Rude to not take drinks?

[ELG60]

I remember seeing the Dixie Dregs many years ago, and part way through the show Andy West came up to the mic between songs to say that although they appreciated the thoughts of all the people who were buying them drinks, "you can't play this **** drunk." (If you've ever listened to the Dixie Dregs, you understand.) He then joked that if anyone had some cocaine....

I used to watch them on the patio at the UofM Rathskeller...the kids were too broke or self-absorbed to buy them drinks there. There was plenty of the other stuff iirc.

 

[Nephilymbass]

This is a spinoff from another thread which the OP implied that it was rude for the band to turn down drinks from the bar. Here is the breakdown of my band. 4 piece band:

Me - Sober. As in recovering alcoholic/addict. I have no business putting chemicals of any kind in my body.

Rhythm Guitarist - Drinks sometimes but not on the gig while we are working. He feels that he wouldn't drink on another job so he shouldn't drink on this one.

Lead Guitarist - Sober but not due to substance abuse issues, just doesn't drink for personal reasons and if he did, says he wouldn't drink on the job anyway.

Vocalist - Drinks too much. Constantly on the gig and has a steady stream going his way from bar owner and patrons because none of the rest of us drink so he gets all of our drinks too.

My question is is it really rude for us to decline drinks when we are all sober and should we discourage the drinks from even being given to the singer? I admit that several times people look offended when I decline their drink offers, even after I explain that I am a recovering alcoholic (in a bar no less). But I don't want all the excess drinks going to the singer for obvious reasons. How would or do you handle these situations?

Addiction is tough. We had a previous member several years back who was a bad alcoholic, and I had my own stuggles with alcohol after some rough family situations (baby brother got life in prison, dad died, two miscarriages) we tried to do a two drink limit at least until after we were done playing. But in all honesty that didn’t really work for the former member of the band. He would be sneaking around having his girlfriends trying to hide his drinks so we wouldn’t see them and he was constantly busted. Then we tried having a rule to not drink at all but then he would just show up already buzzed and or go out to the parking lot while we were all inside to drink in his car. He’s one of the most extreme cases of alcoholics I’ve seen and it eventually destroyed his relationship with many of his longtime friends and even his own family. I thought I was an alcoholic at one point. I still drink once or twice a month but nothing like I did when I was going through the stuff I mentioned and I never get trashed anymore.

As far as how to handle drinks from the crowd it’s actually fairly simple. You just gotta get him to set the first drink down. When the fans see that he didn’t drink the first one they will be less likely to buy him another, and if they do buy another, he can put it down right next to the other and make a comment on the mic about saving it for later. The singer is making a spectacle of it which is encouraging it to happen more often.

 

[Old Garage-Bander]

I think you have to keep in mind that you are employees of an establishment that makes money by selling drinks. So, saying “I don’t drink” could seem a bit hipocrical. Said another way, you are being party poopers in a place that’s there for people to party. So, I’m not saying you should drink if it’s not your thing, but, also be aware that that can seem rude to people who are buzzed and are buying you drinks as a show of appreciation.

So bands that have members who don’t drink shouldn’t take bar gigs?

Would it be rude to people who are buzzed if you let them buy you a Coke without the rum?

 

[tshapiro]

Dude, I'm not in control of how other people think, and, I am not publishing an edicate book.

 

[bassstrangler]

Dude, I'm not in control of how other people think, and, I am not publishing an edicate book.

Maybe not publishing an etiquette book, but your logic is definitely questionable from that original post.

 

[tshapiro]

Maybe not publishing an etiquette book, but your logic is definitely questionable from that original post.

I'm fairly certain you've missed my point

 

[bassstrangler]

I think you have to keep in mind that you are employees of an establishment that makes money by selling drinks. So, saying “I don’t drink” could seem a bit hipocrical. Said another way, you are being party poopers in a place that’s there for people to party. So, I’m not saying you should drink if it’s not your thing, but, also be aware that that can seem rude to people who are buzzed and are buying you drinks as a show of appreciation.

I'm fairly certain you've missed my point

I think you would have to have a point for me to miss.

Being a party pooper for refusing a drink because you are an employee of the establishment serving said alcoholic beverages is completely an off base statement. I have worked at said establishments as a bartender and have refused many drinks because it was not allowed to drink on the job. I have also worked at establishments where drinking on the job was overlooked and/or not frowned upon.

One thing to keep in mind is as an employee drinking on the job presents several liabilities for the employers of these establishments. I'm sure a drunk bartender slicing lemons and limes cuts themselves may present a problem if a workmen's compensation claim is filed. Also, drunk employees tend to act like drunks and make mistakes such as over pouring alcohol in drinks, making mistakes on the cash registers, possibly offending customers, etc.

