Nordstrand product descriptions

[NKBassman]

This irks me. I was just on the Nordstrand website today and saw a new product... '51 Precision style split-coil pickups in Jazz shells! Cool!

Then I went to the product page to get more information, and trying to read the product description makes me go crosseyed. It's like marketing department smoked anything and everything that would burn and then busted out the thesaurus. Where they couldn't find a word, they're now simply making up nonsense. This isn't the first time they've done this, and I've noticed this descriptive trend escalating over the last few product releases (see Zen Blades), but this one absolutely takes the cake.

Excerpt:

The 51 Splti-J drips dark... blats ballistic... in style—and you like it. It reminds you of the potential in sound—a swirling soup of splitting and recapitulating flavor. It is bubblethumpwhip articulate, with a vintage silhouette delivering rugcut eroticism and other somapsychedelic drugs. It can start with a shaded, twilight ooze, quick on its feet before sonocity curls toward a weight grafted from the heckticker heavy of its brother in honed body: Do you know the The Fifty-One P? If you do, and have felt it, you’ll recognize a familiar buck, a particular thump, in the resounding stir of the 51 Splti-J However, this is only a reminiscence. Different from the weight of the Fifty-One P, the Split P finds ballast in darkness, where its dripblat boils topish heavy and its mids conduct contour construction across the shadow of the lows. In this darkness, the 51 Splti-J affects straightforwardly: a rigorous lake of presence will wreak your musico-ecologies with a demarcating blot, inked in the eclipse which totalizes this difference. A dark drip. A velocititious blat. A decibel speak spat. Your bass WILL affect. It will blipelbwhooshbwampPOPsmack!

Now, don't take my complaining as a knock against the company or their product. I have Nordy pickups in my Jazz and P basses and really like them. In my opinion, Nordstrand are (perhaps arguably) one of the most high profile and reputable bass pickup manufactures out there today, and continue to push the state of the art with new interesting products that far exceed "niche" market applications.

And they are of course free to run their business and describe their products however they see fit. But, in my opinion, this is absolutely terrible product marketing.

Am I crazy? Over reacting? Is 35 too young for a "get off my lawn" moment? Maybe it just disagrees with my practical sensibilities and preference for technical information. Maybe I just expect a little more professionalism and/or straight-forwardishness from such a renowned and respected pickup builder. I don't know... at the end of the day, big deal right?... it definitely won't stop me from buying their stuff because I already know it's top quality. But for anyone visiting that page for the first time and trying to read that nonsense hoping to get some feel for what the product actually offers, might not take the company seriously.

Thoughts?

 

[onestring]

I absolutely love it, thanks for pointing it out! A+.

The marketing copy on pickups, strings, and even instruments rarely has any valuable information. 99% of the time it's worse than reading the back of a shampoo bottle. At least Nordstrand is having some fun with it.

It's really the tech specs where the useful information is anyway, plus taking the risk of trying them out.

 

[NKBassman]

I absolutely love it, thanks for pointing it out! A+.

The marketing copy on pickups, strings, and even instruments rarely has any valuable information. 99% of the time it's worse than reading the back of a shampoo bottle. At least Nordstrand is having some fun with it.

It's really the tech specs where the useful information is anyway, plus taking the risk of trying them out.

Fair. I see where you're coming from, and that thought had occurred to me as well... is this really any different/worse than any other marketing BS out there?
In my opinion, yes it is worse. lol
Different strokes...

Personally I hate it, and I feel dumber for having read it as many times as I have.
But like I said that won't stop me from buying (and liking) their stuff.

These 51 P jazz pickups are actually quite intriguing. I really just wanted to know if they have radiused pole pieces or not. Instead, I only know that they have a velocititious blat which boils topish heavy, and that my bass will blipelbwhooshbwampPOPsmack! if I put these in.

 

[ctmullins]

I am completely with you @NKBassman. It’s worse than bad. It’s ludicrous and juvenile, and conveys almost zero factual information.

