... and guitar and bass amps blaring, ....
i think you've identified the root of the problem

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... and guitar and bass amps blaring, ....

Points taken... I guess if the drummer uses some hotrods and we can talk about just bringing the overall level of the band down, that's the place to start.
I don't wish to sound overly blunt or critical, but from what I've read so far, it sounds as though y'all are playing more than you're listening. If you don't pay attention to the sound of the band as a whole, with special emphasis on balance and dynamics, the notes you play will be irrelevant.
If current members are unwilling or unable to interact musically, you may have to replace them with grown-ups.![]()
The problem is made even worse when EQ is determined player-by-player, without regard for the overall sound; when this happens, band members inevitably, and erroneously, try to solve band-wide EQ and balance problems by turning up their individual volume. Before you know it, the stage or rehearsal room is painfully loud, and people are still straining to hear. Use PA with the same mindset and you'll get the same awful sound, only louder.
If this sounds familiar, you've been in a band with inexperienced players who may have been shredding at home for years, but are completely unfamiliar with sound reinforcement principles, and the interpersonal dynamics and expectations of a pro-quality band. These same players usually haven't figured out the difference between making themselves sound good at home, and making an entire band sound good in public. It can be a fairly steep learning curve for folks who approach the process subjectively.
Pros do things because they work. You can learn a lot if you ask why the pros do what they do, and why it works for them. Not just the musicians - everyone involved in creating good sound. Do basic resarch and talk about specific goals and strategies as a band. One issue at a time. Focus on specific objectives. Keep things simple. Rehearse sound, not just music. Record rehearsals and listen to the playback as a group. Use a SPL meter to figure out just how loud you really are - a servicable model isn't expensive.
It's amazing how quietly individual musicians can play, and how well they can hear each other, when they pay attention to the big picture and make collaborative decisions, which is usually the opposite of what beginning drummers and guitar players would do if left to their own devices.
IMHO, YMMV, et al - my two cents...
If current members are unwilling or unable to interact musically, you may have to replace them with grown-ups.![]()
+1 to the prevailing opinions here: you have to be able to turn down for practice. It's just good practice for musicianship to play to the room that you're in. I always prefer to let the acoustic instruments set the volume - horns and drums - and adjust from there. This applies to stage sound with PA and monitors too.
If the drummer is the player that sets the 'noise floor' (hyuck hyuck) - my $0.02 is that the best drummers that I play with have a huge dynamic range, and can keep a really active, energetic texture going while playing quiet if necessary. With sticks, not hot rods (worst of both worlds IMHO). I've also been drumming for about 20 years, though I very rarely gig on drums anymore: started out as a punk rock basher, but by now I can hack a jazz jam. My experience is that you don't learn to play quiet unless you practice quiet.