but each member noticed that I was the most organized, the most technical, and the one who pulls it all together. I think I suck.....big time.....but every member keeps telling me that the only reason the songs sound so good is that my basslines are solid and I don't miss. Each one is following me for the sound and feel....and each one looks to me to manage each song and dictate how it's played and how it flows.......which is hard where I don't have pro experience and two of the four do........

Just to be honest......this group has so much potential. With the right direction it could be so good. We have everything we need, each person can do their job with the right direction. We pound out songs at practice and they sound absolutely awesome....it just needs some organization. I guess I've been elected the leader.....again, not what I expected. I just need to get everyone on the same page, realize that we decided to do this for fun and experience, remind them that the gigs we have coming up are unpaid (which is okay with all of us, we really don't care.....at least I don't care.....I just want to play my music.....)

I have a timeline. I need to get this under control in 30 days. We have a show booked in April. If I don't get this settled down I can't see where this will be any good.

I need help from those experienced in band management...Please help me.....I might go insane if I can't get this squared away......and it's not how I went into this...

I know this is long.....but I could use suggestions and I'm hoping to get some help here...

 

[Stumbo]

Okay, I'm hoping to get some suggestions and experience here. Please help me!

I have this new, green band I'm playing bass in. It's got so much potential but the members are so disjointed....

I guess I've been elected to be the manager of this band because I am the most organized, I show up prepared, and I'm going all the tech work with the PA system and each member is looking to me for direction. I didn't think this would work out this way; the drummer and rhythm player both have professional experience, but myself and the lead player are both "garage" guys. Don't know how many of you bass players managed your band, but i'm hoping you can help me. I'm in a 4 piece that has the ability to be so good it's scary....

This band started out as a jam band/garage band and originated with me and the lead player. I added the drummer, a guy I knew, and the rhythm player....who happens to be my father. Here are the names so it makes it easier.....

Rick- Lead guitar/vocals
Pat- Rhythm player/vocals- Pro experience, also my father
Jerry (me)- Bass and backing vocals
Ed- Drums- Pro experience

We originally set out to build a blues band that did some blues based classic rock covers and a lot of blues music. Rick and I practiced for a few weeks, we added Ed first, then Pat. Each member can do their part well but not everyone is on the same page. Ed and I can play for hours together but Rick is a loose cannon....very talented, very smart, very technical. Ed is a solid drummer who's easy to play with and I can sit on him all day long and hit his downbeats like it's a gift. They all are looking at me asking me to put some organization to this group.....UGH!!!!

Here are our issues....

1. Rick is just too loud. He's good, but even in practice we have to play VERY loud just to hear ourselves. He needs to turn down. Ed is attacking his drums like he hates them just to be heard. I'm pushing my 210 in a garage just to cut through the mix. Plus, Rick likes odd songs that nobody really knows and I'm not sure that they will be liked by an audience because, unless you like Freddie King, Blind Faith, or unusual Bob Dylan tunes....you won't know these songs.

2. Pat has a different idea of what our setlist should be. He's pushing to do more "southern rock" oriented music, and is trying to pull away from the blues foundation we originally intended to perform. All the songs are do-able, most are basic 1-4-5 songs, or 4 chord rock, but it's not where we wanted to go originally......but his input and pro experience has been good, not to mention the songs he wants to bring in only make our setlist stronger and he brings songs that make audiences happy. I never envisioned John Cougar's "Hurt So Good" as part of our setlist, but he seems to think it's a hit and we should do it. Not to mention Eddie Rabbit's "Driving My Life Away", and a few others. I can play all of these songs with no problem, most are pretty boring for me, but it's an easy group of songs for a bass player. In addition, Pat has certain ideas of how this should go, he's a "perfectionist", but that perfection is solely based on his opinion and how he feels each song should go. He's got great ideas and his work is great, but I don't thing the rest of us see these songs going the same way as he does.....but he's insistent that certain songs should progress and end the way he wants them to. For example, we do a cover of "Sweet Home Alabama" that would absolutely make people get up and scream, but the ending he devised is really strange and hard for all of us to time.....yet he's set on ending it HIS way, even though the other three want to simplify it and just move on to our next song, "I Shall Be Released" (Dylan). We spent over 1/2 hour just trying his weird ending and we all struggled with his concoction....just to be fair, it's good.....just hard to time....even Ed and I kinda fumbled it over and over again...

