hbarcat - the cop I mentioned is a near certified sailer, getting ready to retire and sail to Hawaii (and perhaps live there). Freshly divorced and embracing life. He was one mean looking dude, till he took off his shades. then he looked like a really kind dude.

anyway, it was his 1st time on a 42-footer. previous experience (thus far) on 27 and 33 footers. he observed similar things to you regarding the intimacy of smaller vessels. but he was big on the bigger stuff (given his ambitions). he said the dif between 27 and 33 footers was radically more significant than the handling difs between 33 and 42 footers.
your paddling ordeal is quite a story. "do you need rescue?" (when you've already rescued yourself). bet you were sore for days afterward, too.
by coincidence, I met the owner/CEO of a company that's basically a tow truck company for yachts. it's a good business model. saw a large vessel getting towed back to Alameda by one of these boats, though I can't recall the name.
two other crew members I sailed with (yesterday) had recently seen problems. (1) one guy was on a cattle fishing boat with about 30 people. an elderly gentleman fell twice, hit his head twice, and died on way to hospital (chopper flight). and (2) the captain on my Sunday excursion had an engine starter that would not turn over the engine. we basically had to hot wire the engine, with a cop on board, to get home. Previous issues just this season, that I've seen? (3) a simple jibing maneuver tore the boomtang completely off the mast, and we had to engine home. and (4) the jib clew (rear bottom ring) tore off a very large jib sail, and we had to sail home under main only. problems have been the norm - not the exception, so far, on the bigger vessels. (ugh)
Blake - that's an amazing story. thanks. hope to hear you play, and talk long over beers some day.