Original composition for feedback/critique

[Schweppies]

Hey all, long time lurker/part-time poster here. I've been toying with the idea of doing some solo composing and decided to put my latest creation into the unforgiving hands of TB

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Let me know what you think, this was composed and performed by myself (with the exception of Garage Band drums which were done with fingers and keyboard skills.)

 

[Schweppies]

Shameless self bump

 

[Schweppies]

One last shameless self bump before the thread reaches the underbelly of the recordings forum.

 

[mambo4]

my one listen impression is it's too many parts, with little repetition.
harder to glue together in a coherent whole.

they all "fit together" strictly speaking
but I don't hear a single song...just a daisy chain of riffs.

 

[Schweppies]

my one listen impression is it's too many parts, with little repetition.
harder to glue together in a coherent whole.

they all "fit together" strictly speaking
but I don't hear a single song...just a daisy chain of riffs.

Thanks for taking the time to listen and weigh in. It is greatly appreciated

I've been attempting to break my normal mold in terms of how I write songs, making them play out more like a passage. I'm glad at least one person weighed in, since I'm actually in the process of recording another song. I'll work towards making it seem less "daisy chained."

Thanks again!

 

[ShiftyShift]

It sounds very 80s poppish. If you have David Bowie singing about love on this, You'd have a hit on your hands. Its just very...choppy I guess. Not much consistency. Kinda sounds like one of those Weird Al Yankovic "Polka's"

 

[Funky Ghost]

It's a bands song. Meaning, for the band. I'm sure it's a complete blast to play, but it might be too clever for an audience to fully appreciate. Being musicians we can certainly appreciate the parts but most listeners want something to latch on to. The quick changes make that difficult.