Just wondering - what do Zombies have to do with the Grateful Dead?
The Dead happen to be one of the most positive energy bands I've ever come across.
Don't let the name and the imagery throw ya
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Playing with soul-less band mates
- Thread starter crow01
- Start date
Just wondering - what do Zombies have to do with the Grateful Dead?
The Dead happen to be one of the most positive energy bands I've ever come across.
Don't let the name and the imagery throw ya
Just wondering - what do Zombies have to do with the Grateful Dead? The Dead happen to be one of the most positive energy bands I've ever come across.
Lighten up will ya? My statement was intended to be humorous. I really think Jerry would have snickered a bit.
I would just like to let you know that I now have Grateful Dead ads on the side of my screen. Kthx.
+1 to helping the drummer. Heck! Help everyone. Being nice and helpful goes a long way. Don't help people and hope for a thanks. Do it because you want to. That is how I live my life.
When it comes to friendly or even just civil camaraderie, you should NEVER have to be someone's bitch (helping out a drummer pack and carry his stuff without acknowledgment or thanks) as a substitute for their lack of social skills.
Start backwards..can your audience tell?
Must be a very funky stage presence.
Best bands I've been in are lower talent higher group fun.
Must be a very funky stage presence.
Best bands I've been in are lower talent higher group fun.
I disagree, my friend. IME, to have a friendly relationship develop often requires humility. The attitude that you might "be someone's bitch" comes from a place of fear motivated by pride. I know that you don't necessarily want to jump on the grenade for every d*bag, but if there's on thing I've learn from marriage it's that it's not necessary to always be trying to assert our rights. You know?
It takes courage to endure some ungratefulness for awhile in the hopes that it'll make a difference. Sometimes, it doesn't make a difference--but if we don't have the patience and the courage to try it, we'll never know. It's not important to always be concerned with asserting your rights and demanding respect. If everybody wants respect and no one wants to be friendly, where will we end up? We'll end up with neither respect or friendship.
I'm just saying someone has to be the adult. Someone has to take the first step. The bassist didn't say that he needed anyone to help him carry his stuff. The only one offering the opportunity to help is the drummer. So, I'm saying take the opportunity and work with it.
I wouldn't do it endlessly. I would expect after a few times, you'd be able to get him to talk.
All this is assuming that the OP even wants to stay in this situation. Personally, I wouldn't. Not because I don't want to help; just because I think it's ridiculous that 4 people can't even be polite to each other after repeated encounters. You know? The "new guy" bass player is the only one who even bothered to ask the singer where he works! The other guys had been together for how long and never even thought to ask?!
That's just silly and weird to me so I wouldn't stay in that situation. Besides, don't you want to know if any of the guys in your band is a convicted axe murderer or is taking anti-depressants or something?
Strange group o' dudes. IF I was in that situation, I'd help and not worry about getting thanks right away...but I wouldn't stay in that situation anyway.
Some people are better suited for service roles than others. Give you an example, when I was a kid I worked at a gas station. I went to get a job at another gas station and after I started the owner insisted that I get on my knees and sweep the floor mats of the customers while they were getting gas. I did one car. I remember the feeling. I needed money, I was hungry. I decided it was better to go hungry and I refused to do any more. The other worker was an old guy and was a beaten down servant who did his duty. I'll never forget the look he gave me when I refused to sweep under people's feet, a cross between fear and repulsion. I quit after half a day. It was a lesson I never forgot, 30 years ago.
I don't serve people, I will provide a service but I won't be a servant. There is a difference. Carrying a load for another in the hopes of making the world a better place or being liked or whatever is fine for some, but I'm no holy man.
My choice is not motivated by fear - that's BS. To expect to be treated with dignity is not a fault. If respecting myself is called pride then I have it. I will not be someone's slave in the hopes of "drawing him out".
I will offer help. I help everyone I play with load and unload. I work until the work is done. When someone hands me my stuff I say "thanks" and place it in my car. Sometimes our gratitude is shown by the fact that we all are helping each other. Verbal thanks are not needed, we understand because we are all helping. That is the decent thing to do.
If you sit on your butt and watch me work, or let me help with your stuff but don't touch mine, then I'm done with you, and I won't lift a finger to help you.
And FWIW, I couldn't hang with a band like that. I couldn't imagine what playing together would be like, it's got to be awful.
I know exactly how you must feel and I guess it's a strange situation for you. I was in a band where the members just argued ALL the time, it was SO bad that I wondered how they even could bring themselves to play music together. I love playing music especially with others and I feel like music should also be fun and as well as a job. I couldn't blame you if you didn't stay in that situation very long. I knwo you said that they are good players and all the other good stuff, but you have to ask yourself if this is even worth it to you as a musician. I think band members who at least get to know each other on SOME level make a better band. I wuldn't feel like playing music with someone I couldn't even have a conversation with.
Isn't playing with others supposed to be Fun?
It doesn't sound like your situation is very much Fun.
It doesn't sound like your situation is very much Fun.
Adding a bit more of drama...
Had another practice today, let me recreate the scene for you:
- I always knock although the door is always unlocked and nobody replies. Ok, always one of the guitars say, whatsup. Nobody else.
- I rush to plug in my stuff, cause I never know when they are starting. Then I sit by the couch, while 2 other guys talk about I don't know what. I look at a magazine. Well I pretend to read it, cause I read it like 10 times already. Weird silence. I try a little chat but I doesn't work out. Guy blackberrying nonsense.
- Eventually I always ask about which songs will be on the playlist. They said sure but I don't get the list.
- They start playing a chili song, which I come in late cause they didn't call it.
- We go tru some songs and they say brake, then they start chain smoking (cigarettes of course). I am not sure if I should tell them not to smoke in that crowded little room.
