Actually i admit im a horrible singer though i've been working on it alot. And my bass professor doesnt play piano and has perfect pitch hearing. I'd understand perfect pitch for the Bach Cello Suites, but all my solos are with piano, so shouldnt i play along with piano tempered tuning? it's like he wants me to play it in two different tuning systems but for what purpose? i play with the local symphony as well and i dont have trouble playing in tune there. So is this a perfect pitch vs relative pitch sort of thing? I bet if i understood what his overall concept was then i can move forward.
A good ear is a good ear - you'll figure out how to be in tune by yourself, with a piano, with an orchestra, etc., without having to think about it much, if at all.
The point about a class moving at the speed of the majority is a good one. I should add it's what's wonderful about going to a small school like Mannes.
When I was a Mannes student, someone once complained about one of our classes being too big when it had 8 students in it - I had classes with as few as 3 total students. While that's not private lessons, it's a whole lot closer than most people get, and it's one of the reasons why I still recommend Mannes so very highly to everyone - you won't fall through the cracks there without being noticed. That doesn't mean that everyone, regardless of how they came in, goes out an ear-training and theory wizard, but it does mean you'll get as good an education in these areas as you can possibly get in a college setting, IMHO.
A theory and ear-training program has many components, and it's necessary to acquire skills in all of them, IMHO, in order for your skill set to actually help you play better - one gaping hole can be what makes you play in poorly. Indeed, the saying goes that the chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
We could have a long thread about college/conservatory theory and ear-training programs - suffice it to say that you're best off really embracing what they're trying to teach you and trying to ace it all.
For playing in better intonation, the suggestion to sing is undoubtedly the best one. Join a choir somewhere, and get good enough that they want you in the small choir where you'll hear yourself and your mistakes better and therefore learn more.
At Mannes, we used the Dannhauser series of book - every week you had an assignment to learn a new song that you sang on the solfeggio names of the notes (i.e., fixed "do"), and in class you'd be singing at least part of that song by yourself while the teacher accompanied on the piano. I have done this with private students in the past but I think it works best in a classroom setting.
If you've got no other way to work on singing in tune, find yourself a friend who plays piano, and pick up this book of songs used by many (perhaps most) classical vocal teachers for their beginning students - forget the Italian words if you don't know Italian, and just solfege it.
http://www.amazon.com/24-Italian-Songs-Arias-Collection/dp/0793515130
We use this collection here _all_ the time - we all sing it (me, my wife, my son who's a rising sophomore at Mannes) and the vocal lines get performed on all kinds of instruments, not just sung. You could do worse than to do a harmonic analysis on some of the simpler tunes like "Caro, Mio Ben," too.
-S-