3. Ed could have a HUGE impact on this. But he's burned out from his pro days. He'll keep beats and play out of his mind for hours at a time, but he doesn't want to make any calls or dictate anything. He asked that I play right in front of him so he can watch me and he's expecting me to be his "signal guy" so he knows when to hit it hard, pull it in, and plan for his ending. I'm the pivot man on this whole thing, it's my job to get Rick's attention, as well as Pat's attention, and give the sign for the end of the song, and, specifically, the last one or two measures. This really only comes into play on our blues songs where Rick loves to play leads and solos like they could go on for days.

4. I've been given the job of supplying everyone with the written material they need. Not all of us know the songs each one wants to do. So I was asked, and agreed to, building a "CARE package" for all the members that would give them a complete loose leaf binder with all of our songs including chords, solos, and basslines. Each person is responsible for using this to learn their part. It actually will be okay, because that way we'll all learn the songs in the same key and it'll make practice go smoother because we'll all be on the same page.....which isn't the case now, entirely.

I didn't want this "honor". I went in hoping to play my bass and do a little singing, but each member noticed that I was the most organized, the most technical, and the one who pulls it all together. I think I suck.....big time.....but every member keeps telling me that the only reason the songs sound so good is that my basslines are solid and I don't miss. Each one is following me for the sound and feel....and each one looks to me to manage each song and dictate how it's played and how it flows.......which is hard where I don't have pro experience and two of the four do........

Just to be honest......this group has so much potential. With the right direction it could be so good. We have everything we need, each person can do their job with the right direction. We pound out songs at practice and they sound absolutely awesome....it just needs some organization. I guess I've been elected the leader.....again, not what I expected. I just need to get everyone on the same page, realize that we decided to do this for fun and experience, remind them that the gigs we have coming up are unpaid (which is okay with all of us, we really don't care.....at least I don't care.....I just want to play my music.....)

I have a timeline. I need to get this under control in 30 days. We have a show booked in April. If I don't get this settled down I can't see where this will be any good.

I need help from those experienced in band management...Please help me.....I might go insane if I can't get this squared away......and it's not how I went into this...

I know this is long.....but I could use suggestions and I'm hoping to get some help here...

IMO, you need a band meeting to ask each member what they want to do with the band. Get them to talk and you just ask questions. Like, how much time each week do have to rehearse? How many times a month would you like to gig? How much time each week do you have to learn new tunes? What's a good set list to you? Let's say 30 songs?
Do you want a democracy/dictatorship? If I run the band, will you do what I ask?

One strategy is to tell them you just want to play bass and not do anything else just to hear what they have to say. Ask them what they can contribute above what they are doing now. If nothing, IMO, you have a jam band and nothing more.

IMO/IME, they just enjoy playing loud and banging around for a few hours. They'll probably do the same at a gig and not worry about it cause you'll do everything. You're working way harder than they are.

Seems to me that they just want to show up and play. Any you allow them to do just that.

Good luck.

Here are a few links you may want to check out:
Democracy/dictatorship?
"Leading" a band
Starting a new band
If I only knew then...

 

[ibateur]

This isn't a band yet. Dad wants to go in another direction, Pat is burned out. This group may have potential from an individual talent perspective.... but as a single unit, not really. The weak points you mention are the very points that reduce potential.

a) Father/son situation - where you're already disagreeing. This will be TBK#1.
b) Burned out drummer - why bother? This is TBK#2. That lack of energy will suck all of yours.

Personally, this is still a jam band. The signal I am getting is that "we don't really want to gig"

 

[soulman969]

First of all and most importantly define the genre of music you'll be doing. Don't be all over the place with your selection of tunes to do. You need to decide if you want to play blues and r&b or just be a bar/rock band. If you want remain blues based there are AOR tunes from guys like Jeff Healy Band, Robert Cray, Clapton and others that are recognizable and fit what you're doing blues wise.

