People/musicians are so strange...

[glocke1]

If you have a circle of people to play music with and they are mentally stable/balanced individuals without a lot of drama, count yourself fortunate.

As much as love playing bass, it is just a huge struggle for me to find people to jam with that have a reasonable set of expectations in terms of music.

Local guy I know from H.S. reached out to me and said he's interested in doing some playing. We exchanged a couple of texts back and forth and I made it clear I am open to do some playing/jamming but don't have the bandwidth to commit to anything that would eat up large amounts of my time and I went onto ask what he'd be interested in playing.

His answer was " Squeeze!"

Nothing wrong with that band, and I am aware of their more popular hits but after listening to a bunch of their tunes, it's stuff that requires more of time commitment than I'd be willing to put in to play well. The tunes aren't overly hard, but I heard enough nuances in the ones I listened to and realized its just not stuff I'd want to put the time required to get them accurate.

I replied back stating all of that, and mentioned its probably a bit more realistic for me to play stuff that doesn't require that much of a time commitment such as blues, classic rock, improv based riff jamming, etc..

The reply I got back was basically just this deranged response about how the blues sucks, he's had it with classic rock, and has this undying desire to play squeeze and hopes he finds someone to play that music with that won't feel like they have to spend time on it... I didn't even respond as his reply was so off the wall and if I am honest sort of disrespectful to me.

For perspective, we are both in our 50s...I have a day job and other responsibilities, so need to be realistic in terms of things I say yes to. This guy doesn't have all that. In any case instead of being realistic about whats possible with older/busy adults, he's effectively lost a contact that he could do some playing with on an informal basis by being so inflexible. The guy is always posting on FB about not having people to play with and this is why I suppose.

There are lots of things I'd like to focus on exclusively, but I know that finding others that want to focus ONLY on those things just simply isn't going to happen at this point and I've realized if I want to do any playing at all, I have to be flexible and accommodating to others.

Its unfortunate as the guy is a competent player and is like 15 minutes from my house...

 

[two fingers]

Oh yeah. Musicians are weirdos.

The saddest weirdos are the delusional ones. Like your friend, some simply get all excited about tribute bands for artists that simply don't warrant a tribute band. Some are dad's with dad bods and white New Balance sneakers who still dream of "making it big". They would sell their own children for a chance to open for Poison on tour (today....not back in the 80s when Poison was cool).

I have one friend like that. He's constantly trying to get me to join his hard rock cover band (a revolving door of average older dude musicians). He's in his mid 50s, balding on top, dad bod, etc. But he still wants to haul old passive PA equipment by the truckload to shows over as wide of a geographical area as he can book as often as possible. And he thinks he has the makings of enough "kick A" originals to record a "bad A" album and "see if it takes off".

He has a beautiful family (he's a grandfather by the way), and a great job. But he pisses away a good portion of his income propping up his little rock band.

That said, all of the people on my band are stable individuals. So I'm going to ride that out as long as I can.

 

[friskinator]

Oh yeah. Musicians are weirdos.

The saddest weirdos are the delusional ones. Like your friend, some simply get all excited about tribute bands for artists that simply don't warrant a tribute band. Some are dad's with dad bods and white New Balance sneakers who still dream of "making it big". They would sell their own children for a chance to open for Poison on tour (today....not back in the 80s when Poison was cool).

I have one friend like that. He's constantly trying to get me to join his hard rock cover band (a revolving door of average older dude musicians). He's in his mid 50s, balding on top, dad bod, etc. But he still wants to haul old passive PA equipment by the truckload to shows over as wide of a geographical area as he can book as often as possible. And he thinks he has the makings of enough "kick A" originals to record a "bad A" album and "see if it takes off".

He has a beautiful family (he's a grandfather by the way), and a great job. But he pisses away a good portion of his income propping up his little rock band.

That said, all of the people on my band are stable individuals. So I'm going to ride that out as long as I can.

The singer in my cover band is pushing 60 and is still recording originals on the side. I'm not sure why. And I don't have the heart to tell him his tunes aren't good. At least we don't have to play them live.

 

[glocke1]

The singer in my cover band is pushing 60 and is still recording originals on the side. I'm not sure why. And I don't have the heart to tell him his tunes aren't good. At least we don't have to play them live.

there are a couple of people I know like that...if it makes them happy no harm no foul I guess, but most of these originals just aren't very good and the self awareness they lack to make them realize that is concerning. One guy I know did a whole album of originals a few years back and hired some heavy hitters on the jam band scene for the lineup, but the music was just absolutely awful and many people were embarrassed for the guy.

It is just a drag for me as I like playing music but dealing with the unreasonable goals and expectations of others just makes it all an exercise in frustration, to the point where it just doesn't even really seem like its worth the effort as I get older.

 

[Wambemando]

Egomaniacs and pipe-dreamers...
I've played with a few.
Learn to spot them as soon as you can.
If my gut says "no" - that's it - I don't play the guilt game or even toy with the idea anymore.

 

[mongo2]

 

[Michedelic]

Oh yeah. Musicians are weirdos.

