Pressure to get better

[elberon]

It would be great if you could find a musical mentor who’s generous with their time and experience. Sounds like you’re willing to make a commitment to music and the bass but be aware that you may never reap financial benefits from it as you would if you learned a trade. Some of the best musicians I’ve come across have been doctors, lawyers, mail deliverers and involved in various other careers that give them the financial stability to pursue music on their own terms.

 

[portpc]

I thought that I was done with cover bands when I was 30, sure of it. I'm 62 now & busier than ever. What do we really know about anything?.. Besides playing bass is awesome ,that is?

Hang in there, Perspectives change. What music do you enjoy? Work on breaking down what the bass is doing. Study as other posters have suggested but keep it simple. Hal Leonard / Mel Bay. Get yourself educated as most never do.
When the black cloud of self doubt approaches tell it to go away you are busy working on your skill & having fun. Don't worry about your ability vs other musicians, Focus on the only person you can change.

Keep at it and eventually you will meet others who you can jam with. You will quickly notice their isms' may be greater than yours and you will be telling them to relax.

 

[p12bassnut]

Try not to be so hard on yourself, as a largely self taught player I know it is a long process. It's in the journey where u find joy. (cliché I know)
How do you eat an elephant ? - one bite at a time.
Set realistic goals and write down a plan to achieve. You will reap the joy of reaching those goals after much hard work.

 

[tzonline]

I really appreciate the input from everyone. It means a lot. I will take all of your advice and do my best to stay mindful.

 

[bherman]

I have been focusing on roots and chord changes just trying to keep it simple. I've gotten along with the people I jam with as far as I can tell. I thinks its my technique. I know I suck and I've always made it clear I'm inexperienced but it still happens. I'm grateful for the chance to play with others and I understand they don't want to continue playing with someone at my level. I can play a few songs and can run through the patterns of scales but I struggle to understand the connection to actual playing. I practice everyday for an hour at least. My mind is what really holds me back. I often get distracted by so many different things I need to learn and forget to enjoy the journey and become focused on outcomes which I know is wrong.

You're on the right track in that you at least know that you are on the wrong track. Seriously, it is easy to psych yourself out. When I started back into playing after a few years of playing electric bass, I decided that I wanted to get back into upright, so I went out and bought one. Man, did I struggle. I was a really good player - both electric and upright - but getting back into upright playing just about killed me. I was whining about it one day to my wife - my lack of progress, how hard it seemed. etc - and she looked at me and said, " what's the rush?" so instead of selling the upright, I just kept at it and while it took me longer thanI thought it would, I eventually got to where I could at least hold my own. Now I play in a band with both upright and electric, and I still work at it every day.

The key is, 1) get focused and methodical in your practice, don't just noodle around (see my earlier post about the Hal Leonard method, and 2) don't beat yourself up, just sit down and get to work. You'll get there, but its harder than people think it will be.

 

[ProbablyTooLoud]

Dude I'm in Decatur GA.
I take lessons from Chris Riggenbach, who teaches at Emory and lives up around Canton.
Where you at?

 

[DirtDog]

So, what’s your aspiration? In terms of music genre, playing style and general musicianship. Where are you now? What do you see yourself doing (as a bass player) in 3-5 years? Gigging with a band? Writing music? Or simply playing for your own enjoyment/entertainment? Each of these will have an impact on your learning curve and the time it’ll take you to get there.

Figure those things out and the path becomes clearer. The path to becoming a competent blues bass player is going to be different than becoming a shredder in a prog band or a soloist in a jazz band.


Understand, though, that circumstances can and do change. And that’s OK.

 

[tzonline]

Dude I'm in Decatur GA.
I take lessons from Chris Riggenbach, who teaches at Emory and lives up around Canton.
Where you at?

Dude I'm in Decatur GA.
I take lessons from Chris Riggenbach, who teaches at Emory and lives up around Canton.
Where you at?

Nice! I'm in Dawsonville, but I'm more than willing to drive to Canton if he can take new students!

 

[ProbablyTooLoud]

Nice! I'm in Dawsonville, but I'm more than willing to drive to Canton if he can take new students!

I'll message you.

