Private party gigs and meals

[MultiScaleMale]

It really depends on the situation. At these private events where you set up hours before, you have to eat sometime. If it's burgers and dogs, it would be a different situation than if it's tomahawk steaks or lobster. As always, this is best discussed before the event.

 

[Cave Puppy]

You’ll get a feel for what’s appropriate. When in doubt, ask. I played quite a few parties where they forced us to take leftover food home with us. I’ve also played lots of parties where I didn’t eat because I didn’t get the vibe that I could.

 

[sean_on_bass]

Having a bit of a discussion in our band re. Playing private parties and eating with and at the same time as the guests. We played an outdoor barbecue last summer and as soon as they announced burgers and sausages were done, we were on break, our drummer booted it right almost to front of line. The rest of us didn’t eat then. The singer waited until after next set and myself and guitarist didn’t eat at all. I personally never eat the food for guests at a gig, and decline if the hosts ask, even if we are out of sight. Just my way, I don’t think they are responsible for my gastric needs. I just wanna keep it as a job, not a social event. I don’t think it is wrong to be fed, away from the party, I will decline still, but I think the drummer was a bit out of line. His response to me was “ you obviously never worked as a hired hand on a farm, the help always gets fed”.

It's up to the client. Nothing should be assumed. My BL's will generally ask if a meal is provided ahead of time, and negotiate the rules of the road for it. It could be eating on a set break in the same area as the guests, or at the end of the gig, or not at all. At the end of the day it is not your food unless offered.

 

[arbiterusa]

“ you obviously never worked as a hired hand on a farm, the help always gets fed”.

That's all well and good for a farm but that's not how it works for private parties unless you are specifically told otherwise.

 

[coy garcia]

I always eat if offered but after the guest have been served...it's just common courtesy. My singer would have done what your drummer did most likely.

 

[gazzatriumph]

We played a private birthday party and the host insisted we got fed before the guests. As long as the host invites you there is nothing wrong with accepting.

 

[longfinger]

Meals at private events should be specified in the contract.

If the event spans a normal eating time (lunch, dinner), I do expect to be provided a basic meal.
The catered food will just get thrown away at the end of the event, so everyone should eat up.

But of course, guests come first. Musician cutting in the buffet line, or cueing up when there is a crowd is bad form. (Served before the guests arrive is cool.)

 

[mrcbass]

I've played a few "meals provided" gigs. If it's food that I like, I'll eventually have a respectful helping - if I'm hungry. Have missed out by waiting before, but I managed to survive. When we eat is largely decided by the event - sometimes with guests, sometimes before or later.

I have no issue with this and appreciate being treated like a human being. But yeah, a couple of my band mates act they haven't eaten in weeks when we do these gigs. It's a little embarrassing when they pile their plates high and then take leftovers home. I've given them a little grief, but just learn to try to ignore

 

[MYLOWFREQ]

Inviting your significant other to a private party is wrong.
Inviting him/her to a regular gig is OK.
Booting towards the front of line for food before everyone is wrong (unless you're the drummer, then it's OK.)
Refusing food when offered might be rude.

 

[bassbrad]

Suit yourself, but you obviously have never been a starving musician. When I started playing in the 70's if a venue served food, feeding the band was expected as part of the compensation. This of course has changed. I prefer to eat after the gig or early enough as to not feel full and often take food home after the gig. Also I don't like to be rushed and if there is a long enough break between sets, like an awards or if there is a speaker then I will happily nosh some tasty food.

 

[bigdaddybass12]

For many years I was a wedding photographer. Photo'd 20-25 per year. Kinda the same situation. If it was a sit-down dinner, sometimes we would have a reserved seat. there were some sit-downs we had no seat and was not offered any food. Usually weddings are a buffet style. We would finish our work, waiting for couple to leave we (me & assistant) would quietly fix a small plate and stand out of sight and eat.
The main thing is to be PROFESSIONAL about it. Asking person who hired you is always a safe bet. Then, end of the line, once thru, small plate, not seconds & thirds, not drinking too much, not being loud.

 

[MattZilla]

The way I was raised, if food is part of the event you’re working in any capacity, musician, photog, security, etc., it’s bad taste either 1) for the planner to not be providing the same food to the help or 2) to be being a hired hand showing up to work without your own lunch.

Drummer being a drummer-unrestrained and rushing to the front of the line caused me second/third hand embarrassment.

