Reasons for cancelling Band Practice.

[two fingers]

Yes, but here on Talkbass there's a contingent of people who want to believe that their $100 a night bar band that plays out once a month rises to the same level as the Rolling Stones prepping for a 50 date world tour.

Truth bomb!

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

I hadn't had a dog in over 30 years. Cats are much easier to care for (and they're smarter than dogs), but a weird confluence of circumstances occurred a few years back which opened my eyes.

First off, I've been suffering with PTSD since 1999. I tried all the meds and counseling and, to be fair and brutally honest: my case isn't that dire. I'm hyper-vigilant and I have nightmares every day (some of which cause me to wake up, screaming).

About ten years ago, I started hearing things about dogs "helping" with PTSD. This tough guy poo-pooed the idea, but then "She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed"'s friends dog got herself in a bit of trouble.

Her dog was a show-quality Cocker Spaniel and the sire of the puppies was a mixed breed.

I didn't care until I found out the mother had stopped feeding one of the puppies at 3 weeks old. It made no sense. This female had eight nipples and only five puppies so, it wasn't like he was a typical "runt".

Anyway, her friend was at work, all day and I started going over and feeding the puppy.

After a couple of weeks, she told me I should just take him home. I didn't really want a dog, but because of what I'd heard, I decided to take him home.

Yes, he has been great for my PTSD. Not because of some miracle cure, but when I'm watching after him (making sure he doesn't jump on people or run out into the street), I don't have time to get too twisted up in my hyper-vigilance. I'm not worried about trip wires and snipers and ...

So, all of that said, I can't help but be a bit emotional about my dog. He's made my life better in so many ways, I owe him the respect of a little mourning, when his time comes.

 

[two fingers]

Well, parenting a small kid is incredibly time consuming. (Unless you have a spouse that takes it all on--and usually even then.)

This isn't grade school, and nobody's required to bring in a doctor's note to miss rehearsal, all they need to say is "I can't make it, sorry." If it's a pattern, that may mean that their life or priorities aren't consistent with being a member of your band. But you deal with that by finding another musician or another band, not by getting in arguments with them about their own priorities--that's a losing game.

All great points. Arguing over rehearsal is silly. If someone continuously misses rehearsal, you simply (and calmly) ask if they have time for this project at this time. If they don't find a replacement. Shake hands and walk away.

 

[two fingers]

If my day job, where I make a six figure income and am responsible for multi-million dollar projects, allows for missing work due to relatively minor emergencies, it seems reasonable that a rock and roll band could do so.

The whole post was gold. But this is particularly on point.

 

[_One//Man//Mutiny_]

“It’s all good, sorry for your loss”

 

[landrybass]

What are acceptable reasons for missing band practice? Is "my dog got killed" an acceptable reason? I guess it is. Just wanting your thoughts.

My dog is almost everything to me and I’d be devastated if she died suddenly. She’s been in 3 music videos so far! Lol

 

[sean_on_bass]

I don't want my bandmates forcing themselves to attend rehearsal when they are going through personal mental/physical issues. Few gigs i have played are THAT important. Live music is a luxury that people can survive without at the end of the day.

 

[Zoffy]

ER nurse here. I sometimes call out of band practice because I'm tired. Some shifts are exhausting and after working a 12 or 16 hour shift I am in no mood to do anything but fall on the couch and spend the day there. Fortunately, my bandmates are all in healthcare and can relate. It also helps that I practice our songs a lot and show up well-prepared. If someone were to find that an unacceptable reason for missing a practice then our "musical journey" would be very short indeed.

 

[Spidey2112]

He's made my life better in so many ways, I owe him the respect of a little mourning, when his time comes.

Priceless.

 

[LBS-bass]

I played for 17 years and thousands of shows with a group that rehearsed less than 5 times in that stretch. The thought was, know your part at the gig or be embarrassed. We gigged too often to rehearse. So, there's that end of things too.
My most recent group had a recent rehearsal cancelled due to multiple members coming down with the "c" word. I think that was pretty valid.

Bands that gig a lot don't need as much rehearsal because they're nailing stuff down on stages. I was in bands like this for a decade but none of the bands I'm in now play nearly enough to get tight without some sort of discipline. That might be frequent rehearsals or it might be a bandleader who insists on spelling out in detail what you're going to practice at home with the understanding that if you don't come in prepared and knowing your arrangements, you're not around for very long.