 

[friskinator]

I’m in ATL proper. Honestly, it’s not a great music city these days unless you’re into hip hop, which isn’t exactly dependent on live players. If you’re gonna move here, try to focus on improving the rest of your life outside music. Maybe something musical will happen, but if not, you’ll still be in a more thriving location with more opportunities.

 

[GTx2]

I have been focusing on roots and chord changes just trying to keep it simple. I've gotten along with the people I jam with as far as I can tell. I thinks its my technique. I know I suck and I've always made it clear I'm inexperienced but it still happens. I'm grateful for the chance to play with others and I understand they don't want to continue playing with someone at my level. I can play a few songs and can run through the patterns of scales but I struggle to understand the connection to actual playing. I practice everyday for an hour at least. My mind is what really holds me back. I often get distracted by so many different things I need to learn and forget to enjoy the journey and become focused on outcomes which I know is wrong.

Weaponize your ADHD and go for more of this and less of this.

 

[Katoosie]

You are in a very similar situation to my own.

I also started playing right as the pandemic hit. I'm also 28! I had no previous musical knowledge, no prior experience, nothing. I haven't even held a guitar in my life before I got gifted my first bass.

I struggled a lot in my life with finding joy in things due to a sleugh of mental health issues and some substance abuse etc - and even though I have worked through that a while ago, it still has kind of spilled over to my music as well, in a sense thatII had a hard time grasping the "why" of it all.

I mean, a lot of people don't really think about the why of playing music - for many it can be because its simply cool or because their parents were musicians, or maybe they wanted to start because of their favourite band had a drummer they really liked or whatever - my point is, there are as many "whys" as there are people.

I started in 2020 and my own why has changed from "I want to be the best technical bassist I can be" to simply landing on "I like the feeling of the strings under my fingers" in 2023.

I was playing non stop for hours every day until I finally realized that I don't really need to be an absolute pro, I would rather just enjoy it and take it slow. My priorities have changed, I was putting way too much pressure on myself to the point that I would get serious anxiety when I got near my bass, it stopped me from playing.

Now I play because it feels good to play. I like feeling the groove, I like practicing different things and I'm even looking into getting in person lessons. Maybe it will take me somewhere where I will end up playing with some other people, but even if it doesn't, there is too much in this bass thing for me not to enjoy the journey itself.

I even learned how to solder and do other dumb stuff because of this! Wild.

My 2 cents.

<3

 

[P. Aaron]

I'm not really sure how to express my thoughts on this but here it goes. I'm 28 and I picked up bass in the beginning of pandemic. I've feel that I've fallen for this instrument. I want to be a bass player. Nothing in my life has ever interested me like this. I don't know if its a generational thing or I'm just damaged, but this pressure to become more skilled and progress to a level I can actually perform with others and be creative is debilitating for me.

My whole life has been bouncing from one thing to another wasting time and chasing things that don't matter. I have had good paying jobs but they just feel like a slow death. I feel so much guilt for the time wasted and what could have been. My family has a history with depression and ADHD I seem to have gotten some of it so I take medications for this. I workout often, I eat healthy, I keep my body in check, but nothing seems to help. I always end up back to this mindset. I know how stupid it is to think its over because I'm 28, but I just cant shake it.

Financially I'm stuck in a small town 2 hours outside of Atlanta with no community that everyone leaves as soon as they can. I cannot find a teacher to save my life, the very few times I've managed to find a couple people to jam with they just end up ghosting me. I have driven to Atlanta to attend open mics and try to network, I've been through craigslist a million times with no success. I use StudyBass.com and lessons from youtube but I feel that I can't grasp any of the concepts. Playing bass is the only pursuit that has ever given me joy and hope. I don't care about success and fame. I just want to live a decent life doing this in some capacity. I'm sorry if this post has been made a million times, but I just need some advice.

How do I stop putting this horrible pressure on myself?

There's always going to be pressure or things you need to/have to do. These things can cause stress if you let them pile up. Some stress to get a task done is an ok and even healthy thing. Stressing about things piling up isn't the best situation to be in and can lead to anxiety and a despairing feeling.

Solving tasks or problems isn't always easy. Upon first encountering some problems, it's hard to see past a problem. As you become familiar to an issue, that can lead to solutions and many times, that solution, or at least the stress you feel as you work through solving the issue can benefit you as you learn to solve other problems. It's adult life; young and old. Some of us just have a more philosophical manner about dealing with the next life/work/relationship or music issue.