I used to hold Gibson’s marketing department as the brown standard. Nordstrand is even worse. I’m flabbergasted, truly.

 

[Jefenator]

They also provide some relatively objective numerical ratings under the "tone" header and video clips under "media". There's nothing quite like actually trying a pickup out, but at least they are making some effort to help us choose the right model.
I would have to agree, the "description" is often vague, hyperbolic and subjective and therefore not of much real use... except to make your mouth water.
I was once offered a job, writing stuff like that for the Musician's Friend catalog. Seems like it could have been fun - but also compromising. And they relocated to LA a month after I would have started, so I'm pretty glad I turned it down.

 

[kesslari]

As a potential customer I recently went to the website, read a few pickup descriptions, and realized I had no idea what any of them were really saying.
So I left.

 

[NKBassman]

As a potential customer I recently went to the website, read a few pickup descriptions, and realized I had no idea what any of them were really saying.
So I left.

They say nothing. It's just two paragraphs of random adjectives strung together.

 

[NKBassman]

I am completely with you @NKBassman. It’s worse than bad. It’s ludicrous and juvenile, and conveys almost zero factual information.

I used to hold Gibson’s marketing department as the brown standard. Nordstrand is even worse. I’m flabbergasted, truly.

I had included the word "ludicrous" in my initial post but I must have rephrased and edited it out at some point. Good one.

 

[eastcoasteddie]

I see it as sort of like the J. Peterman Catalog. It’s funny if you have a sense of humor and like to read.

from J. Peterman product:
Waxed Cotton Thug Cap

“Have Hat, Will Travel.

A good thug cap, or flat cap, or ivy cap, whichever you prefer, is always an appropriate hat to keep in your rotation. On point when seeking out shellfish chowder in Glasgow (try the Crabshakk). Good from the Midlands to the Highlands. Good for the streets in Piccadilly Circus when you’re not sure who’s watching. Even better is a hat with a wax finish that beads the rain. Your great Irish uncle would tip his cap (probably wool) to you.”

 

[NKBassman]

I see it as sort of like the J. Peterman Catalog. It’s funny if you have a sense of humor and like to read.

Urban Sombrero notwithstanding.

 

[Killed_by_Death]

I wish they'd give us some relevant data like DiMarzio, about output level. DiMarzio has milliVolts posted on their site, but I have no bloody idea how they're measuring that.
However, even if we don't know how they get the readings, at least it would give us relative data among the same brand.

 

[melloncollie]

One thing I will say is that where the product descriptions fail you, emailing nordstrand never will. They’re super helpful and will answer any questions you have. A good argument could be made about that not having to be necessary but honestly it’s super helpful.

 

[two fingers]

Yeah I am a happy customer of theirs. But that copy is just stupid...as in stupid enough to prevent me from sending a bass to them I was about to send. That's quite possibly the dumbest thing on the interwebz. And that's saying something!

It almost makes me think the ad copy has some errors due to some sort of writing software that jams synonyms in where you would usually find "average" words. It's a complete failure no matter the goal. Even if the goal was to be funny, it fell short.

 

[Snaxster]

Wow... that is disheartening. Below are some noteworthy examples to the contrary. They show how it should be done, and are how some other distinguished pickup makers are still doing it. Marketing is what it is. But each of these is, in its fashion, straightforward and descriptive. From least to most verbose:


Curtis Novak - PB-V

"Vintage correct Precision Bass pickups with a nice mid bite."


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

"Vintage correct lacquered fiberboard bobbins, Alnico V magnets, black plastic covers, wound with 42 gauge Heavy Formvar wire for that classic, growling, P-Bass tone."


The Pickup Wizard - Vintage Style P-Bass Pickup Set

"Sound wise. the pickups have that classic warm but punchy tone normally associated with vintage early 1960s P-basses. The FormVar versions tend to be a little warmer in tone with more complex harmonics verses the Plain Enamel magnet wire versions which have better high end performance."


