Only in America

[Sav'nBass]

From The Week 2/17/12:

A West Virginia college student is suing his fraternity, alleging that he fell off a deck when a drunken frat brother fired a bottle rocket out of his own anus. Louis Helmburg III alleges that Travis Huges' bottle rocket stunt so startled him that he jumped back and fell. "Firing bottle rockets out of one's anus" the lawsuit states "constitutes an 'ultra hazardous' activity."

I almost choked I laughed so hard when I first read this just imagining it. Can you imagine the judge trying to keep a straight face while this is being decided?

 

[Smurf-o-Deth]

This case stinks.

 

[i_got_a_mohawk]

Whoever would think it's a good idea to launch fireworks from their person?

Mighty irresponsible!

 

[Lonesomedave]

did it say if the person who launched it had his a** really burned? cause i would think the blowback from a bottle rocket would just fry him.

 

[L-A]

Well, for once it seems like a legitimate reason for butthurt.

 

[Jake Saint]

Well, for once it seems like a legitimate reason for butthurt.

*slow clap*

 

[sloasdaylight]

Well, for once it seems like a legitimate reason for butthurt.

10/10, would read again.

 

[Strat-Mangler]

I knew that with such an article, the ass puns wouldn't be far BEHIND.

 

[Strat-Mangler]

Keeping a rocket in your rectum? Now, *that's* a guy who's anal-retentive.

 

[Strat-Mangler]

The victim got a bum deal.

 

[Strat-Mangler]

I thought all these old fraternity jokes like shooting rockets out of your ass were dead, but it looks like that guy decided to resurRECT 'UM.

 

[bassie12]

I thought all these old fraternity jokes like shooting rockets out of your ass were dead, but it looks like that guy decided to resurRECT 'UM.

RECT 'UM? Nearly killed 'UM!!!

 

[chicago_mike]

You mean the rectum got a bum deal..

 

[chicago_mike]

Shooting for the stars and all they got to see was uranus.

 

[Jared Lash]

I read this story yesterday and I had to reread it a couple times to make sure I understood.

This guy did not have a bottle rocket fired out of his nether regions. He didn't participate in the launching of the rocket out of the other guy's butt. He simply got startled when the guy launched it out and fell over, injuring himself. Seriously?

If I were the judge on this case it would take up 30 seconds of court time max.

"You chose to join and live in a fraternity of your own free will. You are being provided entertainment and fodder for stories you'll tell the rest of your life. Suck it up, put some ice on your boo-boos and have some fun. Case dismissed."

 

[MatticusMania]

 

[chicago_mike]

Well that cheeseburger was definately not in paradise..


I'll get me coat.

 

[Skitch it!]

We do use a phrase here: "That guy needs a rocket up his arse," but it's usually referring to the shiftless and lazy though

 

[nickbass79]

That's my Alma Mater! Keeping the proud tradition of stupid party injuries

 

[caligula]

I didn't understand the article, have to anal-yze it thoroughly.