Southern Rock isn't a fit for a band basing themselves on blues and r&b tunes. Songs like Hurts So Good and Drivin' My Life Away are so old they could collect Social Security. Out! Sweet Home Alabama is a great song and if you want to be a typical bar band that's the stuff you play. But if you want blues/rock and r&b from southern artists that fits into a blues band try The Allman Brothers and Little Feat, Dr. John, Kenny Wayne Sheppard, SRV, The Amazing Rhythm Aces, B.B King, John Hiatt, etc.

There's nothing wrong with Freddie King and some Blind Faith stuff. Both artists fit the genre you want to play. Don't over look Joe Cocker. You want bluesy version of "I Shall Be Released" then listen to his. Buddy Guy (Feels Like Rain, Damn Right I got the Blues) Muddy Waters, (Hoochie Coochie Man), Howlin Wolf (Smokestack Lightning) and you cover northern blues from the Chicago scene. Robben Ford has great stuff for your lead player to chew on and Tab Benoit is another guy whose done some great stuff, Gary Moore's stuff is incredible and the list goes on and on.

The list of the material you could be doing is endless so don't end up bringing in songs from the 80's that may have been popular but were never very good to begin with. All that does is water down your style. Stick with stuff that fits your genre and it's OK to do some songs that not everyone in the audience knows. Don't just play what other bands play, be unique.

So you wanted ideas there's some for you. They come from a veteran of over 30 years playing music semi-professionally in front of ten people and ten thousand people. My advice is be unique and a little bit eclectic in you selection of material. Don't just do one style of blues. It wears the crowd out. Mix in some danceable r&b stuff there's a ton of it. And this is coming from a bassist who has been the front man and a lead vocalist in nearly every band I've played in. Good Luck to you.

 

[BayStateBass]

You all have great input, and unfortunately you're all right.

As it stands right now....this is nothing but a garage JAM BAND.

Nothing more.....although it could be a lot more. It wants to be more. Or maybe I'm just dreaming....I hope not.

So here is my solution....

1. Finalize the setlists. Our upcoming shows will be limited to 1 hour each because they are at a venue where multiple bands are playing in the same day and night. Being unknowns, we got the mid-afternoon slots (fillers), on Sunday afternoons, two shows per month. We were told we get the first shot on the first show, if we're good we get a locked up spot and if people like us we get to pick out better slots when they open up. I am putting the final binders together today and they will consist of 20 songs, I think that will cover us for an hour.

I was playing in another band and it fell apart before this. Honestly, that band sucked. Bad guitar player, bad music, no dedication for rehearsal, you name it. Hate to say it, but the guitar player/singer was totally uncontrollable and thought that it was our job to magically know what he was going to do and follow his lack of timing, tempo, and desire to play every song differently each time. Two weeks and it was done. Ed was in that band, too. But he and I were the only two who showed up even remotely prepared, so when I met Rick and we hit it off, Ed was my next call. I've known Ed for a long time. Honestly, he's good and it's hard to find a drummer around here who's willing to put the work in knowing he won't get paid right away.

2. I am dumping Eddie Rabbit and John Cougar. That's not where this was ever intended to go. I am keeping Hey Joe, Red House, I Shall Be Released, The Wind Cries Mary, Knocking On Heaven's Door, In The Presence Of The Lord, In The Midnight Hour, Double Trouble (Clapton), I'm Tore Down, Mannish Boy, and a bunch of others.....So I gotta get crackin' here soon. I'm also going to include a cover of a song by an artist named Tinsley Ellis called The Other Side. I'm thinking we might close with Sweet Home Alabama without the theatrical, dramatic, weird ending. It doesn't work. But it's a killer final song for us if we stick to what we do well.

3. I'm going to talk to Rick about turning down. No choice here. It's killing our rehearsal because it's so loud we can't hear our mistakes. He'll listen. He's a real good guy.