 

[Kael]

It goes against everything I stand for to turn down free food. If it is on offer, I'm eating. If it isn't, I will most likely ask with no expectation of a meal on offer. I've encountered perhaps 4 or 5 hard no's in my career. I've encountered plenty of eat backstage requests which honestly I am happy to comply with. I find it more relaxing to disappear for a bit and not be "on" where the audience can see.

 

[JRA]

one band: meals for the band are part of the contract. musicians know they will eat and have beverages, but they don't always know what it will be --- everything from pizza in the green room, to the same prime rib as the guests, served in the same dining/banquet room (at the "band table") or the dressing room. the BL and MD usually want the band fed before the music.

the other band: the private party gigs can be pretty loose, but i can't remember a purchaser who didn't ask the band to partake and enjoy the offerings. some of those can be non-stop food/drink orgies for the duration.

pickup gigs: one or the other, above, and either way: many are buffet-style, serve yourself, whenever.

in my old age, i eat early so that i don't have to eat at the gig --- i might, but i don't like eating just before i play.


it would be poor form for anyone in the band to 'jump to the head of the line' unless invited/directed to do so. but who doesn't know that?

 

[SoCal80s]

When I negotiate a private party, I tell them "if you can include food and drink for the band, the price is $XXX." If for some reason they don't want to feed us, then I'll come back with a higher price. I think they understand that I'm trying to keep the price reasonable for them and have never had anyone decline food and drinks this way. But either way, it is the HOST'S decision. If they agree, then I put it in the contract as "Client will provide Band with minimum of four meals and four beverages of Client’s choosing." Note that I don't specify alcoholic drinks, we leave that to the client (but they've always provided alcoholic drinks).

Many times I've had hosts offer to allow us to bring guests and that is the only situation where I would allow our guys to bring guests. I have never asked a private party if we can bring guests, it only happens when they offer on their own.

 

[singlemalt]

Just stay away from the potato salad. Its not worth the risk.

 

[Ostie]

At many weddings, someone is paying for the meals per plate. You may be taking food out of a guest's mouth if you help yourself. If invited, it's a personal choice. But never rush to head of the line, and never load up with leftover food at the end, unless offered.

 

[Snarf]

Having a bit of a discussion in our band re. Playing private parties and eating with and at the same time as the guests. We played an outdoor barbecue last summer and as soon as they announced burgers and sausages were done, we were on break, our drummer booted it right almost to front of line. The rest of us didn’t eat then. The singer waited until after next set and myself and guitarist didn’t eat at all. I personally never eat the food for guests at a gig, and decline if the hosts ask, even if we are out of sight. Just my way, I don’t think they are responsible for my gastric needs. I just wanna keep it as a job, not a social event. I don’t think it is wrong to be fed, away from the party, I will decline still, but I think the drummer was a bit out of line. His response to me was “ you obviously never worked as a hired hand on a farm, the help always gets fed”.

Okay, refusing food when offered at a gig is actually usually offensive to the client/host. Be very careful with that.

Your drummer is at the other end. Don't jump to the front, guests go first. That's if it's buffet. If you're doing vendor meals, you're at the mercy of the venue.

 

[/\/\3phist0]

I should have added the drummer constantly invites his significant other even to private corporate events. Very awkward some times.

She’s probably his ride

 

[pbassnut]

Having a bit of a discussion in our band re. Playing private parties and eating with and at the same time as the guests. We played an outdoor barbecue last summer and as soon as they announced burgers and sausages were done, we were on break, our drummer booted it right almost to front of line. The rest of us didn’t eat then. The singer waited until after next set and myself and guitarist didn’t eat at all. I personally never eat the food for guests at a gig, and decline if the hosts ask, even if we are out of sight. Just my way, I don’t think they are responsible for my gastric needs. I just wanna keep it as a job, not a social event. I don’t think it is wrong to be fed, away from the party, I will decline still, but I think the drummer was a bit out of line. His response to me was “ you obviously never worked as a hired hand on a farm, the help always gets fed”.

If we're offered a shot at the feedbag at a gig and they have good food that I want to eat, I have absolutely no problem with eating at a gig. I don't bolt to the front of the line, but guests often let the band "butt in" so we can knock it back and get back up on stage to entertain them. As far as "eating in front of the guests" ... I very rarely play in situations where there's a dressing room or private space for the band to hang so that's rarely an option. I find that mixing with the crowd and making friends who might want to come see us again and/or hire us is a good thing.