[the drummer ]says "So is that mine?" I said well I think we all better discuss that.
he said if you don't start giving me gas money, I am done pulling the trailer.
I said well that would suck, I guess we will have to pay a sound guy every gig and we will all make even less..he said well if that happens I will just stay home.
I said, before we had the trailer when me and the singer each carried half the gear, we never once asked for any extra gas money.
...
I guess if he wants to hold us hostage for the gas money we will have to pay until we find an alternative method of getting our stuff to the gig and a different ass on the drum throne.
So the real upshot of this is that you're learning what happens when you don't address issues head-on. Money concerns are real, and affect everyone differently. Justified or not, this was a concern for him, and you guys kinda punted on dealing with it. The minute he raised the question of gas money, you could have easily said "good point, let's go over the whole band's finances and work it out." Then you map out everyone's expenses, and contributions. And you write it all out, you all agree on it, and you make it clear that anyone unhappy has two choices -- agree or leave. Best case scenario -- you could have shown him that he was getting a good deal.
But now it's antagonistic -- you feel, wrongly, that asking for gas money is "holding [the band] hostage." He feels he has to fight to get fair compensation for storing and towing the trailer (quite possibly wrong as well). But now you have ANOTHER chance to address this head on. Get over your emotional response and treat it like simple band business. I'd go so far as to say you should apologize to him for not clearing it up sooner. Whether or not you were paid in the past or complained is irrelevant -- his concern is real, and it's appropriate for him to raise the concern and expect it to be addressed professionally.
Now, if you guys map out an equitable distribution of expenses, and he is still unhappy, then you can put it on him to (a) make his counter-case, (b) accept it, or (c) leave. If he gripes after that you can say "we all agreed this was fair -- if you are unhappy you shouldn't have agreed to it."
This is one of the easy ones -- band money is a business matter, so take the emotions out of it and treat it as such.
It's also a good chance to practice important band skills: conflict resolution, and managing band finances.
Good luck, man!
ltt