4. Find out...THIS WEEK....if all of the members really want to do this. Rick and I want to gig out.....we did from the first time we talked. If the other two aren't on board....I'm not putting the work in and I'm notifying the club owner to give our spot away. This place has a waiting list, it's a blues venue that is known for launching local bands into other clubs with steady gigs, and there are area guys chomping at the bit to get our spot, even if it is a crappy one.

5. Tell Pat that his song selection doesn't work. We can't do Red House and follow it up with You've Lost That Loving Feeling. Hopefully he'll take it well. He thinks he knows how this should go because he was a pro for 25 years and was a sought after musician until he walked away. But that was 20 years ago....times have changed. He's out of touch....but I can handle him. After all, he is my father. His talent is good, he just needs to listen more. Difficult, as he was his band manager for years and secured them a job as a house band at a very busy club, every weekend for 7 of those 25 years. But it'll be okay.

Wish me luck. All I ever wanted to do was play my music for people. Never wanted the big time, always wanted small clubs. To this point, all I've ever gotten is fill-ins with some area bands, nothing solid. This is a great opportunity to play with some great people and I think it can be saved.

Thanks everyone!

 

[lowendfriend]

One of things that helps our covers band is to lock and load on a particular version of a published MP3 for a given song >>>for song form<<<<. Intro, verses, choruses, bridges, stops, key changes, outros, etc. Not dictating "note for note" but rather everyone on the same song form page. Not many music readers, so this has helped enormously. People show up for practice knowing how to play the same song....our focus is to "sync up" in our precious time together.

 

[BayStateBass]

One of things that helps our covers band is to lock and load on a particular version of a published MP3 for a given song >>>for song form<<<<. Intro, verses, choruses, bridges, stops, key changes, outros, etc. Not dictating "note for note" but rather everyone on the same song form page. Not many music readers, so this has helped enormously. People show up for practice knowing how to play the same song....our focus is to "sync up" in our precious time together.

That was my thought in doing these music sheets for them. I wrote a few out, downloaded a few from some tab sites. It puts us on the same page. For example, we churned out Red House and I played it in B flat maj....but pretty quickly (like by measure three) I saw that Rick was playing it in B maj. And Pat was playing it in B flat min. What a disaster. We all knew the song and that it was in "B" of some type, and how it went, but none of us knew what each other was doing because we'd all played the song differently. I'm working to correct that with these "cheat sheets".

I'm planning to bring the iPod to the next practice with the docking station so, in a addition to the cheat sheets, we have the recordings to listen to.

Good suggestion, thanks!!!

 

[lowendfriend]

When you publish the setlist or playlist for a practice, get in a habit of putting the Key beside it. Also a good idea to list lead singer and make sure they are ok with the key.

As for MP3, the title, artist and album name or a youtube link if we are going to sync on a youtube version.

Show up at practice with the official song form version of the songs in an iPod playlist with a cable that you can hook thru an amp as a referee or reference on song form particulars during practice.

 

[charlie monroe]

Doesn't hurt to make note of the tempo, so anyone can play with a metronome or click track at home

 

[BayStateBass]

Doesn't hurt to make note of the tempo, so anyone can play with a metronome or click track at home

Big thanks to LEF and you, too...I've scratching some things down in the book to get everyone on the same page. The next practice will be back on track, I guarantee it.....

I want to thank everyone who took the time to read my ramblings and help me out.....this is my first rodeo doing this and I certainly can use as much advice as I can get.

Thinking on it even more tonight.....

We are a blues-based band. It's what we wanted. Our original goal was to do blues covers and some improv blues songs, maybe a few other things to keep it interesting. It's what I wanted. And I was a founding member, along with Rick. The vision was originally his, but I was the next one. We found a drummer who can pull it off in his sleep. We found a rhythm player with more skill than was necessary. Someone just has to take charge, and I decided it will be me. They want it. They need it. It's gonna be great.....I just know it.