- Brake over. The guitar sits down to play with the headstock pointing up, like he is bored to death.
- Practice over. Everybody takes off. I hear an "all right" from one of them.
The thing is that I was raised with manners and sense of community. For me it was common sense help load stuff. Maybe my common sense and their common sense it's completely different. It would be very hard for me not to be courteous or just don't help somebody else carrying an amp or stuff like that.
At the gig I guess people don't notice the band chemistry. They are either dancing or making sure the song is played note by note. Although at a point it seems like a robot is playing a very soulful song. It doesn't work. For sure the song sounds almost perfect, but there is no feeling whatsoever.
These are some seriously odd people! I have a few alternatives to name the band:
- Oddballs
- Oddworld
- Antisocial world
- Red hot chili weird
- Robot Soul
- The Vampires
- White zombie...oh man that one's taken.
I guess I will keep my eyes open for another band, and make a smooth switch.
Had another practice today, let me recreate the scene for you:
- I always knock although the door is always unlocked and nobody replies. Ok, always one of the guitars say, whatsup. Nobody else.
- I rush to plug in my stuff, cause I never know when they are starting. Then I sit by the couch, while 2 other guys talk about I don't know what. I look at a magazine. Well I pretend to read it, cause I read it like 10 times already. Weird silence. I try a little chat but I doesn't work out. Guy blackberrying nonsense.
- Eventually I always ask about which songs will be on the playlist. They said sure but I don't get the list.
- They start playing a chili song, which I come in late cause they didn't call it.
- We go tru some songs and they say brake, then they start chain smoking (cigarettes of course). I am not sure if I should tell them not to smoke in that crowded little room.
- Brake over. The guitar sits down to play with the headstock pointing up, like he is bored to death.
- Practice over. Everybody takes off. I hear an "all right" from one of them.
The thing is that I was raised with manners and sense of community. For me it was common sense help load stuff. Maybe my common sense and their common sense it's completely different. It would be very hard for me not to be courteous or just don't help somebody else carrying an amp or stuff like that.
At the gig I guess people don't notice the band chemistry. They are either dancing or making sure the song is played note by note. Although at a point it seems like a robot is playing a very soulful song. It doesn't work. For sure the song sounds almost perfect, but there is no feeling whatsoever.
These are some seriously odd people! I have a few alternatives to name the band:
- Oddballs
- Oddworld
- Antisocial world
- Red hot chili weird
- Robot Soul
- The Vampires
- White zombie...oh man that one's taken.
I guess I will keep my eyes open for another band, and make a smooth switch.
Man -- find a new band. I for one would not mesh well in a band like that. When I play with my band there is so much energy around us that we our chemistry connects. We dont talk a whole lot when we are rehearsing because well we are playing, but there is eye communication going on and respect for each others roles. When we are not playing we crack jokes, tell stories, talk about our day at work, plans for the weekends, etc. We are not best of friends (**** we are group formed off craigs list!) but we have a lot in common and enjoy each others company during rehearsals and practice. We help each other load up our gear, do we always say thank you? no, we don't have too all the time because we know the person is grateful for it.
Any who, moral of the story is here if you guys dont have chemistry together I cant imagine how the music comes out (regardless of if every note is played correctly). If I am jumping around like a maniac my singer and drummer love it. They feed off my energy. Sounds like these guys just stand around with their thumbs up their @ss. Time to move on. Hate to say it.
Any who, moral of the story is here if you guys dont have chemistry together I cant imagine how the music comes out (regardless of if every note is played correctly). If I am jumping around like a maniac my singer and drummer love it. They feed off my energy. Sounds like these guys just stand around with their thumbs up their @ss. Time to move on. Hate to say it.
I subbed in an touring agency bands just like this...everyone was into thier own separate thing...the gig was just a paying job...nobody really hung together off stage...this was back in the early 90's when bands played at Adams Mark's Holliday Inns but these bands were made up of singers and players from all over the country that regularly did studio and stage work and used the touring as paid vacations....Caman Islands...Hawai...Denver...Miami...the bands was paid $5000.00/wk plus hotel room, food some covered stage clothing and cleaning....they were some great players but had no intentions to writing originals etc
You need a new band, one that respects you, and one that doesn't cause you THIS type of stress. That's not what music is about.
Good luck in the hunt. Humility is always a two way street, and there's no need to ever suffer ungrateful people. Don't surround yourself with such types, you seem better than that.
In my opinion, finding a band with a good dynamic and with minimal dysfunction is just as complicated as was the Manhattan Project.
Good luck in the hunt. Humility is always a two way street, and there's no need to ever suffer ungrateful people. Don't surround yourself with such types, you seem better than that.
In my opinion, finding a band with a good dynamic and with minimal dysfunction is just as complicated as was the Manhattan Project.
If I were you, I'd just ask them what the faq is going on... I couldn't be able to survive something like that for more than an hour, I would have to do anything to make these guys talk, or just get outa there.
My band isn't close friends, but we talk, laugh and have a lot of fun all the time. That's what I'm used to.
My band isn't close friends, but we talk, laugh and have a lot of fun all the time. That's what I'm used to.
They started right in...they also changed the set list before the start....thew in a couple of key changes....this is after I only had 4 days to learn 36 songs....they gave me tapes of their show...no rehearsal...it all turned out to be a test to see how I would do because they could call the agency and have me replaced if I did not work out the first night...! got them back by charging "head ache pay" when I signed the 2 week contract!
It sounds like you got to play with a bunch of Azz Wipes too!
Screw That!
I would rather stay home than try to play with people who are dead set on trying to make me look bad. Making music to me means good times, and that kind of crap is not fun, It's not all about the money.
