Well thanks. I think beyond that, for any arbitrary chord X there is a scale Y that *defines* the notes in the chord. For example, a chord like Cadd6, or C9, the "6" and the "9" specifically refer to the C major scale: one is the 6th degree, while the 9 is the 2nd degree but an octave higher. So chords are defined by the scales they are based on. It's right in the very names of the chords themselves.
You make some good points, but I'm still not sure how to apply the concept to actual music. Let's say for example you are in the key of C Major, and the composer indicates a Bb Major chord for one measure. Are you saying that the Bb Major chord "defines" the song as having left the key of C? And if it has temporarily left the key of C for one measure, which key has it modulated to? The keys of Bb, Eb, and F all contain Bb Major chords.
Personally I find it easier to think that the song is still in C Major, and play the chord tones Bb, D, F.