Now if in fact a band is technically an employee of the establishment, members of the band should refrain from drinking as well. Is it appropriate to pay a band to perform drunk, and possibly have members of the band succumb to the behaviour some drunks display?

I honestly do not feel it is hypocritical (I think that's the word you intended not hipocrical) to refuse a drink as an employee of a business that serves alcohol and provides a place for people to party. I think your logic behind this thinking is wrong. I find your whole original post almost comical. It's a shame that we live in a world where offending people is something we have to worry about constantly. Especially when it comes to something as trivial as alcoholic beverages. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just be able to politely say "no thank you" and that ends the conversation? But no we have to worry about offending everyone these days.

 

[tshapiro]

I think you would have to have a point for me to miss.

Being a party pooper for refusing a drink because you are an employee of the establishment serving said alcoholic beverages is completely an off base statement. I have worked at said establishments as a bartender and have refused many drinks because it was not allowed to drink on the job. I have also worked at establishments where drinking on the job was overlooked and/or not frowned upon.

One thing to keep in mind is as an employee drinking on the job presents several liabilities for the employers of these establishments. I'm sure a drunk bartender slicing lemons and limes cuts themselves may present a problem if a workmen's compensation claim is filed. Also, drunk employees tend to act like drunks and make mistakes such as over pouring alcohol in drinks, making mistakes on the cash registers, possibly offending customers, etc.

Now if in fact a band is technically an employee of the establishment, members of the band should refrain from drinking as well. Is it appropriate to pay a band to perform drunk, and possibly have members of the band succumb to the behaviour some drunks display?

I honestly do not feel it is hypocritical (I think that's the word you intended not hipocrical) to refuse a drink as an employee of a business that serves alcohol and provides a place for people to party. I think your logic behind this thinking is wrong. I find your whole original post almost comical. It's a shame that we live in a world where offending people is something we have to worry about constantly. Especially when it comes to something as trivial as alcoholic beverages. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just be able to politely say "no thank you" and that ends the conversation? But no we have to worry about offending everyone these days.

I don't make the rules bud, just stating what perceive as being rude in that situation. Could you please get to the point on your next response sooner?

 

[bassstrangler]

I don't make the rules bud, just stating what perceive as being rude in that situation. Could you please get to the point on your next response sooner?

I think I stated way earlier in this thread that if people find it rude to refuse a drink then they can kiss off.

You may not make the rules, because there are none. If we live in a world where refusing alcohol is rude, then I could care less, and I'll be the rude guy in every situation.

Was that quick enough for you sir? Sorry to make you read.

 

[Deleted member 268085]

A year ago, I'd have answered this question differently. A year ago, I could still drink. Over a 6-8 week period last summer, I completely lost the ability to metabolize alcohol. My last drink was a pint of Boddingtons Ale. It gave me a 24-hour headache so bad I couldn't get off the couch the next day. Neither over- nor under-the-counter pain relievers were helpful. At least I made it to 65. Happened to my father when he was around 50.

We're lucky here in Flag. A couple of the bars are now carrying draft soda. The root beer at the State Bar is excellent! There's even a new boutique soda maker in Durango, CO, who are now working on volumes so they can keg it. One microbrewery here already added an 8-tap soda position in their grill room in anticipation!

 

[mcnach]

What are your guys thoughts on drinking on stage in general? Generally folks i play with are not doing much drinking, but being a huge craft beer fan i love to have a drink or two while playing. Sometimes i feel guilty when the others aren't, but honestly they are sometimes so nervous i think a drink could benefit them. I grew up watching my heroes drink a beer on big stages, but it obviously brings up questions about professionalism.

I will say that one drink can sometimes make me play better or get into it more(less nerves), but beyond the one or two my playing generally goes down hill. Obviously some gigs require a level of class where drinking on stage would not be acceptable.

I have no problem with drinking on stage... but there are manners and manners.

I don't like to see an array of drinks lined up in front of each player. Besides the way it looks... there's the danger that a drink or five will get knocked over... and THAT is something that I have a big issue with. Drink if you like, in moderation of course, don't let it compromise your ability, but do not let it spill over the stage, cables, and possibly equipment... that annoys the hell out of me. I don't allow drinks near 'my space' for that reason. You want a drink? Great, keep it safe and by your stuff, so that if you kick it it does not affect me, or we'll have problems.

There are gigs and there are gigs. Bar gig, or festival... sure. Wedding? Probably not.

 

[mcnach]

I don't make the rules bud, just stating what perceive as being rude in that situation. Could you please get to the point on your next response sooner?

what YOU perceive as rude

 

[Ostie]

If someone offers to buy you a drink, tell them that if they really like the band, put the money in your tip jar. If that offends them, TS.