As we get close to “perfection” in tuning - pure stretch, matched frequencies, etc - we achieve a “sound” that allows us to express emotion through music, without the imperfection that is always in music getting in the way.
But perfection can never be achieved.
People have commented, “How can my bass be in tune with a piano if the stupid thing isn’t even in tune with itself?!“ (I’m paraphrasing of course)
Well, it can’t. It’s like the first time you learned about equal temperament. “What!? Octaves and fifths can’t be in tune at the same time?”
But still, orchestras are able to create piano concertos that make people cry. Jazz groups with piano and bass out of tune with each other play songs that make people happy to be alive. It’s like walking a tight rope. A slight move one way or the other and poor intonation breaks the spell but the better intonation, that creates the magic, is not perfect.
You see? We don’t need to be perfect. Just good.
This ^^^ !
Furthermore, for the music to be good and generate emotions, the requirement on intonation is not the same for all notes.
For the notes which are the harmonic foundation of the tune, one should clearly strive to be as much in tune as possible, within the limitations and compromises discussed in the post above.
On the other hands, for passing notes (non chord tones, or chromatic notes) in melodic lines, there is a much broader range of possibilities for the benefit of expressivity, provided the harmonic notes you resolve to are well in tune.
An extreme example is the following: consider a jazz blues in Bb, i.e.:
Bb7 / Eb7 / Bb7 / Fm7 Bb7 /
Eb7 / Eb7 / Bb7 / G7 /
Cm7 / F7 / Bb7 / F7 //
In bar 7, to walk from Bb7 to G7, you can simply walk down from Bb to open G,
by dividing the minor third in 4 equal steps! Although all the passing notes are horribly out of tune (and would be impossible to notate on a staff), this constitutes a very convincing and smooth motion towards the G, which the ear accepts as musically logical. If you outline, by contrast, a strong, in-tune, G7 arpeggio upon landing, nobody will ever complain about your intonation.