• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join freeLog in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Private party gigs and meals

Having a bit of a discussion in our band re. Playing private parties and eating with and at the same time as the guests. We played an outdoor barbecue last summer and as soon as they announced burgers and sausages were done, we were on break, our drummer booted it right almost to front of line. The rest of us didn’t eat then. The singer waited until after next set and myself and guitarist didn’t eat at all. I personally never eat the food for guests at a gig, and decline if the hosts ask, even if we are out of sight. Just my way, I don’t think they are responsible for my gastric needs. I just wanna keep it as a job, not a social event. I don’t think it is wrong to be fed, away from the party, I will decline still, but I think the drummer was a bit out of line. His response to me was “ you obviously never worked as a hired hand on a farm, the help always gets fed”.
 
If invited or offered,nothing wrong with eating with the guests,in fact some hosts will be offended if you decline! I personally do not enjoy playing on a full stomach.
Yup, playing on a full stomach sucks, not to mention spitting tiny food chunks on my mic. I agree nothing wrong if food provided, just had a minor annoyance with the drummer getting in line ahead of party goers,
 
If invited or offered,nothing wrong with eating with the guests,in fact some hosts will be offended if you decline! I personally do not enjoy playing on a full stomach.

My grandmother, Maria Columbo DiMateo, was always offended when people declined food. She took it as almost a personal insult.

When I was gigging, we didn't do a lot events. So, most of my food experience was what we asked the facility to have backstage.

I was a guest at a wedding and someone at my table was objecting to the band, eating at their own table (off in a corner, near the kitchen door). They got pretty ugly.

My date and I found another table at which to sit.
 
Last edited:
When we do those types of gigs, it is discussed at the time of booking. only band members, no G F, or S O.
and preferably at a table at the back of the venue, or the green room if available.
I have never done a gig where this has been an issue especially if they prefer us to be setup and sound checked before guests arrive. We have music playing from our pa

Duke
 
ONLY if asked or included in the arrangements or contract, and personally for me, I 'd prefer after, not during the gig (or a take-home meal), and segregated from the party.

You never just include yourself, barge into the line, party with the party, or drag in your wife, girlfriend, or non-band buddies or family.

Do you want to be professionals, or some garage band that thinks they're somebody . . . they aren't?
 
It’s usually pre determined therefore eliminating any problems at venue.
Bandleader includes this in pre show email so we can plan accordingly. ( Bring food or bring feed bag )
Many times the hosts go above and beyond for the band.
Bad manners is another situation that can sometimes be awkward.
 
Last edited:
Virtually every culture t/o the world has a phrase which roughly translates to “have you eaten?”. Mealtime is intended to be a shared communal experience. If walking to & from the mailbox, an Italian mother will fix you a sandwich for the trip.

Riis

Hilarious! I grew up with two Jewish grandmothers, first thing they asked when you walk in the door (note that they're already preparing something) is "are you hungry?" No is not an acceptable answer. I do miss them both dearly though.....
 
Hilarious! I grew up with two Jewish grandmothers, first thing they asked when you walk in the door (note that they're already preparing something) is "are you hungry?" No is not an acceptable answer. I do miss them both dearly though.....

“Not hungry” means a trip to the doctor.

Grand Junction? Kids went to Mesa State. Look-up Vern Soucie.

Riis
 
I wouldn't expect to be fed (and I might choose not to eat) at a private party, but I would definitely note if for some reason the partyholder requested that I don't eat at their party... unless it was for some fairly obvious reason, like if it's a formal or ceremonial event. I wouldn't just dive into the cake at a wedding, but if it's a summer party and there's dogs or burgers and such, then yeah, I'll eat.

I don't really see the partyholder as being responsible for my gastric needs, but seeing as my employment is at their party-- and their party is the source of food that is available to me around lunch or dinnertime-- I would consider it a common courtesy for the offer to at least be open within reason. If I were holding a party like that, I would feel weird about making people I'm paying work their eating schedule around my party when I just have food there.