Possibly leaving the band

[hrodbert696]

About 2 years ago a great friend of mine, who is one of the best guitarist in the area, let me know that the band he was in was losing their bassist and asked if I’d be interested in joining the group. It’s an oldies band that has a house gig each week and plays probably 20-25 other gigs on weekends.
The leader is a vocal legend in our area and has a following. It’s a “no pressure” position and the band is mainly about having fun when playing with less focus on everything being perfect. I took the job and it’s been fun and I get along great with everyone.
I first had some problems with the keyboardist because his left hand was always drifting down in my register, but that’s been resolved.

As soon as I joined the band it started getting tighter and sounding a lot more professional. It’s the best this band has ever sounded since its inception about 15 years ago, but we have some problems that are causing the guitar player, drummer and I to think about leaving.

1) We’ve had 4 rehearsals in two years so no new material has been added in quite a while.
2) When we decide to learn a song the keyboard player never works on it at home.
3) We’ve been trying to stick to a setlist to keep things moving but the leader changes things in the middle of the set causing delays between tunes.
4) We have two people in the band who drink quite a bit & it’s starting to create problems.
5). Last week we had a “vocals only” rehearsal. The girl singer is very good but when it comes to singing background parts she just sings whatever she wants whenever she wants. We decided to work on parts and when she was asked to learn some parts she rolled her eyes, but complied with our suggestion. However she didn’t bother write down anything and when it came to the two gigs we had last week, she sang whatever whenever. When she was asked about it she just smiled, rolled her eyes and walked away.
6) The girl singer also has a habit of texting while on-stage, putting on lip gloss on-stage and walking off the stage when she’s supposed to be singing background. She doesn’t walk off consistently otherwise we could work address it. She might be in the middle of singing a background part and just walk off to socialize.

The drummer and I are having a meeting tomorrow afternoon with the BL to bring all of this up and to let him know he’s about to lose most of his rhythm section in one quick swipe.
I’ve never been a part of band where members don’t want to work to get better. It’s also something I don’t care to be a part of.

"Guitar player, drummer and I" sounds like... a band. Where's the local legend singer in all this? Sounds to me like one of the three of your start singing, or recruit a singer, and off you go.

 

[Core Creek]

$ is a factor for me. If gigs are well paying I might as well accept the situation and take the $. If the gigs are crappy pay I’d move on quick.

Your definition of well paying may not be the same as mine. But I’ll deal with a lot of BS for a $1000 wedding gig that I won’t deal with for a $100 bar gig.

 

[gln1955]

$ is a factor for me. If gigs are well paying I might as well accept the situation and take the $. If the gigs are crappy pay I’d move on quick.

Your definition of well paying may not be the same as mine. But I’ll deal with a lot of BS for a $1000 wedding gig that I won’t deal with for a $100 bar gig.

This band with this singer isn't getting $1000 wedding gigs.

 

[pepj]

$3000 wedding gigs here are very tough to get.
To get $1000 per man is either a very lucky break or you are geared up for it and do it almost every week
That sort of budget wedding gig vanished around here about 7 or 8 years ago.
You'd have to chase that gig now very hard via agency work or personal-personal connections.
Not impossible but a high pressure gig.

 

[Core Creek]

This band with this singer isn't getting $1000 wedding gigs.

Well, there’s a lot of space between $100 and $1000. If the $ is decent enough by whatever standard you measure it, it might be worth sticking around. If the $ is unimportant to you, or low by most standards, perhaps move on - not much is going to change.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Yep, no band is drama free, but have to say the level of unprofessional behaviour some list on these pages is amazing..in a bad way.

I dont recognise them in any bands I've been involved in for the last 30 yrs.

I don't think this is down to luck.

Maybe not down to luck, maybe just wishfully thinking these things will go away and/or lack of comfort setting boundaries with others.

Being willing to walk and accept the consequences of getting back out there is a freeing thing.

 

[Pep]

"Guitar player, drummer and I" sounds like... a band. Where's the local legend singer in all this? Sounds to me like one of the three of your start singing, or recruit a singer, and off you go.

We’re still in the group awaiting whatever “fallout” might come from a couple of members.

 

[DJ Bebop]

About 2 years ago a great friend of mine, who is one of the best guitarist in the area, let me know that the band he was in was losing their bassist and asked if I’d be interested in joining the group. It’s an oldies band that has a house gig each week and plays probably 20-25 other gigs on weekends.
The leader is a vocal legend in our area and has a following. It’s a “no pressure” position and the band is mainly about having fun when playing with less focus on everything being perfect. I took the job and it’s been fun and I get along great with everyone.
I first had some problems with the keyboardist because his left hand was always drifting down in my register, but that’s been resolved.

As soon as I joined the band it started getting tighter and sounding a lot more professional. It’s the best this band has ever sounded since its inception about 15 years ago, but we have some problems that are causing the guitar player, drummer and I to think about leaving.

1) We’ve had 4 rehearsals in two years so no new material has been added in quite a while.
2) When we decide to learn a song the keyboard player never works on it at home.
3) We’ve been trying to stick to a setlist to keep things moving but the leader changes things in the middle of the set causing delays between tunes.
4) We have two people in the band who drink quite a bit & it’s starting to create problems.
5). Last week we had a “vocals only” rehearsal. The girl singer is very good but when it comes to singing background parts she just sings whatever she wants whenever she wants. We decided to work on parts and when she was asked to learn some parts she rolled her eyes, but complied with our suggestion. However she didn’t bother write down anything and when it came to the two gigs we had last week, she sang whatever whenever. When she was asked about it she just smiled, rolled her eyes and walked away.
6) The girl singer also has a habit of texting while on-stage, putting on lip gloss on-stage and walking off the stage when she’s supposed to be singing background. She doesn’t walk off consistently otherwise we could work address it. She might be in the middle of singing a background part and just walk off to socialize.

The drummer and I are having a meeting tomorrow afternoon with the BL to bring all of this up and to let him know he’s about to lose most of his rhythm section in one quick swipe.
I’ve never been a part of band where members don’t want to work to get better. It’s also something I don’t care to be a part of.

 

[Pep]

Yep, no band is drama free, but have to say the level of unprofessional behaviour some list on these pages is amazing..in a bad way.

I dont recognise them in any bands I've been involved in for the last 30 yrs.

I don't think this is down to luck.

We need to take care with the girl singer. Prior to this band she had only done Karoake. She’s been with the band for about 6 years so all the bad habits she’s guilty of were never addressed so that’s really not her fault. Yes, she should know better but . . . . . .

 

[Pocket Dave]

We need to take care with the girl singer. Prior to this band she had only done Karoake. She’s been with the band for about 6 years so all the bad habits she’s guilty of were never addressed so that’s really not her fault. Yes, she should know better but . . . . . .

Fault has nothing to do with it. It's the BL's responsibility to address the problem. Hopefully he's fair and effective. No matter - I'd be out if he failed to do so,

 

[pepj]

It still all counts as degrees of drama that you either deal with, ignore or whatever.
We have a very talented, imv, singer and piano player who has never needed to operate in bands. She is professional on the gigs she does but she hasn't really got the band thing down...the type of stuff we came across when we first got out there.

Her performances vocally and on keys make her a real assett... the fact that she can't get to grips quickly with the keyboard sounds we bring for her is a bit of a drag but when all weighed up, not something we stress about.
Yep, she is a bit of a diva but thats just blokes banter. We are all grown up enough to sort the woods from the trees.

The problems really come when the downsides..such as perceived... outweigh the upside.

We are trying to hang onto her..for sure.