Reasons for cancelling Band Practice.

[fu22ba55]

You have everything you need in that post to write an original song...

I think this is basically the entire Ramones catalog.

 

[51PRI]

... If you miss the bridge in Mustang Sally at Stinky's Bar n Grill Friday night it'll be OK.....

There's a bridge in Mustang Sally?

 

[turf3]

If it's all the same with you, I'd greatly prefer to not suck. This month and next my stinky little bar band has 14 gigs. Do you know why? Because we freakin' work at it.

Of course, but let's also use some perspective here. The "THE SHOW MUST GO ON NO MATTER WHAT EVEN IF ALL YOUR CHILDREN JUST DIED IN A HOUSE FIRE AND YOU'RE BUSY BLEEDING OUT FROM A RUPTURED CAROTID, YOU MUST BE HERE!!!!!!!" attitude (OK, I'm exaggerating, but only a little) isn't realistic. The alternative isn't "yeah, whatever, no one knows their parts, we suck but we don't care." That's a false duality. The alternative is to use common sense, judgement, and (amazingly!) compassion to work around occasional minor emergencies, always keeping the option to eject someone when their occasional minor emergencies become a constant drag on the success of the band.

If my day job, where I make a six figure income and am responsible for multi-million dollar projects, allows for missing work due to relatively minor emergencies, it seems reasonable that a rock and roll band could do so.

 

[RichardW]

I'm a dog lover, grew up with them, and have had between 1 and 3 in my house for more than 20 years. My avatar speaks for itself.

I'd give you "my dog died today" as a reason to miss rehearsal. But yesterday or earlier? C'mon, man.

 

[Wesley R]

What are acceptable reasons for missing band practice? Is "my dog got killed" an acceptable reason? I guess it is. Just wanting your thoughts.

Yes it is, at least for any band I have been in.
If it was paying me $100k plus a year, then maybe not, but do not expect my A game.

 

[Mannyinnewyork]

If my dog died I would be devastated but I would probably do the practice if for no reason than having a distraction. She’s my best bud.

 

[gln1955]

There's a bridge in Mustang Sally?

You must have missed the practice when they went over that.

 

[Nashrakh]

Well, parenting a small kid is incredibly time consuming. (Unless you have a spouse that takes it all on--and usually even then.)

This isn't grade school, and nobody's required to bring in a doctor's note to miss rehearsal, all they need to say is "I can't make it, sorry." If it's a pattern, that may mean that their life or priorities aren't consistent with being a member of your band. But you deal with that by finding another musician or another band, not by getting in arguments with them about their own priorities--that's a losing game.

Of course parenting is stressful, and time consuming. And life gets in the way.

I am not arguing that.

However, with 100% of parents I know, I see a pattern emerge. Got a young kid? That's a "get out of situation x scot-free" card. Leaving social gatherings early, not making appointments, putting off tasks. Anything you can think of.

It is exactly the credibility of the pitfalls of parenthood that make any such excuse believable, and thus prone to "abuse". Because, who in their right minds would question it?

 

[Wilmingtonian]

Never had a dog?

 

[MultiScaleMale]

On this forum, it's likely that you're missing one of the umpteenth "practices" that are really just jam sessions and you may try a new song or two. Valid excuses? Just about anything including that you're not into it tonight or have a headache. The problem is when it's a pattern of missing practices.

 

[bigthemat]

I got kicked out of a band because I was in the emergency room and missed ONE rehearsal.

 

[Hot Rats]

If it's all the same with you, I'd greatly prefer to not suck. This month and next my stinky little bar band has 14 gigs. Do you know why? Because we freakin' work at it.

Dang, my crummy bar band only has 14 gigs in the next 4 months. Looks like I gotta call a band meeting.

As for the topic, I usually don't make judgements as to what's important for members and tend to give them the benefit of the doubt.

 

[lermgalieu]

Young parents are a thing to look out for. They can, and will, use their kids (usually infants) as an excuse for anything and everything, if convenient.

Yeah, taking care of an infant is just soooooo convenient. Maybe take a step back and re-read what you just typed.

 

[lermgalieu]

Of course parenting is stressful, and time consuming. And life gets in the way.

