Should I feel guilty auditioning for a second band?

[Bullitt5135]

No need to feel guilty. Go for it. If band #2 takes off, being upfront with band #1 would be the cool thing to do, IMO. I'm in the same boat as you right now. Band #1 is fizzling after five years, so I'm starting a new project. If it goes anywhere, I'll break it to band #1. I don't feel guilty about it since my drummer and singer also play in another band -- and they never once asked for my blessing.

One more thing, I hate it when there's somebody in the band constantly comparing us his OTHER band..."my other band pays that tune in drop-D...my other band stretches out that solo...my other band plays that song slower like a ballad." I really don't care about your other band...because I'm not in it.

 

[gjbassist]

Okay, I have decided not to feel guilty at all about the situation! No reason to worry about it or even tell the members of my current band until I hopefully get in to the second band. Having a mediocre practice today with band number one helped ease my guilt greatly. Guitarist didn't work on either of the two new songs we were supposed to start on this week, and like I said in my OP the singer bailed on practice all together. We still got some things accomplished but it wasn't the best rehearsal. I'm just gonna have fun with band number one and go with the flow. Hopefully if I get in to band number two they will have more ambition to get out and start playing sooner.

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

I am currently in one band and like it. Everyone in the band is nice and easy to get along with. We have been together since March. I do have a few frustrations though.
My main issue the singer has missed several practices. She is the guitar players wife and is an excellent vocalist. However, she doesn't have a background in rock music and is not familiar with a lot of the songs we do. So it is important for her to be there to get the vocals down. We have practiced without her on several occasions to work out music issues but it's not the same without having the vocals. I can understand things like family commitments and such getting in the way but she knows that we always try to practice around the same time and day of the week.
Because of this we still do not have enough material ready to play a full show. We have only done one gig, which was a only two sets so we had no trouble pulling that off. I am to the point were I'm ready to get out of the basement and start playing! I should also mention that the goal of this band is to only play once or twice a month.

So I found another band who is looking for a bass player. I talked to the drummer and it sounds like a great opportunity. They have a female singer/keyboard player, drummer, guitarist and a dedicated sound guy! They are doing a nice variety of material, and sound like they would be a good fit. I am supposed to meet with them next Saturday afternoon. I guess I'm feeling a bit guilty though, like I'm cheating on my first band. Like I said I really like the people and the music we are doing, I just want to play more often and get out and get going sooner! We have rehearsal tomorrow and I don't know if I should tell them I have an audition with the other band or wait and see what happens after next Saturday. I don't have a problem being in two bands if they are alright with it.

If you think be changing bands, you can escape the drama, you are mistaken. I have never, ever, been in a band with zero drama in 51 years of gigging. I mean, you are dealing with musicians, you know.
The drama you describe here is only mildly annoying. You don't have a lead singer getting drunk during the gigs causing the cancelation of 2 months of 6 night a week gigs. And you don't have the singer and the drummer get into a fist fight during a gig. Those were both real events in my life.

 

[Groove Doctor]

Okay, I have decided not to feel guilty at all about the situation! No reason to worry about it or even tell the members of my current band until I hopefully get in to the second band. Having a mediocre practice today with band number one helped ease my guilt greatly. Guitarist didn't work on either of the two new songs we were supposed to start on this week, and like I said in my OP the singer bailed on practice all together. We still got some things accomplished but it wasn't the best rehearsal. I'm just gonna have fun with band number one and go with the flow. Hopefully if I get in to band number two they will have more ambition to get out and start playing sooner.

Great news. Hope you land the gig.

Playing with a new set of musos really opens your eyes to the weaknesses of the first band. Keep growing as a musician and as a person, and opportunities will follow you.

 

[gjbassist]

If you think be changing bands, you can escape the drama, you are mistaken. I have never, ever, been in a band with zero drama in 51 years of gigging. I mean, you are dealing with musicians, you know.
The drama you describe here is only mildly annoying. You don't have a lead singer getting drunk during the gigs causing the cancelation of 2 months of 6 night a week gigs. And you don't have the singer and the drummer get into a fist fight during a gig. Those were both real events in my life.

I have been playing in bands for over 20 years, so I'm aware there is drama in every band situation. I am sure there will be some in this other band as well. I know they already experienced some because two of the members left after disagreements over song selections, that's why they are looking for a bass player!
I have been lucky that I have never been involved with a band who's issues lead to actual fist fights.
The issue with the current band is the overall casual attitude by all the other members, which I was aware of to some extend when we started. I just want to play more than they do so I'm going to find other ways to do it!

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

I have been playing in bands for over 20 years, so I'm aware there is drama in every band situation. I am sure there will be some in this other band as well. I know they already experienced some because two of the members left after disagreements over song selections, that's why they are looking for a bass player!
I have been lucky that I have never been involved with a band who's issues lead to actual fist fights.
The issue with the current band is the overall casual attitude by all the other members, which I was aware of to some extend when we started. I just want to play more than they do so I'm going to find other ways to do it!

I completely understand. I'm sort of in the same situation. The band is good, but no incentive to look for more gigs and an irregular practice schedule. Excuses like Can't make it this week, have to go move my hog traps and deer feeders.
You comment about "my first band" led me to believe you were younger and less experienced. Pardon the misunderstanding.

 

[hrodbert696]

I really cannot see why folks are saying not to tell your band mates? Why wouldn't you want to be upfront and honest. Wouldn't all of you people expect that from your band (he said they are all friends).

I don't think he should conceal it or lie about it. I just don't think there's any major need to announce it or make a big deal of it. If it comes up naturally in the course of conversation, sure, tell them about it. But to announce out of the blue, "I want you all to know that I have started auditioning for other bands," just seems like it invites drama.