The saddest weirdos are the delusional ones. Like your friend, some simply get all excited about tribute bands for artists that simply don't warrant a tribute band. Some are dad's with dad bods and white New Balance sneakers who still dream of "making it big". They would sell their own children for a chance to open for Poison on tour (today....not back in the 80s when Poison was cool).

I have one friend like that. He's constantly trying to get me to join his hard rock cover band (a revolving door of average older dude musicians). He's in his mid 50s, balding on top, dad bod, etc. But he still wants to haul old passive PA equipment by the truckload to shows over as wide of a geographical area as he can book as often as possible. And he thinks he has the makings of enough "kick A" originals to record a "bad A" album and "see if it takes off".

He has a beautiful family (he's a grandfather by the way), and a great job. But he pisses away a good portion of his income propping up his little rock band.

That said, all of the people on my band are stable individuals. So I'm going to ride that out as long as I can.

Wait….Poison was cool?

 

[laristotle]

still wants to haul old passive PA equipment by the truckload

Mid 80's.
Responded to an ad for a guitarist (pre-www, newspaper ad).
Talked on the phone, sharing experience, tastes in music, set list etc. Everything seemed to click into place.
Got the address for audition. Guy asks me what I'm bringing.
Gibson SG and a 75w Marshall combo (5275).
Don't you have anything bigger?
Hiwatt Custom 100, 412 Fane cab.
Bring that!
What?! Too heavy and awkward for an audition. My combo's more than loud enough for this.
Bring it! or we don't want you.
..
..
good luck with your ad. *click*

 

[Hot Rats]

Wait….Poison was cool?

That's a big NO.

 

[HelpImaRock]

This is why I only play original music.

 

[wilberthenry]

Someone in their 50's (or really any age) wanting to play songs by a band/bands they liked in their youth is pretty common in my experience. Many seem oblivious to the fact that a band they like (Squeeze is a great example) was nominally popular at their peak and downright obscure now. If you are playing for kicks that is fine. There isn't much of a market in my area for bands that cover older music (even those that moved a lot of units years ago) that not many listen to now (Styx, Foreigner, etc), let alone more obscure acts. Sounds like you and your HS friend aren't a good musical match. Better to find this out early than after putting time in.

 

[two fingers]

Wait….Poison was cool?

You had to be the the right age. If you're too old, or too young, they never were. If you're in the sweet spot of age, and into mainstream radio rock, they were cool for a couple of years.

 

[laristotle]

Many kids grew up listening to their boomer/gen x parent's record collection keeping the music alive.

 

[Michedelic]

You had to be the the right age. If you're too old, or too young, they never were. If you're in the sweet spot of age, and into mainstream radio rock, they were cool for a couple of years.

Oh, I know all about it, I was the guy behind the counter selling the records to the kids. But I knew Motley Crue fans who looked down their noses at them as bandwagon jumping posers.

 

[Liam Wald]

Humans are basically crazy in general. They are like monkeys on LSD.
Why would anyone think musicians would be any different?

 

[Hurricane Jimmie]

This guy doesn't have all that.

So Anyway, at least now you know why.

I tried to put a band together with a guy who was gaga about The Smithereens. I had to learn about 10 of their songs to get started because I'd never heard of them. The project didn't work out (he couldn't/wouldn't turn his Mesa Boogie down), but I was introduced to a great rock band that I'd never heard of.

 

[ebo]

Anyone know a Poison tribute band I can join?

 

[Neil Folkard]

The singer in my cover band is pushing 60 and is still recording originals on the side. I'm not sure why. And I don't have the heart to tell him his tunes aren't good. At least we don't have to play them live.

I don't get this response at all. You're not sure why?? Maybe he likes making original music; how can there be anything wrong with that, regardless of your age? As long as you're not desperate to 'make it', creating original music is what it's all about, for me.

I'm in four bands, and they all play originals. The other week, we played a small club on indie Tuesday night, and there were about 50 very enthusiastic patrons there, and they liked us enough to want two encores. That is a feeling that I treasure and can't get from playing covers.

Plus, when you consider how easy it is these days, to get a quality recording out there, why wouldn't you, if that's what moves you? I can't speak to how good or not, the music is, but my friends aren't that supportive, that they'd come out regularly if my original bands sucked, that's for sure.

Edit: Oh, and the people in my bands are normal. I guess that I'm lucky, lol.

 

[buldog5151bass]

If it were me, I'd send him one more email thanking him, but stating exactly what you want to do and why. If he sends a rant, ignore it. If he ignores it, you know.

 

[Flatwound]

Fortunately, I’ve found some folks that want to play cover tunes in bars. That’s what I want to do. Learn songs, play them, get a little cash.

I remember trying out with a guy in his 50’s who had some originals, who thought he was going to be playing arenas. Boring, two-chord songs with no originality.

Then there are those who just want to do endless jam sessions. Yeah, no thanks.

When I meet musicians for the first time, I make it clear that I want to learn songs and go play them. That’s it. Let’s really learn the music, get tight, and play out.