I came to the realization I'm a blues bassist. I just am. I can play rock, country, or metal.....I just don't like to. Well, rock is okay...I guess. When I'm sitting in my practice area, alone, I play slow blues basslines to relax, to feel something, and to connect with my music. Most of my training is in blues and jazz, primarily blues, though. I loved blues before I ever picked up a guitar or bass. I hate "perfect music". I'm not a musician who wants to stress over a single note. I love musicians who are imperfect, the ones who make mistakes, the ones who take chances, the ones who feel what they are doing and put their soul into what comes out. I like voices that crack, I like notes that are fudged, I like players who can just go for an hour exploring what the song is leading to. I like musicians that love what they play and don't think of it as a job. I don't want perfection, I want investment. This group can do that. And we do it well, when we all like what we are doing.

I can do this.......

You people are awesome, thanks.....

 

[jive1]

Sometimes being a leader can look and feel alot like being a lackey.

IME, having responsibility without authority is a big cause of stress. If you are going to be responsible for it, then you should have authority over it without wondering what everyone else is gonna think. For example, if you are responsible for the sound, then you should have the authority to tell people to turn down, eq out a frequency, boost a channel, etc without getting blowback.

Also IME, if you are going to do this for the long run, take an extra cut from the gigs for your efforts. Even if you are doing it just for fun, or don't expect much from the gig, you should put a value to your efforts. And if your band takes off, and does well, it's hard not to be resentful or used if you do 80% of the "work" and just get 20% of the pay. Even if you like everyone, and they all have your back, you will have your down days and the feelings that accompany it.

Too many chefs can ruin a stew. And a restaurant with a bunch of chefs, but no waiters, busboys, manager, bartender, etc. will go out of business quickly. With music, lots of people like to be the chef, but no-one wants to be the waiter. It's understandable since people don't learn to cook or attend culinary school to wait on tables. But, without those roles the restaurant goes out of business. The music is the fun part of the business, and everyone wants in on it. Writing tunes, picking songs, coming up with arrangements, performing, recording, etc. are what most people enjoy doing. I have yet to meet someone that rather book gigs than play their instrument. That's why we do what we do. But, how do we decide who is gonna be the chef? IME, IMO, the lead vocalist and person who books the gigs select the tunes. Your repertoire will be limited to what the vocals can handle, and the person booking the gigs will ultimately be responsible for satisfying the client, so those two should select the tunes. The other guys can veto and add suggestions, but the final call should be made by the vocalist and person booking gigs.

In the end, have fun. It's the Blues where 3 chords and a solid groove will take you a long way. A set of Blues is not that difficult, and because of the improvisational nature of it, it's easy to stretch out a tune or fix a mistake on the fly. In the big scheme of things, your band is selling fun. If you aren't having fun, it's hard to sell it. You can't even give away something if you don't have it.

 

[lowendfriend]

Doesn't hurt to make note of the tempo, so anyone can play with a metronome or click track at home

That's another reason for a "standard MP3 version" of a song!

You use it for tempo as well.

As you say, it is also good to have the tempo expressed in beats per minute just like it's a good idea to know the key overtly, too.

 

[BayStateBass]

Well, thanks to everyone for the help.....but it won't matter much now.

Implosion is imminent.

I wanted this to be more....but it never had the ability to be anything more than a "jam band". We did one small show and it was a borderline "trainwreck".

Drummer has decided he does not want to gig.

Rhythm player pushes for setlist changes every week and criticizes the lead player, spends half the practice dropping out with a pouty look on his face.

Lead player will not show up to practices prepared and is completely undisciplined, would much rather just play "jam sessions". Is bringing one or two new songs every week that I am learning....only to never see them again or play them.

I have lost interest in trying to make this thing go and I am not good enough to handle my bass playing and all of the vocals that have been recently put on me. In addition I've come to abhor practice due to the tension and disorganization. Now I'm just "showing up".

When this falls apart, and it will....soon.....I won't let it get me down. This is my second band I've been part of, and both have been disasters. I am realistic, I'm not an excellent bass player, but I'm actually decent, I think I could be happy with the right group....so I WILL move on and at one point.....I'll find what fits and what works.

