Welcome, grasshoppa!
In hopes that your trip on TB Airlines will be safe, productive, enlightening and grooving, some helpful hints (printed on the side of the airsick bags, thoughtfully provided by the Qintar):
1) Use the search function early, often, and religiously. The answer to any questions you may have will, like as not, already be discussed
ad absurdum.
Using the search function will protect you from the wrath of n00b-seeking kobolds.
2)
No. Politics. At. Frigging. All.
If you talk politics, you will be either a) suspended, b) banned, c) demoted to glockenspiel, or d) forced to become John Tesh's cabin boy.
(He likes his baby food
steamed, not microwaved.)
3) No Effing Profanity.
4) Read all stickies at the top of the forum/sub-forum. They tell you everything you wish to know, and have wonderful links and resources for newer players, as well as seasoned pros.
If you can't find what you are looking for between the search function and the stickies, either it doesn't exist or Chuck Norris melted it with his stare.
5) When in doubt, 'carrots' is an acceptable answer.
6) You may have noticed that you are flying 'coach', aka Bass Guitar Forums. That is no disgrace, as some of the funkiest practitioners of the Low Arts fly here. However, if you feel the need to upgrade to First Class, or, Double Bass Forums, some things you may wish to consider:
a) oxygen is limited at the top of the Ivory Tower, so bring your own,
b) there are cave-dwellers there, too.
(Re: rockabilly.)
c) Unless you are comfortable tossing words like 'craptastic' around, and tend to obsess over the differences between C and D necks, stay here in coach...we get the chicks...
7) A few other things to keep in mind:
a) Paul, the owner of TB, outranks Chuck Norris. Keep that in mind.
b) All moderators are fed raw meat. They may seem tame enough, but don't poke sticks into their cages. They sometimes get out.
c
1) Major Metal is not a major, but he
is metal.
c
2) If you become the focus of a thread he starts, you are either really lucky or really hosed. Humor him either way.
d) John Turner, our Air Marshal, is really a warm, fuzzy teddybear...if by 'warm' you mean 'exuding magma'; 'fuzzy', meaning 'having quills like a porcupine, comprised of broken glass and despair'; and 'teddybear', meaning 'the unnamed wraith inhabiting the genitorturers' absinthe-soaked, DMT-fired nightmares'.
(He is fun at parties, and has creative uses for doublenecked seven strings...but don't cheese him off.)
Now that we have all that taken care of, enjoy your trip, please try the smoked almonds, and don't forget to tip your stews.
Is it your voice in my head