Lollar - Precision Bass Split-coil

"Our design is wound to vintage specs and patterned after the original split-coil humbucking bass pickup to give you punchy, powerful tone and clear definition. Scatterwound to offer greater harmonic presence, the pickup is wax potted and made with hand-beveled Alnico 5 magnets and vintage style cloth covered wire."


Flying Mojo - The Duck Pre-CBS

"Flying Mojo’s Pre-CBS P-Bass Pick-up set Modeled after the Famous Stax Records sound.

⦁ Pickups were measured exact from a Precision Bass Guitar formerly owned by Donald “Duck” Dunn
⦁ Authentic 1960’s tone made with 100% USA Materials, original alloy staggered magnets,
⦁ Authentic 42 gauge heavy-duty Formvar wire, vintage cloth lead wire and Forbon Flatware, Nitrocellulose lacquered and wax potted"


DiMarzio - Area J Pair

"Been waiting for a bass pickup that sounds like a vintage J Bass® pickup and cancels hum? Your wait is over. Bass pickups are usually described with aggressive terms such as “amazing punch” and “thundering lows”, but that’s not the sound of vintage J Bass® pickups. They’re all about warmth, sustain, and a clean, singing tone. The Area J™ captures all of those qualities. It is not loud, but it has a very focused attack, so it has power where it counts – at the center of the tone. The lows are very clear and clean, and the highs are both smooth and open-sounding. We’ve reduced the magnet-pull, and included 4-conductor wiring to allow both series and parallel humbucking modes."


Klein - 1959 Epic Series P-Bass

"- Magnets, Our Epic Series 1959 Pickups use Original Fender Alloy Alnico 5 Magnets From 1959. We sent Original magnets from a 1959 pickup to an Independent Laboratory for Metallurgical Chemical Analysis Testing. We then contracted direct with our magnet manufacturer to get the Alnico 5 magnets Specially Poured to the exact composition of the Originals. We are the only manufacturer who offers this. Pure, Sweet, and Authentic Tone.

- Wire, our 42ga Plain Enamel wire is not just stock wire. We have sent dozens of samples of wire from early Precisions for analysis. We get our 42ga Plain Enamel built to the exact specs of the samples we have had analyzed. Exact Resistance, Exact ID & OD, & Color matching. Our 42ga Plain Enamel Wire is the most authentic and accurate Magnet Wire Available. As Authentic as it can possibly get.

- Tone, the tone of our Authentic 1959 Precision pickups is simply stunning. You will never hear a more pure sounding pickup. People often ask us why vintage pickups sound so good. Well, the main reason why is that materials used in the 50s & 60's are not the same as today's off the shelf parts. Replicating every alloy, every element, every aspect of a pickup is why our 1959 Epic Series Pickups sound identical to a real 1959 pickups. We get every part of the Epic 1959 pickups specially manufactured, only for us, from an actual 1959 pickup. 1959 Epic pickups have a huge chunky low end, often not associated with current magnets, as current magnets have a nasty Mid Range presence that also pairs with the chunkiness. The mids on the 1959 set are very solid, not overbearing but are shifted to the lower mid frequencies not the upper dark mids. The treble is very velvety but still holds it's top end clarity.

- Compression, the 1959 pickup has plenty of output that provides a spunk that is only known for in 1959 Precision's. This spunk brings out the presence of the bass guitar by giving it a huge voice that is able to cut, something that is highly sought by bass players. All in all, the 1959 precision bass pickup is huge and fat with just the perfect amount of bite."

 

[sikamikanico]

I don’t know how it should be done, but I do agree that these nonsense descriptions are, at best, pointless. Someone spent some time writing that, and I think it was time wasted.

what would be really helpful is perhaps sound clips of direct comparisons of their pickups... same bass, same strings, different pickups of the same shape and size, recorded direct... just playing, not too much talking

 

[arbiterusa]

Am I crazy? Over reacting?

