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Slither is an excellent example of a song that wants to take off when you play it
I've played with drummers that used metronome apps on their phones with an earbud. They punch in the correct tempo then count off the tune.
All songs, all the time with backup singers and dancers without ANY PROBLEMS playing to a click.
I've played some gigs in a ballroom dance band. Those dancers are really strict about tempos. The drummer had a metronome, and a tempo for each song written down. She counted off the tunes. Purists might scoff at the idea, but it worked.
All I said to him was "make sure to watch the tempo for this song, it speeds up easily."What happened to developing musicianship?.
I've played some gigs in a ballroom dance band. Those dancers are really strict about tempos. The drummer had a metronome, and a tempo for each song written down. She counted off the tunes. Purists might scoff at the idea, but it worked.
I've also talked to my kids about setting tempos, and I tell them to sing the "interesting" part of the tune in their head, to get a feel for the tempo. For a rock band, that might be something like a vocal chorus.
What happened to developing musicianship? If your drummer refuses to develop his internal clock find another drummer. I understand he is your friend and going your separate musical ways could actually save the friendship. You don't want to end up resenting him to the point where you can't stand the sight of him. No metronome training is going to help the band. A metronome can feed you the tempo but it can't tell you if the tune is swingin' ,funk ,rock or whatever groove it may be.