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Private party gigs and meals

#61
I like posts if I agree and/or they make me chuckle, which was a bunch in this entertaining thread, and fall into the "It's OK if invited/arranged, and don't but ahead of the guests" camp. The "different menu for employees" brought back some nice memories from when I bussed at a pretty good Steakhouse in the mid 70s. After we finished up and things slowed down, Nate would fix the kitchen staff "Bus Boy Specials" - huge Cheeseburgers (they aren't on the menu). :D
 
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#62
Never "assume" you are getting fed. Rather, assume the opposite unless otherwise told. If the band was told/offered to eat with everyone else, then sure, makes sense to take a break when the food is served. I know many musicians think it's part of their pay, but that should not be an assumption, especially at a private show. And rushing to the front of the line, that's bad mojo.
 
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#66
How is me not eating what is offered to me offensive at all if I politely and respectfully decline? How is it rude to be full or simply not like the food? I am a picky eater in general….but I’m failing to connect the dots to where my declining (again respectfully and politely) somehow offends someone. Pretty sad/weird if the food is somehow tied to someones like identity or something. I mean if I decline your ribs or BBQ or pork or something I am not rejecting you as a human being. Very strange and odd. A host is not entitled to me putting things in my body if I don’t want them.
 
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#67
I’ve always declined food at functions. As a younger player that got started playing functions early, the bandleaders made it known that they thought it was a bad look. None of the other service people at a fancy function are seen eating by the guests, and there’s a school of thought that suggests that the band is service staff too.

Taking into account the possibility that some people might be put off by a refusal of food they served (or made) for the event, our usual strategy was to wait until it was clear that all the guests were served. Then, we’d go up, grab a very modest amount, disappear, and maybe even eat it. Then we’d profusely thank the person who offered us the food, and compliment some aspect of it, even if we didn’t like it, or even eat it.

The groups I played in got considerable repeat business from families and banquet halls because we got the job done in a professional and polite way. People notice this stuff because a lot of bands don’t know how to act - and they notice that too.
 
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#68
Just a rant, but I hate being called "hired help " I mean, I get it, you're hired to perform a role, and maybe this is a little diva-ish, but there's a huge difference between the role of a musician and a server (and I'm not knocking servers, etc. I've been there and I know the job is no thrill).

Hired help, to me, just sounds so impersonal, especially when a band is typically such a large part of the event.

Rant over.
 
#69
I see nothing wrong with eating at a private party or catered event you're playing, so long as it's at an appropriate time. Even back in the day, when you hired a DJ to play a wedding or graduation party, there was a stipulation in the contract that they be provided with a light meal. When a DJ played at my high school graduation party, he and his assistant were 100% free to partake in the buffet. While one ate, the other spun records, and vice versa. Or they'd grab plates, keep them at their station, and just peck at food throughout the night.

I'd be upset if the host of a catered event or house party did NOT allow the entertainment a meal.

Most of my gigs were never of the catered food variety, so I usually brought a packed lunch with me. Plus I'm a health-conscious vegetarian and don't want to take chances that any available food options wouldn't work for me.
 
#70
It's kind of important IME to work these things out beforehand - especially when they want you there for a long time. This is one of those things (along with electricity & shelter) that the BL and event planner need to be coordinating. (Have I been hung out to dry after redundant failures? Oh, yes...)
My small town scene is pretty laid back; the band almost never doesn't get offered food at some point.
If someone wants to do the full pee-on treatment that's fine by me as long as they're paying accordingly. (Would definitely be cheaper just to get the caterer to overcook a few extra chicken breasts.)
 
#71
I'll eat if it's offered. Polite/professional thing is to eat before the gig, back stage, but every one of these jobs is different. If it's buffet, I definitely wouldn't want employees jumping to the front of the line if it were my event. But I'd also make our clear in the contract what's offered and expected.
 
#72
I never plan on being fed. Most food that's likely to be served won't be on my personal menu anyway, so ... thanks, no, that's ok ... .
If there's any offense taken (a rare occurrence), I'll just chalk it up to health issues (for which there's a grain of trurh :)).
I usually bring a little snack bag for the car, carrots or apples or some such, just in case I get real hungry. And I eat beforehand. Standard protocol. :thumbsup:
 
#73
I never assume that the band will be fed, and I don't demand it. If offered, I usually prefer for the band to wait until everybody else is fed. Usually by that point they want some quiet time for conversation.

But it's not a huge deal. I can survive for 4 hours without food. I can bring a sandwich if necessary. Now, a cup of coffee might help, but that's usually easy.

Usually the bandleader works it out beforehand.

There's a story about one of the famous concert violinists. He was hired for a fancy party in New York City. When he arrived, the hostess told him: "You are not to mingle with the guests under any condition." He replied: "You should have told me sooner, as my fee would have been lower."
 
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#74
J Wilson said:
ONLY if asked or included in the arrangements or contract, and personally for me, I 'd prefer after, not during the gig (or a take-home meal), and segregated from the party.

You never just include yourself, barge into the line, party with the party, or drag in your wife, girlfriend, or non-band buddies or family.

Do you want to be professionals, or some garage band that thinks they're somebody . . . they aren't?
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I'm too keyed to eat when I'm playing out so I never do it during, or a few hours before I'm going to be up in front of people I don't know. Oddly enough, it is the only activity that effects me that way.
 
#75
When I was in an event band with 12 hour days in hotels spent with loadin, setup, waiting for the electrician, soundcheck and spending requisite 1-hour dark time before 1st guest arrival, we had a rider that stipulated all band members and support crew be fed the same food as guests in an unused hotel room or meeting room, which usually doubled as a dressing room, with ice water, chairs and table settings.
 
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#76
lildrgn said:
My son goes to CMU, freshman year. @bherman was kind enough to have me to his crib impromptu when I visited last summer simply because I saw GJ in his info and asked about some gear he had. :) Cool ass place, GJ.
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For me, one of the best parts was waking up every morning, looking out my window and seeing the Grand Mesa. What a truly beautiful sight!
 
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#78
moon-bass said:
Just a rant, but I hate being called "hired help " I mean, I get it, you're hired to perform a role, and maybe this is a little diva-ish, but there's a huge difference between the role of a musician and a server (and I'm not knocking servers, etc. I've been there and I know the job is no thrill).

Hired help, to me, just sounds so impersonal, especially when a band is typically such a large part of the event.

Rant over.
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Apparently you haven't played a "wallpaper" gig. I'm talking a quiet jazz band in the corner type of thing, purely there for the ambience. You really are treated as the help and feel like a part of the catering crew and follow a similar rule set. You are in no way a large part of the event and act as a slightly more expensive iPod.
 
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