Not to blog roll forever here but, there are one-horse towns. They work great for many and have their charm but, if it's musical/career, life enrichment you seek, it often times involves relocation. Happens to lots of us. A hassle, another stinkin' problem? Yeah. We feel for ya.
It sounds like you may need to relocate in order to fulfill some musical dreams and goals. Not uncommon. And HOW, where do you choose to go? Trust your gut, your instincts. You may be right but, you'll still have to build something. Likely several times in order to make something work. It's work, like so much else.

It's also important to find friends or at least people you can trust. This takes time too.

Sorry, no easy answers. We've all been there.

 

[tzonline]

You are in a very similar situation to my own.

I also started playing right as the pandemic hit. I'm also 28! I had no previous musical knowledge, no prior experience, nothing. I haven't even held a guitar in my life before I got gifted my first bass.

I struggled a lot in my life with finding joy in things due to a sleugh of mental health issues and some substance abuse etc - and even though I have worked through that a while ago, it still has kind of spilled over to my music as well, in a sense thatII had a hard time grasping the "why" of it all.

I mean, a lot of people don't really think about the why of playing music - for many it can be because its simply cool or because their parents were musicians, or maybe they wanted to start because of their favourite band had a drummer they really liked or whatever - my point is, there are as many "whys" as there are people.

I started in 2020 and my own why has changed from "I want to be the best technical bassist I can be" to simply landing on "I like the feeling of the strings under my fingers" in 2023.

I was playing non stop for hours every day until I finally realized that I don't really need to be an absolute pro, I would rather just enjoy it and take it slow. My priorities have changed, I was putting way too much pressure on myself to the point that I would get serious anxiety when I got near my bass, it stopped me from playing.

Now I play because it feels good to play. I like feeling the groove, I like practicing different things and I'm even looking into getting in person lessons. Maybe it will take me somewhere where I will end up playing with some other people, but even if it doesn't, there is too much in this bass thing for me not to enjoy the journey itself.

I even learned how to solder and do other dumb stuff because of this! Wild.

My 2 cents.

<3

I feel you. I've recently curbed some of those issues in my own life. Even had a hard time picking up the bass for a few weeks as well. These past couple years have brought up a lot of questions for me.

 

[CallMeAl]

Reading thru your posts, it sounds like the pressure is coming from trying to make music fill other holes in your life. I’d say make yourself whole, treat the mental struggles (depression? Anxiety?) and/or the adhd. Music is fantastic as a stress release, hobby, sense of purpose… but can’t fix everything. (Personally I got a lot from Buddhism, Eckhart Tolle and Meditation.)

As for the bass, sounds like you might have a line on an in person teacher, so I’d persue that. If that doesn’t work, try and find an online teacher (not canned, prerecorded lessons; someone you can video call with.) And try to balance “pushing yourself” with playing stuff you enjoy. Play lots of stuff that brings a smile to your face. Try out song writing, recording, reading, new techniques and genres. (I was surprised by how much I gained from, and enjoyed walking bass.)

best of luck to you!

 

[wiscoaster]

...

How do I stop putting this horrible pressure on myself?

Just do what you can where you can and be satisfied with that for now. You will progress. You have lots of time ahead of you.

 

[bigdaddybass12]

Learn something new. Don’t play the same stuff over and over.
(I say from experience)

 

[Slough Feg Bass]

learn some Led Zeppelin songs, and some Black Sabbath songs. Then find some dudes to jam with and play it really loud, then buy a Mel Bay book on electric bass and learn it inside and out.
You'll be pretty good at that point.
have fun!

 

[Bassic_desires]

@tzonline I live in Australia. My bass guitar teacher lives in Bolivia. The Internet works, even if it is not perfect. Best wishes in developing your skills.

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

Yea my internet is good. Do you have any suggestions?

I give free lessons with just three caveats:

1) You must practice thirty minutes per day (Giving my time and wasting my time are two different things).
2) I give my lessons using Skype. You have to have Skype
3) You having a webcam is almost essential so I can see what you're doing/any mistakes you may be making.

(using headphones as opposed to cheap laptop or desktop speakers is a bonus)

Feel free to send a private message.