I prefer the latter approach because it allows everyone as much flexibility with their free time as possible, but it's rare.

 

[Bunk McNulty]

Of course, but let's also use some perspective here. The "THE SHOW MUST GO ON NO MATTER WHAT EVEN IF ALL YOUR CHILDREN JUST DIED IN A HOUSE FIRE AND YOU'RE BUSY BLEEDING OUT FROM A RUPTURED CAROTID, YOU MUST BE HERE!!!!!!!" attitude (OK, I'm exaggerating, but only a little) isn't realistic. The alternative isn't "yeah, whatever, no one knows their parts, we suck but we don't care." That's a false duality. The alternative is to use common sense, judgement, and (amazingly!) compassion to work around occasional minor emergencies, always keeping the option to eject someone when their occasional minor emergencies become a constant drag on the success of the band.

If my day job, where I make a six figure income and am responsible for multi-million dollar projects, allows for missing work due to relatively minor emergencies, it seems reasonable that a rock and roll band could do so.

No argument here!

 

[Shepsdad]

The day our German shepherd died there’s no way I would/could have attended a rehearsal, or even a gig. I cried for days afterwards, still do occasionally when I think about him, and it’s been almost two years.

 

[LBS-bass]

Of course, but let's also use some perspective here. The "THE SHOW MUST GO ON NO MATTER WHAT EVEN IF ALL YOUR CHILDREN JUST DIED IN A HOUSE FIRE AND YOU'RE BUSY BLEEDING OUT FROM A RUPTURED CAROTID, YOU MUST BE HERE!!!!!!!" attitude (OK, I'm exaggerating, but only a little) isn't realistic. The alternative isn't "yeah, whatever, no one knows their parts, we suck but we don't care." That's a false duality. The alternative is to use common sense, judgement, and (amazingly!) compassion to work around occasional minor emergencies, always keeping the option to eject someone when their occasional minor emergencies become a constant drag on the success of the band.

If my day job, where I make a six figure income and am responsible for multi-million dollar projects, allows for missing work due to relatively minor emergencies, it seems reasonable that a rock and roll band could do so.

I don't think many people argue to this extreme, but I would point out that it's often portrayed this way when someone makes the point that Bunk made.

A reasonable commitment to excellence requires work and, yes, a commitment. This doesn't mean that you can't attend to the important things in life but depending on where you are in life (I'm thinking about all of you with little kids that have last minute scheduling needs) you might have to accept that being in a highly polished band isn't realistic for you.

There are exceptions. If you've all got the material down cold because you've played it for years. If you're all practicing at home and coming in knowing the stuff really well. But most folks will accept a more leisurely approach that limits how much time is spent really putting the polish on, and that's perfectly fine, too.

 

[King Harvest]

Yes, it is a valid reason, IMO.

 

[buldog5151bass]

It depends on a lot. If someone cancels once a year, I give them some slack. Once a month, I question the veracity of anything they say.

 

[truand85]

Depends on context. If you're a dad band playing for fun, then most reasons are acceptable probably.

If you're a working professional and band members are reliant on you being there to pay their bills, then there is more responsibility to it.

 

[39-Bassist]

You know in reality, the problem I find is that some guys have an excuse for everything. So after the 2nd or 3rd excuses, I start to not believe them.
That being said, as a rule (and I know some won't like it but), If there isn't a major family issue then show up...(if you are really wanting to practice then you will find a way)
Too many years of the excuses that I have had to deal with.
But that is just me.

 

[InhumanResource]

Young parents are a thing to look out for. They can, and will, use their kids (usually infants) as an excuse for anything and everything, if convenient.

Yes, I hate it when young parents need to cancel activities in order to take care of their babies.

 

[bassburner]

Death of a pet - yes.

I have to help my father-in-law setup his voicemail - no. Seriously got this one once 15 minutes before practice

 

[AceOfBassFace]

No issues if it's once in a while. I have kids and job that I occasionally need to work nights if some emergency comes up, and I'm not jeopardizing either of those for band practice for a $100 gig at the local pub.

A guitar player in an old band cancelled 2 gigs during the couple of years we were together. Once the day of the gig because it was snowing (we live in Canada) and he 'didn't feel safe driving'. That pissed me off. The other time his girlfriend's father found out he had cancer - wasn't sure how to feel about that one. If it was me I wouldn't have cancelled, but we gave him that one.