I am not arguing that.

However, with 100% of parents I know, I see a pattern emerge. Got a young kid? That's a "get out of situation x scot-free" card. Leaving social gatherings early, not making appointments, putting off tasks. Anything you can think of.

It is exactly the credibility of the pitfalls of parenthood that make any such excuse believable, and thus prone to "abuse". Because, who in their right minds would question it?

And you know all this because you are a parent, correct? Oh wait, of course you're not. Maybe people leave early because they ARE exhausted. Maybe they put off tasks because they're run ragged. How do I know? I AM A PARENT. Have you ever tried putting the entirety of your free time on "hold" for 6-8 years while you chase around a wild creature who knows nothing and will put anything in their mouth, take any risk? Didn't think so. Give the parents some slack, or, in your case, just don't join a band with them.

 

[Wesley R]

I've missed my day gig when my dog died everyone at work understood.

At some point most bar bands practice very little, mainly to add new songs, tighten up something that became a little loose last weekend, social time, etc.

If a band is going over the same songs we did last weekend, and are doing this weekend, my hopes would be we do them well, why would we do them at a a practice.

Please note I love going to practice.

Missing a practice is not the equivalent to missing a gig.

 

[fishstix]

I played for 17 years and thousands of shows with a group that rehearsed less than 5 times in that stretch. The thought was, know your part at the gig or be embarrassed. We gigged too often to rehearse. So, there's that end of things too.
My most recent group had a recent rehearsal cancelled due to multiple members coming down with the "c" word. I think that was pretty valid.

 

[dalkowski]

Is "my dog got killed" an acceptable reason?

This li'l gal joined the ancestors Easter night. Damn straight it's an acceptable reason.

 

[LBS-bass]

I have had massive problems with people cancelling rehearsals. I can't say that there's any "unacceptable" reason, but what people don't seem to think through is that several other people have set aside the time and, possibly, declined other events to be there that night. I don't think many people really take this commitment as seriously as they might.

That said, I would certainly be sympathetic to any death in the family, and a dog is family to me.

But constant rescheduling when you're in multiple bands means shuffling nights around for not just one band, but every band, which is not fair to anybody.

This is a huge part of why (with some exceptions) I will no longer give any band more than two rehearsals for any show. I am no longer tied to rehearsals four or five nights a week ad nauseum while trying to shuffle all of that around week after week because invariably one person in one band has a problem.

Even with this, I set aside three nights this week to rehearse for two shows coming up (two bands are playing at the same show) and of the three rehearsals only one is happening on the agreed-to night. One was moved to Friday (and I'm still betting at least one person doesn't make it), one was cancelled because a member never got the emailed invitation, and the one group I can almost always depend on will rehearse tonight (I hope).

This is all starting to get old for me and is contributing to yet another moment of clarity where I have begun to feel as though it's time to (mostly) get out of this racket again. Thinking I might drop one more band by the end of the year if things don't improve.

 

[BillyRay]

I had to have my rabbit of close to ten years put to sleep this year and I literally spent the whole week before and after with tears in my eyes. Even now I just can't think about her and how sweet she was to our family without my eyes getting wet. I still went to work since work distracted me from my pain, but I wouldn't have batted an eye if a coworker in a similar situation asked for a day off to regroup.

Pets can mean a lot to people : i.e. we got her because we couldn't have children (we finally did but after many years).

I've always been of the opinion that unless the band is your job, you don't need an excuse or a justification to miss a rehearsal : you don't need to take a sick day or a paid vacation for what is for 99% of the people on talkbass a hobby (albeit maybe a lucrative one for a forever shrinking portion of the posters on here). We're not children. The flip side of this is that if I don't need to explain or justify myself to miss a rehearsal, the rest of the band doesn't need to pussyfoot around to fire me if I don't show up repeatedly/act professional/don't suck. Way too much people get butthurt/bent of a shape for nothing.

 

[two fingers]

There's a bridge in Mustang Sally?

Yeah I was just being ridiculous anyway. My point was that if something isn't perfect at the gig, but you've shown your band mate some love and compassion, you did the right thing.