When talking to my bass teacher about it, he laughed and said, "Did you really think that this would be 'the one'? It can take a long time to find the right situation. Until then....practice, learn, play out if you can, and each experience will make you a better player".

So thanks for the help and suggestions. It's been a great learning experience.......

 

[lowendfriend]

As Bones said to Captain Kirk, "He's dead, Jim!"

 

[MrNecroVOL]

Well, thanks to everyone for the help.....but it won't matter much now.

Implosion is imminent.

I wanted this to be more....but it never had the ability to be anything more than a "jam band". We did one small show and it was a borderline "trainwreck".

Drummer has decided he does not want to gig.

Rhythm player pushes for setlist changes every week and criticizes the lead player, spends half the practice dropping out with a pouty look on his face.

Lead player will not show up to practices prepared and is completely undisciplined, would much rather just play "jam sessions". Is bringing one or two new songs every week that I am learning....only to never see them again or play them.

I have lost interest in trying to make this thing go and I am not good enough to handle my bass playing and all of the vocals that have been recently put on me. In addition I've come to abhor practice due to the tension and disorganization. Now I'm just "showing up".

When this falls apart, and it will....soon.....I won't let it get me down. This is my second band I've been part of, and both have been disasters. I am realistic, I'm not an excellent bass player, but I'm actually decent, I think I could be happy with the right group....so I WILL move on and at one point.....I'll find what fits and what works.

When talking to my bass teacher about it, he laughed and said, "Did you really think that this would be 'the one'? It can take a long time to find the right situation. Until then....practice, learn, play out if you can, and each experience will make you a better player".

So thanks for the help and suggestions. It's been a great learning experience.......

This reminds me a hell of alot of my former band. I was in the exact same spot as you. Except for me I was thrown out or at least they tryed to throw me out of the band that i started and got all the contacts for ( manager and record label deal) and also was told that i am a ****** bass player and got cursed on alot. My wife even got told that i am a waste of time to be with.

 

[BayStateBass]

As Bones said to Captain Kirk, "He's dead, Jim!"

Yup.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more I'm okay with it. I really wasn't ready to take on the leadership role that I wound up with because I have no experience doing it. Honestly, I screwed up as many things as I did right. I'm not above saying that through my inexperience and naivety (yeah, I don't think it's spelled that way...but you get what I mean) I created as many problems as anyone else. I was so excited to play with a group that had some talent and they liked my playing that I didn't want to grasp or accept the fact that it was never a cohesive group and it was doomed from the start. They were so much more talented than the first band I tried out for and was hired....that one crashed and burned even faster with nasty results.

The drummer and I talked at length today. He was in a good mood, almost relieved that this thing is over. He told me that I'm welcome to come to his place any Saturday and work on "woodshed" projects, or practice, or go over ideas, he's happy to be the "drum machine". He offered the space up to the other members as well, in the case that we might want to just get together and jam out. I don't think the others will take him up on it. He and I had left the first band to join this one, so on some level we seem to synch together, plus I've known him a long time. He told me that I'm welcome to take the PA system (he bought it) anytime I need it, or if I wind up with a band that needs one. He also told me that he's more than willing to do fill-ins if I find a band that needs it from time to time, he just doesn't want to work steady or gig on any sort of regular basis. Awesome guy, he told me to keep coming over on Saturdays and he'll continue to work with me on my practicing, timing, and tone. He also told me that I was a lot of fun to play with and he thinks that if I find the right group I could do well. He commented that my bass playing was really solid and in his opinion, I was an easy bassist for a drummer to groove with. He also offered to keep his eyes and ears open, and if he knew anyone looking for a bassist who plays like me he'll recommend me. It was nice to hear, I'm not sure that I'm as good as he seems to think I am, but again....it was nice to hear.

I don't know if age was a factor, but I am at least 20 years younger than the other three. They are all 50-60 years old, I am in my 30's.

He felt the lead player needs to do a solo act. He just can't work with a group. The rhythm player needs to find a more established band with a more polished and managed act where classic rock and southern rock are the staples of the act.

So, chalk up "Crash-N-Burn Number 2" for BayStateBass.

But I'm not done yet.......