No. It’s lazy marketing and bad writing. Two of my pet peeves in one. Worse so since I’m actually looking at buying at least one pair of their soapbars and I have no idea, not a clue, of what their different models sound like so I’ll probably just end up getting the “Jazz Bass” model just because I have a reasonable idea of what that might sound like. The rest of them? Could sound like mudbuckers for all I know, and unless someone here personally owns a set, nobody here could tell me either. Not from their ad copy.

 

[JeezyMcNuggles]

This irks me. I was just on the Nordstrand website today and saw a new product... '51 Precision style split-coil pickups in Jazz shells! Cool!

Then I went to the product page to get more information, and trying to read the product description makes me go crosseyed. It's like marketing department smoked anything and everything that would burn and then busted out the thesaurus. Where they couldn't find a word, they're now simply making up nonsense. This isn't the first time they've done this, and I've noticed this descriptive trend escalating over the last few product releases (see Zen Blades), but this one absolutely takes the cake.

Excerpt:


Now, don't take my complaining as a knock against the company or their product. I have Nordy pickups in my Jazz and P basses and really like them. In my opinion, Nordstrand are (perhaps arguably) one of the most high profile and reputable bass pickup manufactures out there today, and continue to push the state of the art with new interesting products that far exceed "niche" market applications.

And they are of course free to run their business and describe their products however they see fit. But, in my opinion, this is absolutely terrible product marketing.

Am I crazy? Over reacting? Is 35 too young for a "get off my lawn" moment? Maybe it just disagrees with my practical sensibilities and preference for technical information. Maybe I just expect a little more professionalism and/or straight-forwardishness from such a renowned and respected pickup builder. I don't know... at the end of the day, big deal right?... it definitely won't stop me from buying their stuff because I already know it's top quality. But for anyone visiting that page for the first time and trying to read that nonsense hoping to get some feel for what the product actually offers, might not take the company seriously.

Thoughts?

Ooookay?!

Pass sum a dat dis way bruddah!

6,5,6,6 seems kinda middle of the board for an explanation like that dont you think?

 

[crankypants]

They seem to have a lot of synergy.

Reminds me of the ol' DOD pedal manuals.

 

[BassikBrad]

This irks me. I was just on the Nordstrand website today and saw a new product... '51 Precision style split-coil pickups in Jazz shells! Cool!

Then I went to the product page to get more information, and trying to read the product description makes me go crosseyed. It's like marketing department smoked anything and everything that would burn and then busted out the thesaurus. Where they couldn't find a word, they're now simply making up nonsense. This isn't the first time they've done this, and I've noticed this descriptive trend escalating over the last few product releases (see Zen Blades), but this one absolutely takes the cake.

Excerpt:


Now, don't take my complaining as a knock against the company or their product. I have Nordy pickups in my Jazz and P basses and really like them. In my opinion, Nordstrand are (perhaps arguably) one of the most high profile and reputable bass pickup manufactures out there today, and continue to push the state of the art with new interesting products that far exceed "niche" market applications.

And they are of course free to run their business and describe their products however they see fit. But, in my opinion, this is absolutely terrible product marketing.

Am I crazy? Over reacting? Is 35 too young for a "get off my lawn" moment? Maybe it just disagrees with my practical sensibilities and preference for technical information. Maybe I just expect a little more professionalism and/or straight-forwardishness from such a renowned and respected pickup builder. I don't know... at the end of the day, big deal right?... it definitely won't stop me from buying their stuff because I already know it's top quality. But for anyone visiting that page for the first time and trying to read that nonsense hoping to get some feel for what the product actually offers, might not take the company seriously.

Thoughts?

Agree.

 

[Killed_by_Death]

There's a time & place for whimsy, & it's NOT when you're trying to sell something, LOL!

My boss used to LOL at my whimsy, like when I put Australia into the system as OZ.