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Should I stay or should I go?

D

Diogenes

Dec 8, 2008
2,472
34
Germantown, Louisville KY USA
www.jz63.com
#1
I'll just get right to the point. I've been in a rock trio for about 4 years now (all originals) and consider myself lucky to have found this guitarist/vocalist and drummer because they are extremely good musicians, on a higher level than I am, and they are easy to get along with... no egos or drama. The problem is that I'm just not having fun any more. Rehearsals have become drudgery and I don't even look forward to doing gigs. And to boot, before and during the time I've been with this band I've also checked out other opportunities (my bandmates have also been involved in other projects as well) but the sad thing is that there aren't many prospects here in my area that get me very excited. The few bands that have piqued my interest are made of 20-somethings who have pretty much made it clear that they don't think a 49 year old would be such a great fit.

So it looks like I'm screwed on the gigging situation no matter what. I guess I should be content with the fact that I'll more time to practice on theory and techniques/chops in the genres that interest me.

Any opinions of what you would do if faced with the same situation?
 
#2
Hmm... If I were in your situation I think I would try and stick with my current trio (as I am also a part of the same setup you described). Except if it's just not piquing your interest anymore I would try and recommend to my band experimenting around just for the heck of it. I mean if they are easy to get along with and talented musicians (which is a hard-to-find combination nowadays I might add) then I'd bet they would be willing to try something different and new.
 
#3
I'm 58 so I hear you, my age has somewhat limited my opportunities.

I also love gigging and a few months ago I was offered a spot with a blues / rock band fronted by an attractive 29 year old female lead guitarist.

My point is, I decided to leave and never return to originals bands because I want to entertain every weekend and be compensated.

You have 1 major obstacle, you live in an area with limited opportunities. Not much you can do about that. Your age shouldn't matter that much. The 20 something bands don't want us and we shouldn't want them either.

Don't give up on new opportunities, but to answer your question, don't leave your band just yet.

blue
 
#5
Why aren't you having fun? What would make it fun? Are the other guys having fun?

"...and we'll have fun fun fun 'til her daddy takes her T-bird away"

Since you're playing originals, you can create all sorts of havoc by simply changing up the bass parts...might actually be an improvement. BTW, if you're not enjoying yourself, your bandmates have already picked up on this. If you quit, you'll regret it in the not-too-distant future.

Have you spoken frankly with your bandmates? The truth oftentimes brings out the simplest solutions.

Riis
 
#6
AfroCubanFunkMa said:
Why not talk to your guys about putting together a second band with them that does fun covers and such.. Might be just what you need to cure what ails ya...
Click to expand...

This is right on. If you have played together for four years, then you should be able to talk to them and discuss what you feel like is lacking. Possibly add a couple different genres of songs? Might look to add keyboard for a different feel. But, talk they may feel the same way. I have played in so many bad bands; I would hate to see you give up on a group you get along with.
I also am 51, I filled in on a 20 something band when a student broke his arm, so I helped took his place. Musically was good, not a good mix after that.
 
#7
You don't say if the guitar player is the only vocalist, but if so that may be contributing to the boredom. A trio only offers a limited sonic palate. It usually requires extreme talent to remain interesting. Perhaps a keyboard player that can sing harmony would spice things up.

As much as I enjoy great instrumentalists, vocal quality and variety separate the good from the average. The same voice, even if good, gets old. Just my opinion.:)
 
#8
Thanks for your input folks! We've been trying to add players over the years but of the prospectives who actually showed up for practices and a few shows, a guitarist and then later a keys player, neither stuck around for very long. I missed having them because I felt it afforded me the opportunity to explore and experiment with scales/chords/arpeggios and syncopation instead of having to fill up an area of empty sonic real estate and rigidly maintain the groove of the song to keep it going. Basically fit the bill as the bassist and rhythm guitarist at the same time... especially during the guitar solos which almost every one of our songs has at least one of.

When we first got together our practices would revolve around quite a few free-form jams to hash out new song ideas... that was a load of fun. However as time went on our songs were birthed more and more around a very busy almost solo style guitar riff the guitarist would come up with. I don't know if it's just that my musical vocabulary is limited but I'd have a hard time coming up with a bass part that didn't make the song sound like a struggle between instruments. With some of my favorite local bands that we've played with I could watch their set and as each of their songs unfolded I could come up with a slew of different bass parts that I think really grooved and would be interesting... I could really get into the songs. With our songs it seems that my first thought is "*** could I possibly add?" followed by "oh yea, this might not clash too badly without having to be yet another one octave triad".

Anyway, thanks for the advice... before being too hasty I guess I should just talk to them about it and also get their perspectives on the band situation.
 
#10
I am in a similar boat. Pretty bored with my current band, and always looking to see if there is a match to something else out there.

Opportunities are very hard to come by here, and my age doesn't help.

But my approach has been - don't leave what you have until you have something else.
 
#11
It doesn't matter what you're doing, you end up here. It's no fun anymore.

I think its growing pains. You're changing. Totally normal and to be expected. My advice is to not quit yet.......hang in there and make your commitment based on something other than how you feel for a while. My guess is that something new and good could be around the corner.
 

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