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Scared Bassist?

G

GusTheBassDog

Dec 18, 2012
9
0
Pittsburgh, PA
#1
So I've been playing bass for almost a year, have been taking lessons from a very good instructor for about 7 months...and I can't play with another musician. I can play to a metronome and keep time, or play along to an MP3, or whatever, but another live person in the mix and I freeze up.

My gf can play some simple guitar chords but if she plays while I'm playing I drop notes and crash bad. My instructor tries to count time in lessons and I come apart. Both feel I have a fair amount of basic playing skill, and I would really love to join a band, but I currently feel like I would fail at it and just freeze. I have this mentality like why would an actual band want someone who has never been in a band? Then when I lock up, that would seal the deal, so to speak. What to do?
 
#2
Playing with others, to me, has alot to do with confidence. Unfortunately the only way to do it is just to play with others and gain that confidence. It will be humbling at first even downright discouraging. If you pay attention and focus on what you know you can do and not so much what the other players are doing it becomes easier. Over time youll be able to listen to everything equally and react. Remember your a bass player...you shouldnt think of it as following the guitar player, your the backbone, they follow you. I remember when i started playing in bands 26 years ago, i started playing with a pick. I would squeeze that pick so tight my fingers would turn white. So staying relaxed and breathing help (i used to hold my breath too). Focus on your lines. Hope some of this helps.
 
#3
This is going to be off color but....
Anybody who you don't mind dropping your pants for you should have no problem playing for.

That being said its easiest to play along with people you get along with. Think of it more as a game and less of a performance.(good advice for lovers too ;) )
Music is about bringing joy to yourself and others, so don't get overly critical of yourself.
The first time you jam with another person(or persons) and y'all get lost in the moment this problem disappears entirely. It becomes an addiction and all you do from there is try to get to that moment again.
Do whatever it takes to get to your first moment and you'll be just fine.
Jam with as many people as possible as soon as possible. Music(like your love life) is better with others.
 
#4
You aren't going to jump right into a great band. There are plenty of bands for people like you who are still figuring most things out. If you want to play with others I'd suggest getting your girlfriend to help you a bit more and then make a Craigslist ad saying you have never played in a band and are looking for other beginners to jam with
 
#5
Playing bass with music in the background could get you to relax. Maybe your gf could join you with guitar?
Stage fright is very stressing for some people - I used to get nausea when I started playing in clubs/bars... good thing is it gets easier as you get more confident and relaxed.
 
#6
Stop caring what others think. Its a distraction and nothing more.


In fact im going to be brutal. No one cares if you suck but you, and no one cares that you care. Just play. Focus on the job at hand and relax, and stop distracting yourself.
 
#7
Violen said:
Stop caring what others think. Its a distraction and nothing more.


In fact im going to be brutal. No one cares if you suck but you, and no one cares that you care. Just play. Focus on the job at hand and relax, and stop distracting yourself.
Click to expand...

+1

I think I'm terrible, but people seem to keep wanting to play with me... You're your own worst critic and usually your only critic.

You just gotta let go of your fears and let the music flow. Every time I screw up its because I'm stressing too much about making a part perfect.

And jamming with your girl should be pretty easy. I was/am in a band with my ex and we never had problems playing in front of each other. But I was playing guitar while she played bass.
 
#9
GusTheBassDog said:
So I've been playing bass for almost a year, have been taking lessons from a very good instructor for about 7 months...and I can't play with another musician. I can play to a metronome and keep time, or play along to an MP3, or whatever, but another live person in the mix and I freeze up.

My gf can play some simple guitar chords but if she plays while I'm playing I drop notes and crash bad. My instructor tries to count time in lessons and I come apart. Both feel I have a fair amount of basic playing skill, and I would really love to join a band, but I currently feel like I would fail at it and just freeze. I have this mentality like why would an actual band want someone who has never been in a band? Then when I lock up, that would seal the deal, so to speak. What to do?
Click to expand...

My advice to you is to learn to embrace failure because it is only though failure and the lessons learned from it that you will achieve success. Your situation is not unique; we all go through it to some extent. Everyone who is good at anything got there by at first being bad at it.

The reason you freeze up is that you haven't done it enough to start to feel comfortable, but if you let the fear of freezing up make you avoid the situations where you might freeze up, you'll never get past it.

Look at it this way: there is a certain amount of being a crappy bass player that you have to get past before you can get good, so get out there and get it over with.
 
#10
At some point, I hope you are able to come to the understanding that it is a simple question of concentration. You will be able to play with others if your concentration on your own part is focussed enough to take in everything else you are hearing, but still focus on the timing and tone of what you yourself are playing.
 
#11
Are you trying to follow the other players? If so, quit doing that. You've got to anticipate. If you're trying to follow somebody else, you're always going to be at least a hair behind. You need to have a good dose of self-confidence. Know that you're playing it right & don't try to follow anybody.

Have you ever seen a good marching unit? Everybody steps off at once. In a bad marching unit, everybody marches in place until the guy in front of them steps off, then they follow. A good marching unit looks crisp & sharp because everybody has the confidence to all step together. A bad marching unit looks like crap because they have so little self-confidence that they have to wait to see what another guy does before they'll move. It's the same in a band.
 
#12
Find an open jam and attend at every opportunity.

It will help you get used to playing with others and also break you of any fear of playing in public.

It can also be a good place to find other players with similar interests.
 
#15
JohnMCA72 said:
Are you trying to follow the other players? If so, quit doing that. You've got to anticipate. If you're trying to follow somebody else, you're always going to be at least a hair behind. You need to have a good dose of self-confidence. Know that you're playing it right & don't try to follow anybody.

Have you ever seen a good marching unit? Everybody steps off at once. In a bad marching unit, everybody marches in place until the guy in front of them steps off, then they follow. A good marching unit looks crisp & sharp because everybody has the confidence to all step together. A bad marching unit looks like crap because they have so little self-confidence that they have to wait to see what another guy does before they'll move. It's the same in a band.
Click to expand...

outstanding

a little further still...

a certain amount of ego you must have to be a competent musician; you go out there and sell it. if you go out with confidence and convince the audience that you know what you are doing with a smile, 99% of the time they will believe you.
if you lead, most people will follow.
go out and play with confidence and lay it down like you own it- even if you have to fake it for awhile. eventually, you won't be faking it.
that goes a long ways to making a name for yourself.
and of course, do your homework first...
 
#16
+1 on confidence being important, though confidence does partly have to come from actually being able to do it!

Does your right hand technique allow you to keep a solid groove going for different types of rhythms? Even if you drop notes, you just have to keep the groove going.
 
#17
I've been playing just 6 or 7 months myself and am not in a band. Spend some practice time playing along with CDs or mp3s. Find local open jams and make yourself go to them. It's ok to screw up at the jams. After about three of four times, the nervousness should begin to subside. Most (but not all) of the folks jamming will tend to be helpful and supportive. When playing with live musicians, fall back to root notes when and if you get in trouble. I got a piece of valuable advice just last week from a great local keyboard player I was jamming with. He said "I don't care what note you play. Just give it to me on time."
 
#18
at my first rehearsal with a band - and i'm stretching that term here since it was three guys that just started lessons a couple weeks back and they wanted to become a band -
i was using a pick, too. after maybe half an hour, the drummer noticed that i was bleeding on his carpet - my index finger was scraping against the stings as i was hitting them with the pick and i had dug in quite far already without feeling anything. so much for keeping your calm when beginning.

don't try too hard and start slowly. have your GF play a few simple chords and just play the roots. something so easy it'll bore you fast.
 

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